Comment by Jenn on December 21, 2011 at 9:13pm

Hi Rosy, thanks for the advice. Everything seems to point towards just telling the kids at school and owning up to the fact that she has alopecia. It clearly seems like the best choice b/c then kids would not be curious any more. However, she absolutely will NOT talk about it at all. I tried talking to her again tonight and asking her about school, etc. She asked me not to talk about her hair and that she just wants to talk about normal things. Maybe with time it will get better, but I DO need to do something in the meantime b/c you are right-hiding it is a stressful thing for a kid. I talked to the principle and her teachers again today and I don't think it will happen w/this particular girl again but that is only ONE kid out of how many :( Middle school is hard enough for a girl w/out having to deal with this. ON a side note, I guess eventually I am going to have to get her a freedom wig b/c those look the best from what I've seen! Everything just happened so fast I haven't had time ! However, if the kids know by then I guess it won't matter how real her hair looks. :( IDK if I should make her go to a therapist???
Thanks again
Jenn

Comment by Jenn on December 22, 2011 at 7:56am

Thanks Rosy :) I will keep working with her!

Comment by Georgia Gardner on December 22, 2011 at 6:13pm

Hey Jenn,
In general, I always would reccomend honesty and information to help combat the ignorance that makes alopecia so difficult to live with. If your daughter doesn't want to talk about it, it can be much more difficult. I went through a similar time in high school, trying to pretend I didn't have this condition. I would reccomend trying to get her in contact with other alopecians. Is she on this site? I'm not sure where you're from, but getting in contact with your local alopecia foundation, like the naaf or aaaf could help. Even when you're getting a wig, maybe ask to have a talk with the freedom wig representative lady. If she's mostly concerned about alopecia not being 'normal' and that's why she won't talk about it, it could help her greatly to see other people with te condition.

Comment by Jenn on December 22, 2011 at 11:01pm

I do think it would help if she met a few other girls w/alopecia. Maybe even girls a few years older b/c she looks up to them. I know she would be mad at first but I am sure she would feel better after meeting them. She is not on this website-she would be mad I'm on it!

Comment by Tallgirl on December 22, 2011 at 11:05pm

It would be worth a family vacation/drive/B & B stay to meet up with a teen support group in another city. Check support people on www.naaf.org in cities where you have relatives (cheaper than hotel!).

Comment by Jenn on December 22, 2011 at 11:26pm

Good ideas, thanks :)

Comment by Tallgirl on December 23, 2011 at 12:49pm

That way, she wouldn't have to worry about people in her own town "finding out" and gossiping. She could then have those pen-pals, phone contacts, and support people to shop with for wigs or hats, out of town, until she gets more nonchalant about this.

Comment by velvet on December 27, 2011 at 2:59pm

educate the children and make sure she has loads of love from you which by the sounds you do
if she has a best friend why not have a word with their parents so that she knows theres always someone in school her age who will help her. ask the teacher to talk to the class and depending on your daughters confidence levels get her to talk to the class hugs to her i know how she feels i went through the same but it will make her stronger xx

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