Comment by ASRN on May 16, 2013 at 8:45am

Cool!

Comment by stillshannon on May 16, 2013 at 9:30pm

I am in my 30's and have had AA for going on 5 years and in the past two months it has progressed to AU - no brows, no lashes, nada - and I deal with it, some days are better than others as with everything and everyone.

I walk my dogs every morning, and the 'bravest' thing I do (for me, for now) is I only wear a ball cap, no wig. It's easier, and I'm working on being 'ok' with looking & feeling that way.

A man I see a few times a week also walking his dog, was with his grandson today and he stopped as we always do for our dogs to say hello, and he asks me this: 'What have you done to yourself?'. I had NO idea at first what he was eluding to, so I was confused and replied questioningly 'Done to myself?' and as I said it, it dawned on me - he then said "Yes to your hair, why did you get rid of all of it?' (he has never seen me with hair, so no idea why he thought I had shaved it)

I was so caught off guard, and offended I didn't even know what to say so I just said, I haven't 'done' anything and walked away.

People don't realize how insensitive they are being, I certainly didn't reply to him asking him what he had done to himself and then when he looked questioningly at me responded, well you're so fat - why? because it's just damn rude.

So not knowing how to react, I cried - yep that was it - just tears and some love from my dogs. Having this has made me somewhat jaded with the public and their treatment of strangers, but has hopefully also raised my awareness and I know I am more mindful of what I say now.

Comment by Dena on May 16, 2013 at 10:23pm

Unfortunately there are jerks out there and I agree sometimes you just walk off to keep from crying. I did this several times when my daughter first started losing all her hair. Later I would think of some witty comeback and think I wish I could have kept it together enough to think of it earlier when the incident was happening. I remember being at a dress rehearsal at our church and having someone ask me if my daughter could at least wear a hat to make the other kids feel more comfortable. I was shocked. I just said no and walked off and went to the bathroom. Luckily nothing like this has happened in front of my daughter. I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to control myself if it did. But because of this I want her to be able to explain things if she is in a situation where someone is asking questions about her lack of hair. I don't want her to just freeze and I don't want her to feel like she has to make any one else feel more comfortable. Those people are just jerks who are lacking in compassion. I really feel sorry for them. I really wish we didn't have to explain her hair loss with strangers, but I try to act like it isn't any big deal to explain it to people. I keep it to myself how much I hate the intrusion in our private lives, because I know realistically people are going to ask. Luckily this happened to her at such a young age, I think she can probably talk about it easier than someone in their teens.

Comment by Jessica Hoschouer on October 8, 2013 at 9:06pm

WOW!!! People can be so rude, but we just need to push through the hard times knowing that better ones are in front of us.

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