Comment by Catherine on December 2, 2010 at 9:25am

I'm not sure about guys' wigs, infact.. I'm not sure about any! this is my first time looking into any and it's very scary so far. I know I need to tell my friends because obviously they're going to notice a difference, I'm with them like every day! and the people at my job as well. I'm going to try and tell a couple today, I'm just going to start it off with "well I have to tell you something, and I'll start from the beginning.... a few years ago I noticed my hair started coming out more and more... and then I saw a spot, I went to the Dr. etc..." and just explain exactly what the process was. I'm not worried about them not supporting me, I mean what's someone going to say after you tell the story that you can't help it and there's no cure, they're not going to be like "ew, gross.." or "weird", if they're human at all they're going to give you a hug or be relieved and maybe feel good that you trusted them enough to tell them. Here's hoping! I'm on my way to a friends house in an hour..... We shall see how this goes! Good luck Mikael, I think you should try to tell them. I still can't find the words and haven't for two years... but now it's to the point where I have to so I'm hoping they'll just come out once I initiate a conversation!

Comment by r d on December 2, 2010 at 3:20pm

i'm in the same situation , i've had aa off and on since i was 4 and now i'm 30 . I have finally gotten to the point in the last month that I can't hide it any more so i've made an appointment to get a great wig and and appointment to get drunk with a couple of friends and let them loose on my head with a razor............2 days to go and i'm freaking out a bit, what hair i do have is very long so i'm going to be pretty sad to get rid of it. Actually the thing that i'm most worried about is what my partners family will think........we are going to stay with them for a week over christmas ,will they think i'm wierd ?
Anyway I'm sure we will both feel very relieved once we have done it and have taken the power back, there will be no need for the constant worry of patches showing through. I've got a lot of people on my side and i'm sure if you tell your close friends you will too......hey do what i'm doing and let them shave your head it should become something fun and cool not something gross or embarassing :-)

Comment by Kim E on December 2, 2010 at 9:36pm

Hi Catherine,

I have AA as well and just recently cut my waist length hair (or what was left of it anyways!) off very short. I have a wig that I wear because the spots are so big, I can't hide them and like you, my hair is constantly falling out. With my hair short, it is easier to get underneath my wig. The wig that I have looks pretty much like my hair used to, so it has been a little bit easier to adjust to. Maybe that might be a good first step for you, before going all out and shaving it. I am getting closer and closer to that step too, so I can empathize with exactly how you feel! I'm with Rosanne though...if I shave my head, I'm handing the razor to my boys and letting them have fun! Only an handful of people in my life know about my AA, but I am slowly getting the courage to tell people. Mostly everyone I told reacted with a hug and offers of encouragement and I wish the same for you! Regardless of how you choose to proceed, you are a beautiful lady, with an amazing smile and will look gorgerous no matter what!! Sending you big hugs of encouragement and support :)

Comment by Catherine on December 3, 2010 at 1:01am

Thanks so much for all your kind words Rosanne and Kim! I told a few friends today, they were really supportive, they hugged me ( I told them separately- 4 in total) and all were really glad I trusted them enough to tell them, even if it has taken me this long! I'm leaving for Christmas break from University in 12 days and hope to make an appointment while I'm home. I need something semi-fast because the hiding part is getting harder as more hair keeps falling out, I don't have many hats, just a few winter ones.... maybe I should look into that haha. I hope you guys are doing well! This site has helped me so much already... I went from noone except my mother and father knowing to all of my roommates and one other best friend, all within a week of being back on here. I'm so appreciative.

Comment by Natalie on December 6, 2010 at 9:09pm

Hi Catherine! I felt like I was reading my own story from 2 years ago when I read your blog! It is a incredibly difficult decision to make about whether or not you are going to shave your head. I also had gotten to the point where I was having to check that my bobby pins were in just right and that my hair was parted a certain way so that my bald spots weren't showing. Going out on a windy day? No way! Going for a swim? Absolutely not. Those situations presented a chance that my bald spots would almost certainly be visible, so I tried to avoid those things as much as possible. My advice to you would be that if you feel that your bald spots and your fear of them showing are starting to get in the way of your daily life activities, then you maybe should consider shaving your hair. Personally, the "Big Shave" was the BEST decision I have made in regards to my alopecia. I took back control. I looked my hair loss in the face and screamed "You WILL NOT take over my life! I will continue to live and be happy, even without you in my life!" I am the absolutely happiest I have ever been as a bald woman. Don't get me wrong, it took years of denial, and then finally that acceptance to reach the point I am at now. This year was my 10 year anniversary of having alopecia (and my second year of being bald), and it feels good to know that life goes on, even without your hair. Take time to think about shaving your head, and definitely feel free to ask me any questions! Keep on smiling :) -Natalie

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