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So sad...
The past couple days have been horrible.
Ten years ago when my hair first started falling out, I went through so much. I had people making fun of me and calling me names. I dreaded going to school or anywhere for that matter. I took a leave of absense from my part time job and withdrew from school- due to the amount of harrassment I was getting.
It took me so long to get where I was a couple of weeks ago. I lived about 4 years happy and being just silly ol me. But, One harsh word from someone took that all away from me. I didnt think it could happen ever again. I thought I was so strong having gone through all that. But, all it took was one word from a loved one that was upset with me. They said to me, "Your Fat & Bald".
Thats all it took. I have been a mess ever since that. How can anyone say something so mean? I am always so nice to people and I do not judge people by the way they look. I get to know them for who they really are.
I am hoping writting this down and getting it off my chest will make me feel better. I hope.. I can feel my depression starting to come back, its not a good feeling. I am in the middle of finishing school- since I dropped out years ago. The last thing I want to do now is ruin my school again. I am going to try and keep my chin up and think happy thoughts.
If anyone out there has some encouraging words. I would love to hear them about now.. :o) I want to get back to my happy self..
Ten years ago when my hair first started falling out, I went through so much. I had people making fun of me and calling me names. I dreaded going to school or anywhere for that matter. I took a leave of absense from my part time job and withdrew from school- due to the amount of harrassment I was getting.
It took me so long to get where I was a couple of weeks ago. I lived about 4 years happy and being just silly ol me. But, One harsh word from someone took that all away from me. I didnt think it could happen ever again. I thought I was so strong having gone through all that. But, all it took was one word from a loved one that was upset with me. They said to me, "Your Fat & Bald".
Thats all it took. I have been a mess ever since that. How can anyone say something so mean? I am always so nice to people and I do not judge people by the way they look. I get to know them for who they really are.
I am hoping writting this down and getting it off my chest will make me feel better. I hope.. I can feel my depression starting to come back, its not a good feeling. I am in the middle of finishing school- since I dropped out years ago. The last thing I want to do now is ruin my school again. I am going to try and keep my chin up and think happy thoughts.
If anyone out there has some encouraging words. I would love to hear them about now.. :o) I want to get back to my happy self..
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by jamie1 on
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Zoey, You just keep going! There are a few mean people everywhere in this world. As my Grandmother used to say, "There's a crack egg in every dozen." Some people act this way as a result of their own emotional disturbance and lack of self esteem. Unable to manage their own pain, they seek to make themselves feel better by injuring someone who they see as vulnerable. I've seen such people stoop so low as to make fun of cancer patients and amputees. Not all mentally disturbed people are in treatment. Stand steady, my dear. Some of us were presented with very special challenges in life. Just keep on walking with your head high and your gaze directly ahead. This way, you will get where you need to go. By not looking downward, you will avoid looking at some of the trash!
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hi
Whoever said that to you has got some major issues themselves and you are way above that. You already know who you are so don't you dare let somebody's bad behavior dictate who you are. You are a beautiful woman with a heap to offer the world. Other's expectations can never really be met, so meet your own.
You will get back to your happy self just know that you are doing your best in a situation which can and often is challenging. Keep smiling and sorting the charf out of the oats. Your doing fine this is just a hiccup which you can move on from.
Rosy
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Permalink Reply by Zoey on
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Thank Rosy :o) Im trying.. I am thinking today is a day of crying all day.. I didnt sleep last night and have a major head ache right now... Just relaly hurt.. I will get back to myself, I must! Right
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Permalink Reply by Debbie on
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Zoey,
I'm very sorry for what you're going through. But I agree, people put other people down when they are not secure and need to feel better about themeselves. That's what bullies do to kids.
It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it just counts on what's going on in the inside. Also, people who say things like that, you don't need to associate youself with them. You're better tha that.
I've had AA since '99 and it tunred into AU in '02. It sucks, but there is nothing we can do. We are not in charge of the hand we're dealt, but how we play it. Hold your head up high and turn your cards into a full house.
I hope you know you're better than that. Take care.
Debbie
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Permalink Reply by Karen on
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ooooohhhhh, Zoey. I am sure that your love one dont mean what he/she said. I guess when we are angry at something, words can be harsh and meant to hurt but in all cases if it is from a love one than it is always base on anger. i bet that that person now is feeling down like you now because they would have realized that they don mean it but because they were angry...it came out that way.
I know that when I get angry at my husband for example...I can say a lot of really mean things too because in my anger I want to make him feel bad. He at times does it to me as well when he is angry too. But at the end of the day, we always feel horrible and always regret our words. We would never mean what we said but just say it because at that moment of anger we just want to make the other person feel down and bad.
Dont let this put you down because it shouldnt.
If you are still feeling less that 100....RETAIL THERAPY
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Hello Zoey
I can truly relate to what your going through. I have had alopecia totalis for years now and it has been a tough experience. My hair started falling out in high school and I was made fun of. I even had some kids try to pull my wig off. The true is that there are always going to be jerks and horrible people in this world. All you can do is keep going and dont let yourself get down because of one person. I was so depressed and angry for a long time and sometimes I still do have people make rude comments about my wigs, but when I start to feel depressed i think to myself hey I am A WARRIOR. If you made it this far there is nothing that can stop me now. I am a student too and I now how it can be. Stay focused on your schoolwork and just know that we love you and are here for you.
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Permalink Reply by Amber Lounder on
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Hi Zoey
First I'd like to say I saw your pics and you are not fat. Actually before I read your SAD post I was envious of your figure after seeing the pics. People are human and make mistakes . Your loved one made a huge one. I'm sure they realize this as well. It might take time ,but forgiveness is the antidote for your SAD. Don't feel bad for you, feel bad for them.
Big hugsxox
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Yea.. I am feeling much better today. Dont get me wrong, its still inside me that it was said. But, I am going to be the better person like you all have said, (Thank you). I think you all are right, I think that person feels so bad about what they have done.
Today, I actually feel like getting in the shower and maybe going for a walk.. I gotta get this weight off me, ya know ... lol
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