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Thoughts on being a bald science fiction icon at Comic-Con
I want to share my thoughts about wearing my Ilia costume at Comic-Con. Attached is a photo of the original character, played by Persis Khambatta in 1979's Star Trek - The Movie.
For my two days in the costume, when people looked at me, they DIDN'T see a woman with cancer, or a masculine-looking female. They saw me as normal and healthy - more than that, they saw me as beautiful and sexy! (I apologize if this sounds boastful, but the character is much-loved and I nailed the costume.)
For two days, I was stopped repeatedly and asked to pose for photos. Young, nice-looking men wanted to have their picture taken with me. Countless people told me how awesome I looked. Best of all, NO ONE thought I was sick or unusual because of my bald head! I was "normal". (I think most assumed I had shaved. I was asked how long it would take my hair to grow back, and complimented for my commitment to the character for shaving my head.)
As I drove home and back to real life as a bald woman, I felt sad in the same way I felt sad after my first NAAF conference last year when I walked around on the streets of St. Louis with lots of other bald women: sad because I was going back to being the ONLY bald woman, and therefore back to being seen as ill, or strange, or unfeminine by many people.
I hope that those of you who feel more comfortable in a wig understand that I completely respect your choice and that I want everyone to do what feels best for them. I am NOT anti-wig; unfortunately, they just didn't work out for me. But, for those of you who are "on the fence" or who have considered going "out" bald for whatever reason, I urge you to give it a try. Take baby steps and you may find, as I did, that it just gets easier and becomes who you are.
I urge this because I dream of the day when all bald women, myself included, could feel just as normal, unremarkable, and beautiful as I felt in my Ilia costume at Comic-Con. I firmly believe that this day will come, but only after there are many more bald women seen in public. The only way that will happen is if we do it.
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Comment by Mary on July 30, 2014 at 2:59pm
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Yes, Cheryl, the only thing that changed was the perception of other people. Inside ComicCon, they perceived me as that bald character. In "real life", they see me/us as the only image of a bald woman that they have in their minds: a chemo patient. As I said, the only way that people will have a DIFFERENT perception is if they see more bald women who don't have cancer. :-)
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Comment by Lisa on July 30, 2014 at 4:48pm
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Your very beautiful & brave and Thank you for sharing. It's so nice to relate to another. I battle with wanting to go without my wig and scarfs. I live in a small town (born & raised) people tell me how beautiful I am either way but I do sometimes get treated differently. Growing up being bald wasn't always so easy here. It's them scares that keep me from it. I'm trying to build my confidence so I can one day. My kids friends come over and they catch me without my wig, some look at me as me and others wonder if they should look at me as if I'm a naked.
Sometimes that's it feels as if I'm naked in the middle of a crowd of people and no where to hide. A little uncomfortable. Lol..
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I know how you feel, Lisa. I had to take baby steps to being bald in public. Now it's just who I am. I often wear T-shirts from Mondobaldo.com that say things like "Sorry to hear about your bad hair day"...let's people know I'm cool with it and they should be too. Seems to lighten the mood.
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Comment by Linda on July 30, 2014 at 6:02pm
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Wonderful! So agree with what you say and you look fab in the costume.....as fabulous as you do everyday!
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Comment by Eric Heffner on July 30, 2014 at 7:33pm
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Cool beyond words ( 70's !)
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Comment by simone on July 31, 2014 at 7:19am
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You are so cool/beautiful! I will get there one day and do the au naturale thing! Think I will have to get a hold of some of those T-shirts!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHgdGTQiVbc
Here's the actress who played Ilia getting her head shaved. And she looks beautiful!
You look amazing as this character - so fun, and so inspiring. :) I hope I can be as brave as you one day, but right now, I still wear a wig in public.
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It is difficult when people look at you like you have cancer or even ask you it is so embarrassing and difficult to know what to say to people. I would love to wear a sign or this costume you look brill well done :)
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