he said that i would be beautiul with any color hair as long as im not bald

I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and im lucky to have a head of hair. But earlier this year i dyed it blonde, and my hair started to get patch's. Well today I told him im dying it back brown, and asked him if it looked bad, he said ill b e beautiful with any color hair as long as im not "bald" i hate that word, i dont use that word... and i havent told him a bout it. Im scared to because i was mocked so bad in highschool when i had to wear a wig for a couple months. I need advice please.

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Hi Alison

Just from what you have said do you think that your boyfriend has no idea that alopecia areata exists and the 'bald' comment was something he would never have said if he had known, especially in discussion with you.

I guess I always think that people mean the best - to me he was saying I love you anyway blonde, dark (and if he'd known about your condition he may have said bald as well). Do you think that possible. You know him better than I, but my feeling is he will just love you. He knows you and if you open up to him telling him of your deepest fears I believe he will be there for you. I always think of my husbands attitude when I am asked questions like this and when I'm worried about our daughter he says to me, do you see her - she's gorgeous - therefore that's what I think your boyfriend is thinking your gorgeous but he just doesn't know the full story.

I don't know if that will help, but I hope so.

Well I'm not much on giving advice on relationships. I believe that everyone has their definition of beauty and that's okay. But your boyfriend having made that statement almost implies that you are only beautiful with hair. I'm sure that's not true.

I believe hair is just like wall paper trimming. It's something that usually grows from our head and we've been able to create different looks over the years. Hats can help creat different looks too.

I also believe in owning my feelings and it sounds like you may've felt rejected by his statement. If that's so, then maybe you want to explore that in conversation. What's a relationship if you can't communicate?
Hi Allison,

I agree with Rose-Marie below. I think it sounds like he was trying to be reassuring about you changing your hair colour. From a lot of people's experience, my own included, alopecia can take our partners by surprise and they may find it hard to deal with immediately but it's not going to change how they really feel about you, with or without hair, in the long run.



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