Alopecia World
Where acceptance is all there is!
The Bulls at the School
So here I am upset at a situation. Upset at peoples reactions. My daughter who is in 5th grade and just entered the middle school and age of hormones has just faced the cruelty of people. My daughter was diagnosed with Alopecia 3 years ago. She did not let it make her frown. She did not let it make her think she was anything less. The way she explained her condition was "my hair is allergic to my head". Positive and confident she was until today....
Lunch time comes. A few boys were pestering her. These boys were told by another kids who knew her condition that she wore a wig. She was minding her own business until the bully comes along to make it a point to let half the cafeteria know that she wore a wig. Now half the school knows cause everyone tells everyone and it even got up to my son who didn't see her till after football practice.
That was the beginning of all the tortures throughout the day and all the calls I got about the things kids said and did to her that she just didn't want to go back to class. The worst of it comes when the "mean girls" decide that it would be funny to rip her wig off her head as she is coming out of the auditorium for a event.
My poor daughter had to deal with that today. She never wants to go back to school and this was all in one day.
What am I supposed to do as a mother who is supposed to bandage her heart? I want to go in there with rage. But why do that? Kids will be kids. I sat and thought, all I want is my confident little girl back with her head held up high. I think the only thing to do is educate. As I reached out I found that may people are being bullied for many things cause people are un educated.
I have a meeting tomorrow with the school and im not sure how to go about this. I got emails from teachers apologizing and its not their fault. I don't know what to do to make it better.
Im thinking about suggesting awareness of bullying not only on Alopecia but a few other things. Does anyone know what things to do in such a event. I want the kids to become aware of Alopecia so that they can behave in a educated way. I have someone willing to speak in regards to other bullying situations. But I want to inform kids that they will be intrigued...any suggestions?
Comment
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Comment by aweiss on October 30, 2015 at 12:57pm
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First of all, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It's just so hard to watch your child go through this.
I have a 12yo boy. We were new to our district last year, which was hard enough. Then last summer my son was diagnosed w AA and that was rougher. This year he had permission to wear his hat which made him a target. He could not get down the hallway without some kid knocking it off and the playground was worse. This is not OK and as soon as another child touches yours,its really not OK. I hate to say it, but we ended up pulling him out of the school to a much smaller, private one and it is 100% better. However, this is not always an option, I know.
Some suggestions from our counselor though before we left:
-Find a group of 3 or so close friends and let them know what is going on along with counselor. Since you have an older child at the school, perhaps include him and one of his friends so they can be a lookout and advocate.
-The school much educate ALL staff as to what is going on with your child so they can look for any problems.
-Use the CAAP info to distribute among staff - as you know its very good!
-Keep doing activities your child loves to do....
-Perhaps have her speak to a counselor or therapist
Sorry. Keep talking to us too! You are not alone. We all know too that the kids being picked on like this often come back and get revenge by being the most successful, kind and empathetic ones out in the world!!
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Comment by Alayna's dad on October 30, 2015 at 11:07am
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Little kids ask questions. Like are you a boy or girl? I have told my daughter. Its okay. They are just openly curious. That is understandable.
Pulling a wig off to humiliate. Is the same as triping a person with crutches or leading a blind person into a wall. Is that funny? 5th grade is old enough to know. keep your hands to yourself!
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My daughter is in seveth grade now. I have read story's of simular event's happening with others in the past. The only way to stop it is to bring asult charges. Then people stop laughing.
Because that is what it is.....!
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Comment by Tallgirl on October 25, 2015 at 12:11pm
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Superintendant.
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Darn this cell phone keypad. Forgive typos. School districts and schools, it should read!
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Actually, the Education Code may have things listed in your state about schoo districts a.d schools who do NOT take steps to protect students who are harrassed once notified. Andrey, I have been a teacher over 30 years and have a Master's Degree and three teaching credentials, and have actually gone to Safe Schools training, seen districts that have had to comply, and have had harrassment myself about alopecia. The only wackiness here is letting bullying get out of hand. Alopecia support groups and kids' camps for akopecia can help once or twuce a year, but with so few alopecians in a given city, a child who is bullied can feel pretty darn alone in this unless the parents of bullies are told about the facts of this condition and start sensitizing their bullying children. Did I day criminal charges against children? No. The most a child can get for bullying is suspension. But a teacher, principal, superontendant, counselor, nurse or district's not protecting a child after a parent's complaint can be up for admonishment or lawsuit. Parents of special education students won rights for full inclusion years ago via Supreme Court action. Why, then, can't students with ANY kinds of conditions have to suffer just to go to school and make friends in safety?
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Comment by Garlandsmomndad on October 20, 2015 at 8:02pm
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Aloha girl,,, today my son experienced a similar incident we just got home and he told me he went tother bathroom at school and in the hall way so e 5th graders where going to lunch where they started laughing and pointing at my son. I asked him why he wasn't wearing his hat?...he said his head was hot.. he didn't cry he said he just wants felt sad and I said that would make me feel sad also but mostly sad for the kids who laughed at him and that in life you have mean people who are inappropriate. I'm so glad tall girl mentioned about safe school program for emotional safety.I think I might call the school board and just see what rights my child has and how I can try and control bullying at his school. My son is only 8 and has just been diagnosed so I'm sure this will be important to him and his wellbeing.
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Take it to the school board and suggest a Safe
Schools Program for emotional safety and physical safety. Ask to have a legal dept have those parents of the girls come in to discuss assault and theft of a prosthesis. I bet the school will snap to attention soon! --A teacher with alopecia
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Comment by McKenzie Anne on October 17, 2015 at 11:01am
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I am so sorry that your daughter had to endure that, sometimes kids don't realize what their actions cause. Your daughter sounds like such a Sweet strong girl she will get through this, she just needs to remember that she is who she is meant to be and other people who cant see a beatuiful soul don't matter one bit. I went through a lot growing up with Alopecia but I learned a long time ago that if you have a positive perspective on this condition than you can overcome a lot of obstacles.
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Yes he seems to be. It's his classmates I worry about. And some adults are no better. We are taking it one day at time. But, for the most part he seems happy.
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