replys to comments:
lois-all my mother did when she found out is tell me to stop talking to tommy and say that i needed professional help. which she never followed through on. after that night she never said another word about it. i lied to her and said i only did it once. i wanna be a psychaiatrist. ironic as that is. thats weird, my friend garrett told me just the other night that i spend too much time trying to fix other people and not enough on myself...hmm. well thanks for yer concern. i probably should focus on myself a bit more...i guess it couldn't hurt.

tallgirl- i've talked to my school counsler before. he's great. idk why, but i never went back. i guess because i had to skip lunch to see him...but schools out so i can't see him anymore. and i don't go to church so yeah..and i don't really want my mom thinking im mentally unstable again so a counslers out of the question. and my hair is long gone. i wear a wig now. im happy with it. minus the fact that i have to have it but you know what i mean...i don't think i'm really the leader type..i tend to follow everyone else.

now onto recent events...
i would say "kyle cheated on me" but i can't because we weren't going out. but he still lead me on for like a week before i found out. i've cried myself to sleep every night since then. i honestly loved him. he was the first guy i opened up to since tommy. the first one i trusted with everything. and now he's like "im sorry this is whats best for me i never meant to hurt you" blah blah blah. i threw multiple bitch-fits at him before i forgave him. and im still really sad about it. all i do most days is stay in my basement and listen to sad songs. bleh. im such a vampire. i don't even wanna go outside cuz i don't like the sun very much. and my best friend quentin is at his dads house this week so im out of luck. i told kyle, "i'm gonna go ahead and forgive you, but I AM NOT OVER IT." so he better not think he can do this again and just get away with it. kyle really isn't like other guys. he's not just into getting sex and drugs and beer. he's actually looking for someone to love and care for. which is why i fell for him in the first place. he may have hurt me but i know it wasn't his intention. well i think thats about it so comment pleease.