I am excited for it to be one week from today. I'll have been "bald" for a full 24-hours by then. Its funny that its been two weeks or so since I noticed my spots got so bad that its time for me to take down what's left of my hair. I decided to go back to my hometown, New York City to my hairdresser of over twenty years to buzz my hair off. It may seem like I'm making a big deal or ritual of all this, but, it is a big deal. I was diagnosed with alopecia areata 18 years ago. Its been slow going. Spots appear, they grow back, another spot appears and its been this way since, all the while the spots got bigger. As I mentioned in previous blogs, I'm a natural brunette bordering on black colored hair and I took to dying my hair blonde; it helped the spots to blend better. They finally stopped blending. It also seemed like within the span of the past two weeks, more hair has fallen out, broken off. Perhaps the follicles know, and feel comfortable enough finally letting go. Perhaps this is a feeble attempt on my part to understand or make sense of this alopecia areata, this "autioimmune disease" that no doctor can explain where it came from, why it happens and no one can cure. Fortunately, its not something that makes us "sick" like cancer, although the depression one can develop as a result can be as crippling and almost take your life away if you let it. It was difficult years ago seeing myself lose my hair. I will guess since it has taken so long to fall out, I had time to live my life, feel comfortable in my own skin, love myself enough to accept this. No doubt, while I am handling this, I anticipate some sort of "melt-down" which is probably part of this transition. I guess there will be a mourning to realize I won't have my own hair anymore. A new phase; I welcome it.

I have been telling the few people that are friends and colleagues that I will look different the next time they see me. I am a musician (singer/songwriter), my schedule is open in this next week and I don't have another gig until two weeks from now. I am happy to say that most people I've told that I will be bald say that it doesn't matter, that its still me and that I'll probably look awesome. I hope they're right and I appreciate their positivity.

Here is a photo of me as a kid. This photo was taken before my Mom was ready to straighten my hair. She would straighten my hair with a lye based solution. I'll bet this has contributed to my condition, although I'm not sure. I have a twin sister, her hair would get straightened too, and she does not have alopecia areata:


Weird to see such thick, long hair and now have clumps. This next photo was me last year, on stage at the World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, still looking ok, hiding my spots:





The below photo was from 2008; you can't even tell I had major spots; mostly on the top of my head. Being 6 feet tall, most folks don't see the very top of my head; I was lucky. I made a point of never "bowing" after performances so no one could see:




This is where my hair was two weeks ago, and its gotten worse since:



It may seem weird that I'm showing all of this, but I think its part of the "process" that will hopefully help me move forward. Next week I will post my Royal Baldness. I will feel my feelings and I will look for support here and with those I'm lucky enough to get it from. I am glad for Alopecia World; would not have managed these past two weeks without it.

Onward and upward.