Trouble with other peoples acceptance

I have never really known anyone else with alopecia and i guess its really hard.
Whats even harder though is dates, most people said they would go on a date with me if one thing, i had hair.
Im not comfortable with wearing wigs and i want people to like me for me and not just my hair. How can i get people to accept me for ME?

And no...even though i have had this for 13 years i still wish i had hair...guess i cant accept it

Views: 31

Comment by Kris Fenchel on August 11, 2009 at 6:36pm
First, surrounding yourself with true friends who love you for who you are is the most important thing you can do. It is so hard when you can feel the eyes burning a hole through you, or you can hear the whispers and giggles from the shallow people who walk amongst us. To the person who told you that they would go out with you if you had hair.....tell them to PISS OFF!!! What makes them so perfect??? I agree with the previous post, coming to grips with your skull gets bit easier the older you get. Focus on yourself, do things that you like to do, have fun with you friends. Don't be ashamed of who you are. I found that I made some of my best friends through this disorder, I found true blue people who would stand by me no matter what. As far as finding love, that will happen...always when you are least expecting it...don't go searching for it. Love yourself and surround yourself with supporting friends and that special person will find you and see you for who you are....not for how you look.
Comment by Tallgirl on August 11, 2009 at 9:20pm
Which "you" are you talking about...the one who smiles and is confident NO MATTER WHAT, or the one who looks worried, serious or hunched over? We all have the potential to end up as one or the other in our presentation to the world. Which one would you approach?
Comment by David on August 11, 2009 at 9:25pm
I couldn't agree more with the comments that Kris has written and it difficult for me to add something additional of real value to you. But here goes! Life is way too short to be worried about what other people think. Believe me, I had one of the weirdest worries a person could have; my last name! It all seemed so embarressing. There are two people who made my amazing turmaround. One was my wife, who I know loves me but made this incredibly funny remark ... "I will be so glad when we are finally married and I can have your last name; mine stinks!" haha ... And one more friend from this site who I correspond with (albeit very rare) said in an email, "I love your last name." All of this seems silly, doesn't it? But it mattered to me. And I think this matters to you in much the same way. SO what if others have the wrong perspective about you! They never took time to know you and find out you are a cheerful fun-loving person. There will be a time when that right person will come around and you will both see it in your eyes! Take care of yourself and have fun!
Comment by JeffreySF on August 12, 2009 at 12:16am
Hi Ashley,
Do you accept you for who you are? This is the biggest hurdle. Negative experiences with potential mates are "Out the door Babe"
You should really meet some other alopecians to gain some perspective into their lives and how they cope. You will meet some of the most awesome friends ever. I know it will be a rewarding experience.

Comment by Rumpleteazer on August 12, 2009 at 12:40am
Most people don't have an inkling what its like to really struggle, wether with Alopecia or anything else. Some of us learn younger i guess. Just don't validate their shallowness, it will catch up with them eventually.


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