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Where do you go from here?
i started noticing about 5 years ago that the hair at my temples started thinning out and breaking off. the pieces will grow to about 2" as of now. then, in july of this year, i started noticing the rapid thinning of the hair on the crown of my head. i went to the dermatologist hoping it would be stress related, but i had a gut feeling it would be genetic. ive always had higher levels of testosterone, so i kind of knew. the dermatologist said that it was, in fact, genetic. androgenic alopecia, or just plain ol' female pattern hair loss are the technical terms.
i was pretty sad for a few weeks and cried a bit too. ive always hated having hair, becuz its such a pain to deal with, but i still appreciate having it there.
i decided that id shave one side to start with, to see how it is. since the whole one side shave thing is a current trend i thought this would be the best time to try it out.
i felt really great after i did it. i totally forgot about my thinning crown and i was really excited about how much i didnt care.
then i took a picture of my hair to send to a friend. in the picture my thinning hairline stuck out more to me than my newly shaved patch.
now the hair loss is really starting to set in. i can see that eventually ill have to shave my entire head becuz the top of my head will be so thin.
im all about being "real" and it goes the same for my looks.
i hardly ever wear make-up or do my hair. i love how women look with bald or shaved heads, but i dont think i have to face shape for it.
i started looking at wigs online. the options are overwhelming for a first timer. first theres synthetic or human hair. then the cost $100 to $1200. then its lace front, partial lace and whatever else crap they have. then how do you wear them? do u glue them or just use a stopper so it doesnt slip off? do u keep a the hair buzzed or shaved to the skin? i always wear my hair up, becuz i hate when its on my face, so that option goes out the window.
my complex is that with wanting to be so "real" with my appearance, i think id feel like the wig was me being fake. i know it sounds ridiculous but thats just how i feel about it.
if you start dating someone, how and when do you tell them?
all these questions have been racing through my mind becuz of this stupid hair loss.
i want to pout about it, stomp my feet and jump up and down about how it isnt fair. but...i know that wont change a thing.
i get that its normal,natural process that comes with aging for some of us, it just our society thats made it such a big deal.
if it was never made into this devastating thing, id probably feel fine rocking thin hair.
so here i am, right before the crossroad. something that will essentially change the person i am and a hurdle in my life that ill always remember. i know its just "hair", but as a woman, i cant help but miss it.
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Comment by Michjo57 on October 8, 2012 at 2:38pm
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I have the same issue with temples and crown. How do you attach the extensions? I wonder if mine is too thin to take the extensions.
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Comment by Milka Stepien on October 9, 2012 at 2:43am
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I went through different stages and I really understand you. First I cut my hair short, then I cut everything off except for my fringe, then I had to start shaving because I had patches, finally I even had to cut the fringe and go completely bald. I wore headscarves and wigs. Right now I don't wear wigs because I don't like them, so it's mainly scarves or barehead. When I still wore wigs, I really hated that moment when I would meet someone - whether it was someone I was dating or friends - and I would try to figure out whether they had already guessed or whether I have to tell them and when I should. After a few years, I lost my eyebrows and finally my eyelashes (that's the last time I cried because of the hair loss). I didn't use to wear makeup before. After I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes I started to, because otherwise my face looks bland and expressionless. After 17 years I've figured things out for myself and have my own way of coping and have learnt to accept myself, but I know what a difficult path it was. And I think it really is an individual choice and all we can do here is support you and hope you find a way that you find comfortable with coping with it. I don't think there's any one method. But I went through it without knowing anybody else who had such problems. I know I would have appreciated back then someone understanding how difficult it is and talking to me about the choices I have to make and REALLY understanding why it was an issue and what it really meant to me. So keep your head up, don't let the issues pull you down. Experiment - find options that you feel comfortable with. Go to a wigshop and try on different styles and options. Try the headscarves. And with people - people that are worth the effort will understand and love you for who you are. Not everyone will. But those who don't are simply not worth the effort. It will take a while, but you'll manage. We simply have to :)
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Comment by Leslie Mader on October 9, 2012 at 9:11pm
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I love your reply Milka. I too have lost all my hair on my scalp and body - 1 yr ago - this past August. Dealt with AA for 5 yrs then it turned into AU. I lost my eyebrows and my eyelashes, but now my eyelashe are back, but my lower lashes are white - but so what. my hair i get on my scalp is white also but i still have lots of bald areas. i do wear a vacuum wig from New Freedom and I love it - its worth every cent to me. I may some day say "screw it" and not wear a wig. Its a difficult and traumatic disease to go through and I will probably never accept it. You have to deal with it the best way you know how. But you have to have your good days and bad days - like us all - i still melt down and cry for my hair loss. I just explained to my husband the other day when i had my melt down - "I have to mentally prepare myself everyday that I have no hair". It's mentally exhausting and depressing and at times I just have to give in and cry and cry hard!! Posting and reading on this site can help you! :)
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