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Comment by Jessica Hoschouer on October 8, 2013 at 9:06pm

WOW!!! People can be so rude, but we just need to push through the hard times knowing that better ones are in front of us.

Comment by Dena on May 16, 2013 at 10:23pm

Unfortunately there are jerks out there and I agree sometimes you just walk off to keep from crying. I did this several times when my daughter first started losing all her hair. Later I would think of some witty comeback and think I wish I could have kept it together enough to think of it earlier when the incident was happening. I remember being at a dress rehearsal at our church and having someone ask me if my daughter could at least wear a hat to make the other kids feel more comfortable. I was shocked. I just said no and walked off and went to the bathroom. Luckily nothing like this has happened in front of my daughter. I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to control myself if it did. But because of this I want her to be able to explain things if she is in a situation where someone is asking questions about her lack of hair. I don't want her to just freeze and I don't want her to feel like she has to make any one else feel more comfortable. Those people are just jerks who are lacking in compassion. I really feel sorry for them. I really wish we didn't have to explain her hair loss with strangers, but I try to act like it isn't any big deal to explain it to people. I keep it to myself how much I hate the intrusion in our private lives, because I know realistically people are going to ask. Luckily this happened to her at such a young age, I think she can probably talk about it easier than someone in their teens.

Comment by stillshannon on May 16, 2013 at 9:30pm

I am in my 30's and have had AA for going on 5 years and in the past two months it has progressed to AU - no brows, no lashes, nada - and I deal with it, some days are better than others as with everything and everyone.

I walk my dogs every morning, and the 'bravest' thing I do (for me, for now) is I only wear a ball cap, no wig. It's easier, and I'm working on being 'ok' with looking & feeling that way.

A man I see a few times a week also walking his dog, was with his grandson today and he stopped as we always do for our dogs to say hello, and he asks me this: 'What have you done to yourself?'. I had NO idea at first what he was eluding to, so I was confused and replied questioningly 'Done to myself?' and as I said it, it dawned on me - he then said "Yes to your hair, why did you get rid of all of it?' (he has never seen me with hair, so no idea why he thought I had shaved it)

I was so caught off guard, and offended I didn't even know what to say so I just said, I haven't 'done' anything and walked away.

People don't realize how insensitive they are being, I certainly didn't reply to him asking him what he had done to himself and then when he looked questioningly at me responded, well you're so fat - why? because it's just damn rude.

So not knowing how to react, I cried - yep that was it - just tears and some love from my dogs. Having this has made me somewhat jaded with the public and their treatment of strangers, but has hopefully also raised my awareness and I know I am more mindful of what I say now.

Comment by ASRN on May 16, 2013 at 8:45am

Cool!

Comment by Fatimah on May 16, 2013 at 8:45am

youre such a good grandparent to ur grandkids :) sometimes thats all kids need-love & support...

Comment by grandma concerns on May 16, 2013 at 8:14am

On the upside.. new update.. my gd has gotten a backbone and has taken upon herself to voice to others that she is beautiful! Hurrayyyyyyy! I couldn't be happier! She is going through a messy time with her mother and father fighting over child possession but she is staying strong, and I am so very proud of her! She and her sister are leaning on us (her grandparents) who live close to them and are talking a lot to us about their problems. So cool! Thank you everyone for your help, I have told her all of your suggestions! Don't know what I would do without this site sometimes. Your all such soldiers!

Comment by ASRN on May 16, 2013 at 12:00am

Wow - I am appalled that someone would actually remove her wig! That's like taking off someone's clothes! Who does that?! Anyway - I have found that MOST people are more tactful and generally kind. If they are asking questions I think it is generally out of concern or curiosity. I would teach her to be able to explain her condition well to others and be very up front with people she DOES know so she has support no matter WHO is with her so she can have back up when she deals with someone so rude. I am so sad when a young girl has to deal with this kind of thing. I know it is cliche' but it's just so unfair.

Comment by KarenGinny - Iowa, US on May 14, 2013 at 12:22pm

That was terribly rude of that woman to pull off her wig in a very public place and I hope it doesn't happen again. Hopefully most people who make comments or ask about it are doing it out of concern, but there will always be those rude strangers who don't even think about what they are saying and don't care about the truth. I have partial alopecia around the front of my head and try to hide it, but do worry about someone pointing it out to me in public. I'm not sure how I would react, since I would probably be in shock! I'd like to say, "I have alopecia; what's your problem?".

Comment by Cindie on May 13, 2013 at 3:10pm

Your daughter is lovely, and has the most beautiful blue eyes....Understood about "people you know"....please lovingly prepare your daughter for "people you don't know".....

Comment by Dena on May 13, 2013 at 1:43pm

Cindie..I agree that some people make "curious inappropriate comments", but I don't think they are the majority. Especially with people we know. At my daughters age I don't think she could grasp the concept of someone like that, so I may be misleading her sometimes but I think it helps her deal and believe that most people are concerned. If this were happening to someone else that we know I would probably assume the same thing and be concerned like most people. Even though I have a daughter with Alopecia, I still see someone in town bald and my first instinct is to think chemo. There are just more people going through chemo that people with Alopecia. I agree with make sure they know that it isn't contagious.

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