Hi! I am about to turn 35 years old and after doing some math, realized I have been dealing with AA for 15 years now. It started my freshman year of college - one morning I woke up and most of both my eyebrows had fallen out. I actually didn't really worry too much about it. As time went on, though, the hair on the right side of my head started to recede all along the hairline, along with the right eyebrow. The left side of my head was perfect! This went on for years. I visited doctors and dermatologists. I did everything from steroid injections to oral steroids to dritho cream to Rogaine. Sometimes things would work, but only for a short period. I was married in a small town so I wasn't put into situations very often where I was self-conscious about my hair.
A few years ago, my husband left me for another woman. I recently moved to the Chicagoland area and started a great new job and have a great boyfriend. I still battle the anxiety and depression the divorce caused, but all in all, things have been going great the past year or so. Except for the AA. Since spring, it has become the most aggressive it has ever been. It has moved to the left side as well, including the left eyebrow and even eyelashes now (first time ever). I do not think there is any of my original hairline left....kind of like a lake drying up. My anxiety and depression got worse and kept me from seeking help immediately. With the help of my psychiatrist and a new anxiety medicine, I was finally able to find a new dermatologist (that I am seeing today)and joined a new Alopecia support group. That support group is great and I look forward to our second meeting! They told me about this website, which is also awesome, as well as some places with really good, caring people to help with wigs and hairpieces. I actually have an appointment set already at one of those places! It seems that at the rate my hair is falling out, I will need something by Christmas. I was letting my fear of not knowing where to start cripple me. Now that I have some help and direction, I am feeling incredibly empowered!
I keep thinking my main issue is my physical appearance not being "normal". And while that is a normal reaction, I also do not place my value in how I look on the outside. I discovered the core issue is my lack of control. There is nothing that I can do to prevent losing all my hair. I can try all those things that worked short term in the past, but sometimes the side effects were awful (steroids = serious weight gain). I think what I need to focus on is the control I do still have - how I react to this. Courage and confidence are learned, and I am being schooled:-) So each milestone I reach that scared the crap outta me before will be even sweeter now. Right now it is little things - like putting what is left of my hair up in a pony tail when I went for my walk/jog last night. I realized I have been hiding something for 15 years, whether or not I needed to. And that it exhausting. I see a lot of people on here who finally took that step to shave the rest of their hair and maybe even go bald out in public....and they wish they hadn't waited so long. It's liberating for them. I can totally understand that, and am pretty sure I will get to that point. But everyone goes at their own pace and tries to do the best they can with the hand they are dealt.
Anyway, this was just a rant that doesn't require any responses. It's just nice being able to open up about things in a safe environment. The more I see on here, the less "odd" I feel. The more I see on here, the more brave I know I can become. The more I see on here, the more I realize that beauty (even outward beauty) lies in everyone, no matter what "imperfections" we have.
Thanks for everyone who posts on here.....