So, I still have enough hair that I'm not wearing a wig or topper as of yet. But, trust me that my scalp is VERY easy to see at the right angle in the right light. I hold my hair up and I can see my entire scalp from the front to the back of my head. Strangely enough I'm beginning to accept it.
I knew I had to get a haircut- I had split ends and it was looking shaggy. I took 3 of my anxiety pills and went into the salon. I had a hat on, and before I took the hat off, I told her that I have alopecia and I'm loosing quite a bit of hair. I told her I was very embarrassed by it and that getting a haircut isn't fun for me like it used to. She saw me start to cry and put her arm on my shoulder. She was very positive, didn't try to give my any advice and worked as fast as she could. She kept me distracted by asking me questions about my job. I kept my eyes closed through the whole experience because when my hair is wet, you can see my entire scalp on top. A glimpse of that isn't good for me, especially knowing I was in public. It looked nice enough when it was done. At least now it looks healthy and shiny. She also mentioned that I had baby hairs growing all over my head. I don't know if it's the result of the shampoo I use (Clinicure- the spray claims to actually regrow hair), or if I don't really have FPB, that it was just stress and it's gonna come back. Also, I'm a Christian who believes that everything happens to us for a reason. I also believe in a God who can heal- maybe these baby hairs are just the beginning of lotsa new hairs.
I'm seeing the dermatologist on Tuesday- I'm expecting her to say, "yep, you have female pattern baldness, sorry." and off she goes. I'm expecting a horrible experience, so if it goes well, or I get great encouragement, then that would be great!
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