I feel like this community has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. For so long, I felt like I was the only one dealing with this. I'd seen women losing their hair on hair transplant tv commercials, but never really gotten to talk to anyone dealing with the condition. It's such a releif to talk to people who understand and can let me know what to expect down the road. It also really helps to see women on here who have everything I want-husbands, children, and successful careers, and didn't let their alopecia stand in their way. Over the years, I've kind of convinced myself that because I had alopecia, I was going to have to live without all those things, so it's nice to know I might be wrong.

For now, I'm just trying to stop mourning my hair loss and start being positive. I know I might have to loosen up the timeline I had in my head about when I would get married, have kids, and have a high-powered career, but all I can do now is stay positive and not let my alopecia get in my way.

Views: 1

Comment by Farial Michaelsen on January 12, 2010 at 2:18pm
Hi Andrea. This yr will be 24 yrs that I have Alopecia Totalis. Its been really long but I have learnt that patience is something that we have to endure. I too wanted to be loved and have the fairytale like most girls do. So I knew it wasn't gonna happen in my time so I played sports and attained really great heights in it too and then just started enjoying my life. My friends and family supported me and where always there to defend me when people would pick on me. Later in life when all my friends where getting married etc, a thought crossed my mind too that "I would be sitting on the shelf" as they would say. But that was not true I met someone who was not my first boyfriend and we became friends and today we together 10 yrs and married for 4yrs. We have a lovely son you has a head full of hair and they accept me the way I am. I had to learn to accept myself the way I am. I must admit that at times I still get the stares when I wear the scarves or wigs and it anoys the hell out of me but I just have to move on and not let them bring me down. Your time for having a husband and kids will come, just believe in that.
Comment by Andrea on January 12, 2010 at 6:34pm
Thanks Farial, that gives me hope!
Comment by Andrea on January 13, 2010 at 3:23am
I think many of us are sceptical of being able to move forward. Since my own loss is associated with my health, it's not my hair that I think might impede me, but my health. At almost 39, I'm single, never married, no kids. Not that I haven't WANTED these things in my life but I've never met a man that was ready to step up to the plate. Just tonight I saw the last man I dated and he'd told me (before I got sick) that he was afraid he'd have to take care of me. I have multiple injuries from a car crash. Tonight I radiant and sociable, and he saw other guys showing interest in me...despite the fact that I was sitting there with no wig (but a hat on, I was cold). My one male friend and confidant (who is also a Pastor) said he bets that Anthony is kicking himself right now. Only God knows. We'll see. What is an impediment might fade away at a later date.
Comment by Andrea on January 13, 2010 at 9:46am
Andrea,

From coming across a few of your other comments, you just seem to me like you have the most positive sprit. I wish I could view things more like you do. I think you're right though, living well and being happy is the best revenge! We both might need to loosen up our timelines, but I think we both will end up getting something in the end that will make up happy. And maybe its not even going to be what we think we want right now. Thanks for your insight!

Andrea
Comment by Andrea on January 13, 2010 at 8:04pm
That helps a lot Thea. Thanks so much for all your insight!!
Comment by BTB (John) on January 20, 2010 at 1:04pm
My wife Pat has been smooth on her head for 12 years or there about and has been amazing she sends to China and Korea to get wigs made buys the hair etc and it has saved us a fortune. The web is a great place for information and support I am so glad Pat found this site. Alopecia has not changed how I view Pat in anyway we still have fun we still have fights in fact other than the fact she is bald nothing has changed and don't see bald as a deal breaker. Would I like her to have her back yes of course but for her sake not for my male reaction to her loss. I have aid this before but when it started happening I considered myself pretty shallow and wondered how I was going to be able to make out it did not bother me, i didn't have to make out because it did not bother me it has not made any difference to how I love her, feel for her, respect her, and desire her, and I got to realize I am not that shallow at all. the only thing i was having problems with was the south of the border hair, when that went it was odd, the head was no bother but in the erotic areas I like to know I a with a grown woman so i was very grateful when the miracle of the pubis occurred. Great blog really interesting and inspiring Love John xoxoxo

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