Alopecia World
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why is it assumed?
that all bald women are fighting cancer? Everyone just assumes that a woman with no hair has cancer. I'm sick of people assuming I have cancer! I don't have cancer.
I just get so frustrated with this. People ask me ALL the time if I have cancer, or worse, just ASSUME i do. Has anyone else experienced this? What do you do?
I just get so frustrated with this. People ask me ALL the time if I have cancer, or worse, just ASSUME i do. Has anyone else experienced this? What do you do?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by emily on
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yes, i do have this experience with people assuming i am getting chemo or have some illness. i get a lot of other things too. what do i do? well, its different every time. its sort of long winded to tell them about this condition called alopecia, etc etc, so when appropriate, i do. and when its not i just say no. there have been times i have responded with mean looks and distain. i dont like myself when i do that. i am trying to find a way to have patience with people who 1) are nosy and 2) are inappropriately inquizitive. im working on it. any ideas?
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Permalink Reply by Jude on
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This has happened to me a few times with complete strangers. I find it weird that someone would go up to someone they don't even know and ask them if they are having chemo - I would never dream of doing such a thing. In most cases though it's been someone who has had chemo themselves or knows someone who is and just wants to talk about it.
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Permalink Reply by Reen on
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Yea... I work at Starbucks, and 2 of my regulars are going through chemo. They asked, and when I found out WHY they were asking, I felt "okay" and kinda clued them in.
I just get so frustrated when people ask me "what happened" OR just assume i'm sick.
I'm still kinda new to AT and it's been a struggle
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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on
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Hi Timothy,
You know I never thought about people asking a man, but I know it must happen. Lately when I see a bald guy I look to see if he has eyebrows, eyelashes and how bald he really is. I'm sure it makes no difference if you a guy or gal people ask anyway. I have a wig now that I wear to work and people there have stated all kinds of things to me. I was half way tempted to take off the wig and go bald. Then we'll see who talks. Makes me a little upset.
Hugs take care
Eileen
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Permalink Reply by Camille Reinecker on
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Hello, Eileen,
I usually wear a wig out in public but lately I have been leaning towards not wearing one at all. Anyway, thats another story. last year I went away to college and was nervous to see if people would notice if I was wearing a wig. A few months in I was talking to my friend, cody, and he made a comment about how he doesnt understand why a woman would go bald or even try go bald. I instinctively, (almost like word vomit), told him that I was bald and that I have been this way for 3 years now. Also that he was a rude and not a kind person. He kinda stared at me in disbelief until I showed him the edge of my hair piece. When we both started talking about it after that it was all good. He is now one of my closest friends and now one of the few people in the world that know about alopecia.
I think its fun to shock people by telling them about it. and giving them the knowledge of it is a good side effect.
:o)
Camille Rose
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Permalink Reply by Jenn on
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i get this every day. it depends on what personality i have at the time as to what my answer is. i find that since i lost my hair and it is now growing back but not everywhere that i have several different personalities. when patient i explain what is going on. when angry i tell them to mind their own business ( i always have guilt after this one). when emotional i get tears in my eyes and just say no. i feel guilty when i respond in a bad way because i think that most people are good and have good intentions. it is my battle and i have to learn a more appropriate way to deal with this, im trying.
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Thanks. and you're right... not just women. As a woman, I've noticed it so much. People give me the weird looks and it's just so frustrating.
My boss kept asking me if I was okay to work. I'm like, I'm NOT SICK, I just have no hair!
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Permalink Reply by gem on
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I get the same problem, my job means having to face the public on a daily basis & i'm shocked at how ignorant some people really are.
Im a qualified counsellor, deal with peoples emotions & out bursts yet when I was first diagnosed with aa I struggled to deal with my own feelings.
My emotions were all over the shop, I soon learnt that the sad fact is that people in modern day society are ignorant, make assumptions and can be really rude! Id never dream of saying half the things people have said to me.
Ive now taken on the attitude take me as u find me....... or b*gger off!!!
embrace the baldness girlies xx
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you have me rolling on the floor here Bogie!!!!! I totally agree... sometimes i want to get "i don't have cancer" tattooed on my forehead!
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Permalink Reply by Zoey on
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Yes, I have.. I had a women come up to me at the gym and interrupt my working out. She wanted to know how I was doing, if everything was going to be okay. She was a stranger!! So, I had to explaine everything, and I think she kinda felt weird about what she did (GOOD) and just was talking to me about other things then left! Crazy Strangers!!
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Permalink Reply by Diane on
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Have you try to answer back by saying 'why do you ask?'
I've personnaly never had to use this line in the situation of my alopecia. However, I've used it a few time with stranger asking if my daugthers are 'real' sister, right in front of them OR if I was their 'real' mother.....It has made them realized their intrusive manner.
Diane
PS: I've build my family through international adoption
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