I have always loved having my hair cut and styled. From the exotic, yummy scents of shampoos and potions, to the total luxury of a scalp massage, to the feeling of sitting back and being pampered, I have wallowed in it all. Now it's more of a pain because I am anxious and uneasy.

At home, shampooing my hair is no longer the delight it once was either. I wash my hair in the shower, and I used to love to stand in the warmth and feel the dirt disappearing. (Since I live on a farm with horses, sheep, poultry, dogs and cats dirt is a real issue!) I always bought delicious shampoos for the pure pleasure of it.

Today it's not so much fun. When I shampoo, I can't help but feel I'm separating more damaged hairs from a non-nurturing follicle. AND...this is the worst part...my doctor recommended a shampoo to lather in, leave 10 minutes or so, and wash out.

Pardon me, but it's made of coal tar. It smells like a bottom inch of a flat Guinness beer in which people have been jettisoning cigarette butts all night. It is so odious it takes all the pleasure out of washing my hair. And the odor wafts around me for about an hour after my shower, even if I follow up with a scented conditioner.

I realize I'm just whining about this. No big deal. But it is one thing in my life diminished by the onset of alopeica. I plan to look for a solution for myself so I can share it with others.

It's a good life.