Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Stress-related. Really?
Just curious...what, in your opinion, was the cause of the beginning of your hair loss?
For me...I was under a tremendous amount of stress. One thing came after the other for a number of years (including a strenuous marriage and owning a hair salon/spa...a whole other story). Towards the end, things became quietly unbearable for me...from getting a divorce to buying a house and moving into the house on the same weekend as switching jobs.
I met my boyfriend one month after moving into my 2 bedroom house (which I bought for my teenage son and myself). Eight months after that, I found out that I was pregnant and I had to "break the news" to my son (and my parents for that matter). He then took this opportunity to rebel hardcore, in my opinion, breaking my heart everyday.
My body did not agree with pregnancy in many ways but hairloss began one week BEFORE child birth. I knew this was different than hormonal pregnancy hair loss because that usually happens 3 months after childbirth. The missing circles grew back. One year later, when my teenager took up smoking, partying, being rude and moving out before his 18th birthday it came out again. This time way worse. It started to grow back again but only on the top. The back and sides were shiny. Anyway, after that, it was over. AU all the way.
For added fun, throughout the saga, I was excommunicated from my childhood religion for my "out of wedlock" behavior/situation. As if the guilt instilled in me was not enough to make my hair fall out, I found myself hiding in my house and avoiding phone calls in order to dodge the inevitable visit from the elders. One beautiful day, my older son had our front door opened. I was BUSTED with my newborn baby and 3/4 of my hair attached. They came to personally inform me of my new "status" with the congregation. This religion is a way of life for my parents and my only brother who are now technically not allowed to associate with me. I don't blame them for their beliefs but it is saddening on both ends. Don't get me wrong, my parents remain very parental and lovingly helpful to me when I am in distress or need them for my children.
During and after pregnancy (even up until now), the truth about my "other half's" continuing dependencies and habits have become more and more revealed to me. The stress that foreign world of his has been causing me is in-explainable. I have given him over 4 years to make different choices. Recently, I asked him to leave our home in hopes of him wanting to make the changes on his own. This was an extremely hard thing for me to do given my new physical situation. I really really wanted it to work out!
When getting my divorce and looking towards my future I'd imagined things to be much different. I never wanted to be a single mom, nevertheless, a single mom with AU. I can't help but to wonder...if I had made different choices all along, would my hair have stuck around a few more years? Maybe for my whole life? Only the future can tell if, by making changes to relieve stress, it may grow back :-/
-
Comment by Rob on December 4, 2011 at 3:05am
-
I had my heart stepped all over and then crushed, and I didn't know any better and took it really horribly. You live and you learn :-/
-
Comment by monica on December 4, 2011 at 4:04am
-
you know I have learned not to have any regrets in life...it keeps me positive and hopeful, that even if love didn't work out for me this time around, there's always tomorrow...and I will always have room in my heart for someone to love..
-
Comment by pauline vargas on December 6, 2011 at 1:55pm
-
Hi Deana I too belive that it is stress that triggers it. I was married for 10 years and I wanted children. He did not want any so our marriage was failing, I developed feelings for my neighbor and it was a big mess. I feel in love with my neighbor and we got pregnant right away still being married. My family and friends were very upset with me, co workers were talking behind my back. I worked being pregnant and put up with people talking about me. I ended up having a miscarriage at work. I ran to the bathroom, I was in pain. My boyfriend picked me up and drove me to the emergency room, we lost our baby. I told myself I am not going to let others bother me these our my choices in my life. Alopecia started to kick in after that, I filled for divorce and started my new life with a partner that wants to start a family with me. We got pregnant again 6 months later, alopecia was gone my hair was thicker. I had a healthy pregnancy and had another baby a year later. When I gave birth to my second baby it took 8 months for all my hair to fall out. My Dermatologist recommend squaric acid and that was bad I ended up going to the emergency room for swelling and I had a hard time breathing. The worse feeling ever I slept with a Rowland on my head and stuffed ice cubes inside so my scalp could feel some what better. My scalp was on fire red and it itched horribly. I took a break from treatments and shaved my head. Now I wear wigs and I am hoping that with time my hair will come back.
-
Comment by Pat on January 3, 2012 at 4:17am
-
Looks like you Molly and I are from the same religion!!! Wow, a small world indeed - and I have my own stresses concerning 'them'. If you ever need a shoulder to vent on, either of you I'm sure we can swap stories. My hairloss started by coping with my daughter's molestation by one of 'the brothers' who happened to by her uncle, the incredibly dismissive way it was handled by the elders and I could go on and on. Needless to say I'm out, but it was a heartbreaking time which has left its scars...
-
Comment by Molly on January 15, 2012 at 2:24pm
-
I may have had a different trigger the first time but I'm not sure what it was life is challenging all the time. I'm not trying for reinstatement my family pretty much has all fallen away and I joined the Army which was a dream of mine since I was a kid so while I'll alwasys miss my "brothers and sisters" and I know its the best religion out there the botherhood of the Army and the opportunity to good for the world in a different more tangible way fills that void. But its always in the back of my mind...
-
-
Molly, it's great you are living the life you want to live without interference from them. One of my greatest regrets is that I never lived the life I could have because of putting the religion first and the guilt that goes with that if I didn't. You are very lucky in getting out while you're still young and can follow your dreams and goals. Well done!
-
-
Thank you so much for the encouragement it is an overwhelming kind of guilt and I lost my husband as a result but I feel very proud of what I'm doing now and lucky like you said that I'm still relatively young (not young by Army lower enlisted standards lol) to start over.
-
-
Losing your husband must have been tough...you're a very courageous woman to pick up and carve a life out for yourself. You are still young by my reckoning :)
Comment
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- Next ›
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!
Join Alopecia World