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So it seems this isn't going away.
My name is Jennifer. My daughter Madison is a happy, joyful, beautiful 5 year old. Right at the end of October, while washing her hair, I noticed two small bald spots, just about the size of erasers. My first though was, maybe it was fungal. We had had a bought of ringworm the month before. But, after using fungal cream for a week, it was getting worse. So off we went to the pediatrician. The doctor looked at it and said almost immediately that it was alopecia. I had that word floating in my head, I just hoped that wasn't it. The doctor told me there was nothing that could be done. She said it would get worse, get better, grow back, there was just no telling.
I left there feeling a bit fearful, disappointed, and angry that the doctor had seemingly dismissed us so quickly. I'm a planner, so to tell me I had no control, no answers, that just didn't sit well with me. I went home and talked to my husband. We agreed there had to be some answers, things just don't happen for no reason. I sat down and searched online for any information I could find. I called my mother in law, who thinks she can cure anything with vitamins and nutrition. She put us on a regiment of vitamins, and told us not to feed her any oils or sugars. I read online that some people have had success with cutting gluten out of their diets, so we went gluten free. Not easy. I made appointments at the allergist, dermatologist, naturalist, and a second pediatrician. Still, Madisons hair keeps coming out.
She has a spot the size of a tennis ball on the back of her head, and a couple now starting on the top and right of her head. My husband and I have gone through all sorts of emotions. Despair, fear, anger, denial, acceptance. There has been nights I just can't sleep, wondering what is going to happen, and how to help my baby cope with it. She starts kindergarten in August. What if the kids tease her? What if she is self conscious, or feels different, or set apart? I have tried to imagine her learning to deal with it in a positive way. I would hope I could help her become very confident and sure of herself and her beauty, with or without hair. But the reality is, I just can't predict how she will feel, and I don't want to demand that she feel any particular way. I just want to support her. We are at the point now of accepting that this is not going to go away, and is out of our control. There is some peace that comes with that. I believe God has a plan for Madison, if this is to be part of her life, I know He can use it for her good. It is hard for me to surrender control, but I know I need to have faith.
A couple days ago I was standing in line at the grocery store with Maddie. The checker said, 'is there two of them?", talking about my purchases. Madison looks at me and whispers, "mom, is she talking about my spots?". I was kind of shocked, I just said not honey. In the car I told her, no she wasn't talking about you. I want you to know that you are beautiful, no matter what, and I want you to feel comfortable. If wearing a hat would make you feel better, we can do that for you. She said yes, she would like to wear hats. So, yesterday, we went hat shopping. We found some really cute ones, and it made her so happy.
So here I am, starting this blog. I'm trying to get my feelings out, and get some support and guidance from others going through this. It is helpful to know that others have been through the same struggles and have come out winning and living happy carefree lives, no matter what may come.
Thanks for being a listening ear:)
Jennifer
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Comment by Karalee on March 23, 2015 at 11:59pm
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Watching your children go through something difficult is so heart wrenching. Just keep sharing your love with her. Thanks for sharing your story here. It does help to write and get it all out of your system. Welcome to the site. Here's more of my story if you're interested. http://damselindepression.com/more-than-just-a-bad-hair-day/
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Hi Jennifer. I read your story and it touched me. I have a 5 year old amazing son and about a month and a half ago we noticed a bald spot on his head. We visited his pediatrician and a dermatologist and were told it is Alopecia Areata. Since then he has lost most of the hair on the top of his head and only has hair on the sides and back of his head. My husband being the great dad that he is shaved his head along with my son. My son had beautiful long bleach blonde hair so that was a rough day for me but seeing how supportive and positive my husband was that entire time made me so happy that my son has such a strong father who will always be there for him no matter what.
After the diagnosis, I was devastated because my son is so young. But after a few weeks of sadness I realized that this is a part of our lives from now on and I need to stop being sad and accept the diagnosis. All of the feelings you described I felt as well. I agree 100% that God has a plan for our children and I have also put my faith in Him. I know there will be good days and bad days to come but I will always be here for my son through this journey and will always make sure I tell him how handsome, smart and amazing he is every day of his life.
We have also tried different vitamins, going gluten fee, limiting his sugar intake, you name it but nothing seems to be stopping it. For now all I can do is pray and stay positive that his hair will grow back.
Stay strong mama! We will get through this. God will guide us in the journey with our children.
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Comment by peter albert on March 31, 2015 at 4:43am
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Hey, i do understand your feelings and i don't want to let you down or be negative, but actuallythere is no treatment.so please don't grow her up thinking of ways to hide that or feel ashamed about it. Keep telling her how pretty she is and how this doesn't matter if you don't care about it. Mental treatment is the best, god bless you
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Comment by nicky on April 7, 2015 at 11:48am
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My son Nicky was diagnosed when he was 4 years old. He is 11 now. The only advice I can give is educate his classmates before they have the chance to say anything to her about it. Each year at open house where we go to meet the teacher, I give them the information and make sure they understand the condition first. Then I hand them a greeting letter to be handed out to each child addressed to the parent. In the letter it just tells a little about my son, his likes, hobbies, etc. so the kids can see he is just like they are. Also in the letter I explain the condition and ask the parents to discuss it with their children. The principal at my sons school has approved him to wear hats indoors when ever he feels the need with out getting in trouble, so each year I have to make sure the teachers know this.
I understand how you feel, and it is really hard to see our children going through this. Just read everything you can and educate people your child comes in contact with. Thats just my advice.
Also check out Molly Vazquez videos on youtube.
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