Alopecia World
Where acceptance is all there is!
Should you feel that you have to explain? NO but I do
A couple of years ago I was on holiday in the Dominican. One night,in the restaurant, the man on the table next to ours started asking me about my hair! Wig. He asked me how I had got it curly and if it was permed. I replied that it wasn't naturally curly and smiled hoping that would be that. But his wife kicked him under the table and apologised to me for her inquisitive husband. He told her 'shut up -you don't know it could be a WIG', enough was enough so I said 'well yes actually it is a wig'. He carried on asking questions, it dawned on me that it didn't occur to him that I was wearing it for a reason other than I fancied a new 'do' for the night. So, I then found myself explaining (god knows why) that I didn't have any choice and I had to wear one for medical reasons. In fact he was a hairdresser.
In my younger days I was extremely slim and strangers used to think it was acceptable behaviour to tell me how thin I was! I used to eat like a horse and would have to HATE explaining that it wasn't through choice. I doubt the same people would go up to obese people and point out how fat they are!
What makes people think it is acceptable to make comments to strangers about their appearance?
Comment
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Comment by hoofpick on July 24, 2014 at 11:40am
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Wisteira can you share your wig wearing spotting? I am curious too.
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LOL at Melissa, I had such a good laugh today with what you wrote your husbands pressure principle!! TY for sharing!!
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How?? M curious
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I think sometimes people believe they are paying you a compliment by asking. I remember a woman who asked repeatedly about my 'highlights'. She said she'd never seen them so deftly applied and wanted to know who did my hair. I gave serious thought to responding with "Raquel Welch", but then just said "I do my own hair". I mean, it's my hair, I paid for it. And I'm the one who determined the color and I'm the one who styles it every day. If someone thinks there's another truth there who cares?
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Comment by wisteria on July 24, 2014 at 11:15am
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I can spot a wig at 50 paces lol
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People ask if you're wearing a wig??
I've never had that -- although of course people could very well be talking behind my back.
How do people know it's a wig??
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Comment by Amouna on July 24, 2014 at 10:05am
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I hate to explain for people why I'm wearing wig!!
They always asking me if it my real hair or no..
Some people touched my hair to know if it real or wig !!
I feel so annoying ! But I don't know how can I act or faced my problem :/
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Comment by Sybil on July 24, 2014 at 9:36am
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When my daughter first lost her hair I felt I had to explain to EVERYONE. Now, five years later I just explain only if someone asks and then say, "It's Alopecia, hair loss". If they want to drone on about it, fine, but I keep it wo a short conversation.
Unfortunately this is something you will have to dealw ith from time to time.
The other evening I was at a dinner and I saw an elderly gentleman who was obviously wearing a wig. My first thought was, why? He has a great face and I'm sure he looks fine without hair, but then realized it's a personal preference and none of my business. Too bad everyone can't think the same
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Interesting thread.
Personally, I don't see the person asking about getting the hair to curl as being rude. To me, that's like seeing someone with great shoes and asking where they bought them. Especially since hair is his career!
I personally don't feel any obligation to explain my wigs to people, especially since mine is related to a potentially life-threatening and incurable illness. I got angry when people critcized Paula Deen about hiding her diabetes; her life-threatening illness is none of your damn business and she doesn't owe you any disclosure.
Anyway, back to wigs. I actually have received lots of compliments on my hair. Just yesterday I was at the grocery store and and employee approached me to tell me how much she loved my hair. A few months ago I got a new wig and someone liked it so much they asked me what salon I got it done at.
I agree that it's a shame that wearing a wig is seen as this weird/shameful/embarrassing thing. I wonder if a celebrity (say, Tori Amos) got candid about their hair loss, if that would change public perception.
When I started losing my hair, one of the most upsetting things was that I had no idea where to turn, how to buy a wig, etc. Nobody ever talks about it! So I am considering outing myself so people can see an example of someone who isnt ashamed of having a wig and who looks great (see link below for pics). I would like it if people could point their friends or family with hair loss to me and I could help them ... OR if people could say, "wow, jenny wears a wig? She looks great!" And their perception would change.
Too bad I'm not a celebrity!
But I'm not quite there yet. With me, part of the problem is explaing my condition. It would be easier for me to "go public" if I simply had Alopecia.
You can see me in ny new Freedom wig if you scroll down to the seventh photo here:
http://www.pianojenny.com/midtown-atlanta-wedding/
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Comment by Pam D. on July 24, 2014 at 8:28am
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I use any opportunity to educate people about the condition. I am not sensitive about the condition, but I hate when they assume I have cancer (I prefer hats over wigs), so it happens often. I DON'T want anybody feeling sorry for me, especially since I would rather have alopecia than a lot of other conditions or illnesses I COULD have. People are curious; I accept it and move on.
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