Alopecia World
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Being OK
I would like to hear how other women was able to go in public without headgear and being ok. I know no one with AA, AT or AU, so I feel like an outcast. I'm kind of depressed at this time. Acceptance is what I hearfrom family is the key and it no big deal, it's easy for them to say. they all have their hair. I don't want them to feel sorry for me, just understand my feelings.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Angie W. on
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Deborah, I am in the process of getting up enough nerve to show the public my baldness. I have had AA on and off for 19 years but have now been completely bald for 10 years straight and have always worn wigs. Although I've worn many different wigs over the years, I'd worn the same one (a vacuume wig) for six straight years up until this year when it finally saw it's last day and I had to find a new one (lace front). This was a big transition not only because it was a different type of wig but the color and length were totally different, which of course made many people (whom didn't know of my AA) wonder...then I found this site and after reading many people's stories and reading Leslie Ann Butler's book "If your hair falls out keep dancing" I've gotten the nerve to change wigs from day to day without worrying what people think about it. One day my hair is short, the next long, one day it's dark, the next day lighter in color. I've had some people ask me about this and I've had the chance to tell them of my AA. My next goal is to show my baldness in public and all I can say is I think that tackling these things with baby steps is what will work best for me. First step for me was changing wigs often, then the next will be going bald in public and then the next will be getting a tattoo on my head...no telling what will come after that! I'm scared to death about it though, but with the support of my family and friends I know that I will get thru it and may like it so much that wigs will just be for fun. Who knows...I do know that this site has already helped me so much in the short time I've been here, so keep reading and know you are not alone even if you don't know any other Alopecians personally. I have always had a hard time accepting myself even before AA came along as I have a weight problem, so acceptance will be a big hurdle for me as well. I hope this helps you even though I'm still in the same boat as you are. God bless you~Angie
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Angela, I designed my own, basically it's the letter "A" with wings...nothing too fancy or flashy but it's a start. I'm planning to have it put on the back of my head, who knows what else might happen, I have to get there first~ha! I have seen Dotty's head, not sure I could get that much done so I'll start small, simple and slow.
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Permalink Reply by Deborah on
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Thanks Angie, this is a big help. This site has made a big difference already.
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Permalink Reply by Carol on
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Although you don't want to hear that acceptance is the key from your family because you feel they don't understand what you're dealing with, I will tell you that it is! I've had alopecia for 30 years! Going through school was harsh, kids can be vicious which is something you can appreciate missing. Even after school, entering adulthood I hid under my wig and it wasn't until 2001 that I could go out without a wig. What changed?? I went online and found a support network for alopecians and saw that there were so many incredible people with alopecia! I so much wanted to be as free and accepting of my alopecia as they were but I had to change my point of view on alopecia before this could occur. I am not alopecia, I just have alopecia and it has altered my views in a positive way that made me a better person. When I felt better about myself in this manner, I was able to leave the house without my wig and not worry too much about where anyone was looking. Surprisingly, no one really said anything and I figured along the way that if someone is looking at you funny, all it takes is a smile. They will either turn away or smile and maybe even aproach you. People ask all kinds of things but there are forums here for that when you get to that point. Don't rush anything though, you'll know when you're ready! :)
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Permalink Reply by Zoey on
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Carol~you are so awesome.....
I have not went outsidewith anything as of yet! I say this because one day hopefully I can.
Heck, about 4-5 years ago it was hard to go out in just a scarf.... I did it and after the stress wore off.. It felt wonderful!
So, as I said.. One day I hopefully will be able to go out without anything.. But just me.. (Well, and my clothes of course, dont want to get arrested)
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Thanks Carol for taking the time to read and reply , I will not rush, I'll take my time.
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Permalink Reply by Lorena on
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Well the first time I walked out with a bandana rolled up and tied around my head and walked down the street and no cars ran into the ditch, I decided that I was'nt that important. My bein happy and comfortable in my own skin is what made others comfortable. Smile ,walk proudly, you are an unique indivual and be happy. God only made so many perfect heads the rest he put hair on. He just must have changed his mind about us. hee hee!
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hehe....Thanks Lorena, that put a smile on my face. For some reason talking with people who share Alopecia....feels different in a GOOOOOOD kinda way
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Permalink Reply by Linda on
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Hey Deborah, check out my page, I shaved my head two months ago and I love it! The new found freedom is awesome and very liberating.
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Thanks Linda for inviting me to check out your page. I enjoyed it very much.
Your girls are beautiful. And your attitude rules. I did try shaving my entire head once and the different color of my scalp and face freaked me out, so I was a slave to my lace front wig once again. The tape and glue is bothering me so much, I'm ready to do the shave thing again, I'm totally bald at the top of my head and parting with the bottom hairs is scary. BTW you are a beautiful and wear you naturalness well.
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Thanks Deborah, about the scalp being a different shade than your face, I had to wear a self tanner for about a month to get my head the color of my face, in the end, it worked out. You can't tell on my pics, but my head is lighter than my face. Don't be a slave to your wig, I was and it stifled who I was. Parting with my hair was scary but not having to wear a wig is worth it. Take care and stay strong, my beautiful sister!
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I remmeber the first time I walked down the street all natural, ...no one came out of their houses to stare no cars ran up on the sidewalk and there was a welcome smile at the end of my walk to my freinds. The feeling of the wind on my scalp was fabulous. Hold your head up high and be happy in your own skin. You'll love the feeling!
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