Why are you staring? You've never seen a pink elephant before?

Okay, on Laura's discussion "Is it time to shave?", Mary said this:

"I finally realized that I had a choice between suffering physically (being miserable and hot) or suffering emotionally/mentally (people staring, not able to be anonymous)."

I immediately keyed in on "suffering emotionally/mentally (people staring, not able to be anonymous)" because I was having this EXACT argument with myself last week. (Yes, I do argue with myself. I've been told that as long as I don't answer myself, that I'm not crazy.)

What started this argument with myself? Well, I finally received the wig I ordered online. I only ordered it because I feel that shaving may be imminent and I wanted to be prepared for that eventuality. So I told myself, what would it hurt to start practicing. Seemed like a good idea.

Well, I receive it and it's cute, nice color, nice style. It doesn't really fit so well since my unprocessed hair is rather puffy, but I figure once it's trimmed/shaved, the wig will fit much nicer and I would feel much better about the entire matter. This is what I've been telling myself, sooooo why am I not believing it?

I just felt so weird when I had it on. Not at all like me. I felt so . . . conspicuous.

So how do I pull this off without feeling like the pink elephant in the middle of the room? Is that even possible? It feels as if sticking out like a sore thumb has been the story of my life: lazy eye in 1st grade, first kid with a bra in the 4th grade, only Black kid/person in the room/class/office, only female in the electronics lab, only female in the free weight section of the gym, etc., etc. It seems I've been sticking out like a sore thumb and getting stared at since I arrived on this planet. (Why yes, I do have a tin-foil hat!. Why do you ask? Bwahahahaaaa)

Okay, it's been established that I'm going to stick out in some form or fashion, be it real or imagined. So what difference does it make if I'm being stared at because I'm bald or because the "hair" on my head feels like it belongs on a completely different person, or Barbie as the case may be? And as Mary summed up perfectly, why should I even have to care? Why am I getting stressed over this? Being stared at is not new.

Hey, I'm a mid-forties, single, nerd with a woefully underfunded retirement fund. That's plenty of drama without getting my hair involved.

Views: 14

Comment by Angie P on November 9, 2010 at 11:21pm
You guys are so amazing! Thanks for the kind responses during my rantings this past week. :)

*_______* at "(fill in a slightly smaller animal of a less obtrusive color)"

I've received new referrals to a stylist and a wig shop, so hopefully I'll make some progress this weekend.
Comment by kastababy on November 10, 2010 at 10:00am
I have to say Angie, that I've been ambivalent about wearing wigs, scarves, and hats for as long as I've lived with alopecia (as of Monday, make that 28 YEARS!!!)

I have to say the end of my ambivalence finally came last year when I left my ex. After being together for 6 years and having him put me down constantly for the last year, I determined that I wasn't going to give a damn about it anymore. So even after my mother spent $400 on a new wig that she thought I would love, I can honestly say I've worn it maybe 5 times -- and the only times I wear scarves these days are when the temperature drops below freezing.

As time has passed, I am slowly learning to love I how I look bald. As I gain more and more confidence in this look, I get more and more compliments about the look, and after the summer we had here in Tennessee, the stares get are more envious than malicious. I don't feel like a purple sheep or a pink elephant (although I wish someone would send me those in FarmVille!), I just feel like me -- and that's the best feeling anyone can have!
Comment by Mary on November 10, 2010 at 10:09am
Purple sheep - that's it!

I just feel like me, too (except for my recent travel experience).

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