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Why do you have patches in your hair?
When a young child that has alopecia is being picked on in school, being called bald headed and asked "why do you have patches in hair"?... What should be the childs response? Child to child
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on
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Kids will be kids, even if that doesn't excuse everything they do. However, what this does mean is that, as parents, we must never overreact but continue to teach our children the critical importance of tolerance and diversity and how to respond to teasing in non-violent ways. For example, I've always taught my daughters that it really shows how strong and special they are to ignore and rise above the taunts of children who should have been taught better.
I would also suggest that you use this coloring book to help your daughter learn how to explain her uniqueness to other children and adults. Perhaps her school will also permit her to make a special presentation about her alopecia during a school assembly. Quite a number of children and teens have been afforded the opportunity to promote alopecia awareness and respect in this way.
Finally, be sure to tell your daughter about other alopecic children like 9-year-old Rio Jiminez of Denver, who when teased would respond by saying, "I don't care what you say because my mom loves me and I have people around me who love me."
If you're not already involved with the Children's Alopecia Project, then check out this great resource too.
Whatever you do, make sure that you don't underestimate your child's inner strength, intelligence, and resiliency. I've helped raise three "little women" and I was always amazed by their ability to cope with and overcome schoolyard adversities if and when they saw their mom and I holding it together on our end. No wonder the good book says, "And a child shall lead them."
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How to respond to being teased
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Permalink Reply by Tray (Jazz's Mom) on
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Thank you sooo much for the encouraging words. I'm always sure not to over react. I also tell my child that it is her chance to educate someone on Alopecia. Thanks for all the great links. I am learning so much since being introduced to this site.
Thanks again.
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You're welcome, Tray. This should also help! :-)
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Permalink Reply by Trina on
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You will be suprised that kids are a lot more resiliant than you think. My daughter has taught me so much. I thought she would be sad and it seems it has been me. my daughter says if they dont like her for who she is then they are not her friends. Tell Tray to educate them and not to be shy. It is a time to teach people that while different we are still people. It is hard to deal with and I am sure she will make it throught it.
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Thanks. It is good to know that you are not alone and there are others that relate to our pain.
Thanks again.
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Permalink Reply by marie on
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when my son was asked why he had patches, he simply said ''i have alopecia'' where your hair can fall out. just be honest. i find if you explain thigs to children, they understand more.and can be more accepting..xx
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Permalink Reply by DeafPoet on
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This was always a problem for me. My alopecia manifested at age 13, which was horrible as I was just entering high school at the time. And I got a lot of those questions before I finally broke down and shaved my head.
Initially I was very angry about it and found some glib way to deflect the question. Usually in a sarcastic way. Needless to say, I didn't make a lot of friends in those conversations at first.
I finally realized that it didn't really matter anyway. I wasn't lucky enough to have a place like this when I was growing up with this condition so I had to come to the realization that I wasn't special or weird all by myself.
Now, I address such concerns with a frank explanation of what alopecia is. That it's not a result of chemotherapy and no, it's not contagious. The more we talk about it, the easier it gets. Both for ourselves and for others who are so afflicted.
Hiding from my condition is the worst thing I ever did to myself. Kids in that position should just be cool about it and be up front with it.
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Thanks for the response. I am trying to teach my daughter this now. I know that it is easier said to her than done. But slowly she is getting better. Only after an "episode" does she crawl completely back under the rock. She is getting there. I am glad there is a place like this for her to see she is not the only one.
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