I'm coping better than my family????

Really... come on! I've been an Alopecian since May, and my mom is STILL making me crazy. She stares at my head like it holds the secret to life. She keeps asking me if I'm shaving it (i'm not) and then asks why I still have razors in my bathroom drawer... well... I gotta shave my legs!

I cover my head with a bandanna alot of the time so she won't stare, but then she gets on me about how "It's supposed to be better for my scalp" to not be covered. I just want her to stop looking at me like I've got a second head, or asking me on a daily basis if I'm doing anything to my head. I don't really want to stay bald, thanks for asking.

I just get so frustrated, because I feel like I'm coping better than she is. I feel like I'm the one who SHOULD be upset, but I'm being the strong one for her.

I'm just frustrated. I'm not ashamed of how I look around my family, so I prefer not to cover up, but the stares make me crazy! Advice?

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Permalink Reply by Sharon on October 10, 2008 at 3:00pm
Hi Reen. I found it interesting reading your post, as I am the mother of a now 12 year old child who is AT-AU and has been living with alopecia since she was eight. Although Nicole is the one who is living with alopecia it has affected everyone around her.

As a parent you feel this total sense of helplessness and frustration because this is your baby and there isn't a damn thing you can do to fix it. One day when you have babies of your own you may realise it is a natural thing to want to make everything ok. I no now that Nicole is OK and she copes admirably with her alopecia, she is fine in her baldness round her family, however she still isn't comfortable telling others (which I encourage her too however it isn't my choice). At the moment as a parent I am having to let her go a little and realise that she has to find her own way in the world and that there will be situations that she will have to deal with herself. It is really difficult knowing that your child is subject to bullies and insensitive people who don't think before they open their mouths. We will be here when she gets home to help pick up the pieces and encourage her and tell her she is ok. Anyway Iknow that those people would still be there if she didn't have alopecia, and that it would be something else they would tease her about perhaps.

Sorry I'm waffling but what I'm trying to say is that your Mum luvs you and wants you to be ok. Talk to her and tell her that you are ok. Iknow when Nicole was diagnosed with AA it was horrible we tried a few treatments and vitamins before we gave up (which was Nicoles choice). We now just encourage her to be all that she can be, and she knows we are here to support her.


Anyway take care and I hope things get better between you and your mum. Families can be hard work sometimes.
Sharon
Permalink Reply by Reen on October 10, 2008 at 10:49pm
Thanks Sharon. That definitely helps me to see it from the other side. It's been such a rough road for me and my mom for years, and it's getting easier, but this is just a new "twist".

Thank you all for your support!!! It's been so helpful.
Permalink Reply by Lori Powers on October 12, 2008 at 8:56pm
Oh honey, Been there, done that. If you can afford it, pick up "If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing" by LeslieAnn Butler (she's here...she's lovely) or "Bald is Beautiful" by Jodi Pliszka. Then make it MANDATORY reading for your mother.

Mine couldn't understand when I was telling her, but reading published authors? She understands now. ;-)
Permalink Reply by Reen on October 13, 2008 at 10:28am
I could hug you right now! I'll definitely look into both of those.

Thank you so much!

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