The horrors of getting a hair cut when you're so close to bald

So, I still have enough hair that I'm not wearing a wig or topper as of yet. But, trust me that my scalp is VERY easy to see at the right angle in the right light. I hold my hair up and I can see my entire scalp from the front to the back of my head. Strangely enough I'm beginning to accept it.

I knew I had to get a haircut- I had split ends and it was looking shaggy. I took 3 of my anxiety pills and went into the salon. I had a hat on, and before I took the hat off, I told her that I have alopecia and I'm loosing quite a bit of hair. I told her I was very embarrassed by it and that getting a haircut isn't fun for me like it used to. She saw me start to cry and put her arm on my shoulder. She was very positive, didn't try to give my any advice and worked as fast as she could. She kept me distracted by asking me questions about my job. I kept my eyes closed through the whole experience because when my hair is wet, you can see my entire scalp on top. A glimpse of that isn't good for me, especially knowing I was in public. It looked nice enough when it was done. At least now it looks healthy and shiny. She also mentioned that I had baby hairs growing all over my head. I don't know if it's the result of the shampoo I use (Clinicure- the spray claims to actually regrow hair), or if I don't really have FPB, that it was just stress and it's gonna come back. Also, I'm a Christian who believes that everything happens to us for a reason. I also believe in a God who can heal- maybe these baby hairs are just the beginning of lotsa new hairs.

I'm seeing the dermatologist on Tuesday- I'm expecting her to say, "yep, you have female pattern baldness, sorry." and off she goes. I'm expecting a horrible experience, so if it goes well, or I get great encouragement, then that would be great!

Views: 1249

Comment by Anne Williams on March 6, 2011 at 12:02pm
Been there with the haircut phobia. I get tired of sideways glances of other beauty operators or their clients in a busy salon. I found one that has a little privacy, an excellent stylist and understanding patrons. I am about to get what is left of my hair cut short so it is easier to wear my new wigs. Hang in there.
Comment by Gabriela on March 6, 2011 at 12:40pm
Glad you're beginning to accept it! And I absolutetly understand about the hair salon thing...it's been almost two years for me.... :S
Comment by Heather on March 6, 2011 at 7:40pm
I know what you are going through, I put off a haircut for too long. Luckily, I found a salon in NYC that specialized in people who have all kinds of hair loss...the guy who cut my hair seemed compassionate. Oh, I brought my husband for moral support.
Comment by Rachel on March 7, 2011 at 4:41am
I went for my first haircut in a "proper" salon since getting alopecia 15 months ago. I too explained to the girl and she was fine and just talked to me about other stuff and didn't ask any questions. She showed me the back after she'd finished and it wasn't as bad as I thought. It made my hair much better condition too.

Glad you got on okay and good luck at dermatologists.
Comment by Kate on March 10, 2011 at 12:52am
Oh, I got my haircut tonight and had a very sad and upset evening as a result (yes, there may have been a few tears as I prepared dinner). I think I know exactly how you feel. I know we all work very hard to make progress finding acceptance, and day to day things get better and we feel more resilient in our situation. But of course in a situation focused ENTIRELY on our hair, like at a salon, it can bring back some of the stresses and backslide our progress for a time. At least it's that way for me.

I felt most sad tonight, because my hairstyle (who is compassionate and understanding and a good woman) was asking me if I have considered Nioxin as a treatment for my androgenic alopecia. I explained no, I did not want to use chemical treatments in order to 1) keep my body healthy for pregnancy in the future, and 2) because I am trying to find a sense of peace with the idea that I may just loose more hair and need to shave it off and live life bald someday. Well, poor thing, she was nearly aghast at the idea of me shaving. It left me feeling concerned and apprehensive. I know my stylist was not trying to be mean, but her reaction to a woman shaving is probably representative of most of the world. My confidence in my future as a bald woman was shaken.

Female Pattern Baldness is a particularly uncomfortable type of hair loss I believe, especially for those of us who are younger and experience it. It is just not even talked about in society, and can feel shameful. It is so comforting and encouraging to meet others on this site with similar experiences and feelings, so we can share out stories and coping mechanisms.

I hope you new haircut leaves you feeling refreshed. Take care and I hope to see you around the site more!

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