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What exactly does it mean to deal with Alopecia????
I have to believe this truly a subjective question and everyone's answer would be different. Coming to terms with one's alopecia I am sure is a personal reflection where each of us come to different conclusions of what it is to live with alopecia. Having chatted with different folks here on this site, we have all had such different experiences depending on our age and when we first lost our hair and the degree to which it is gone. And then there is our unique personalities that push through all of it and have a major affect on how we deal with it individually.
Yet what does it really mean to say I have come to terms with it? Lets face it, as much as we individually come to terms with alopecia, the world around us has not. And I would never suggest that this is a reason to roll over and not live your life. But nonetheless, its there. I have been with alopecia a long time and never let it get in my way. But about three months ago, a very good friend tells me that I have a hard time getting clients because I wear a wig. Wow. There it was. I had spent the better part of my life kind of ignoring the fact that I had au and living my life. Yet there it was. She has been encouraging me to loose the wig altogether.
I recently ended a 6 year relationship. Towards the very end of this relationship I told her that my friend was encouraging me to loose the wig. And my one time fiance says that she would be less embarassed to be out in public with me if I did. There it was again.
Of course we all have had our individual experiences that remind us of what it means to have alopecia. But what does it mean to have come to terms with it? Or what does it mean to be living with it? Or what does it mean to not have yet come to terms with it?
Yet what does it really mean to say I have come to terms with it? Lets face it, as much as we individually come to terms with alopecia, the world around us has not. And I would never suggest that this is a reason to roll over and not live your life. But nonetheless, its there. I have been with alopecia a long time and never let it get in my way. But about three months ago, a very good friend tells me that I have a hard time getting clients because I wear a wig. Wow. There it was. I had spent the better part of my life kind of ignoring the fact that I had au and living my life. Yet there it was. She has been encouraging me to loose the wig altogether.
I recently ended a 6 year relationship. Towards the very end of this relationship I told her that my friend was encouraging me to loose the wig. And my one time fiance says that she would be less embarassed to be out in public with me if I did. There it was again.
Of course we all have had our individual experiences that remind us of what it means to have alopecia. But what does it mean to have come to terms with it? Or what does it mean to be living with it? Or what does it mean to not have yet come to terms with it?
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Comment by Teresa on February 8, 2009 at 5:42pm
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Dear Franck, I have no answer... I live day after day with it, but hey I don't think I will ever "come to terms" with it. Hum... I don't see myself being ever happy with baldness, to tell the truth, and it is even worse to me, because I don't have nice facial features so I may go bald, nor I have anything that may distract from my balding head, and I found out that I don't stand very much the wigs! I'm quite done for... ^__^
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Comment by JeffreySF on February 8, 2009 at 6:51pm
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Hi Frank,
I have come to terms with my alopecia. I gained true acceptance through this site and the NAAF Conference.
I dont want to sound like a broken record but meeting people at the NAAF conference really changed my life
Sharing time with others like yourself is truly an eye opening experience.
I attend local support group meetings every other month. Some of us meet for pizza and beer before or go out afterwards.
One of my Alopecia Buddy and I go to get our eyebrows tattood together with a lunch beforehand. We call it Bald Boyz Do Lunch (girls can and have come too)
Hope this helps,
Jeff
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Comment by Frank on February 8, 2009 at 9:38pm
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Thanks Jeff. I think you are right. Part of dealing ir coming to terms with au is being able to discuss it and share experiences. I have never been to a support group meeting and nver been to the NAAF conference, but this site in such a short amount of time has brought me further than 37 years of dealing with it on my own. The people here are great, and I see some very close relationshops already starting grow. This site has also allowed me to share my thoughts with others that can understand where I am coming from.
I appreciate your comments and appreciate those that have talked with me and allowed me to vent.
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Comment by Jill on February 9, 2009 at 6:10pm
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Frank I totally agree. I have come farther in the last 2 weeks after joining this site than I have in the last 15 years. Being open about AU seems to be the best medicine in coping. Although it is something I still struggle with 15 years later, it is something I hope to work on.
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Comment by Lori Black on February 9, 2009 at 8:52pm
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Frank, Over the course of 24 yrs dealing with AA now AU for the last 8 yrs, I have found that only a lot of faith and a ton of personal acceptance have even remotely helped me. I spent alot of years trying to hide it and avoid it too! Having others in your life that accept it helps!! I just recently became comfortable looking in the mirror at the "bald" me. So, I guess the amount of time it takes is relative, just that it takes time...Blessings to you!!
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