So I'm 6 years in to this odd physical change (alopecia universalis). It was shocking, it was abrupt, and it made me more concerned about my looks than I had ever been, but the shock passed. I tell everyone I have alopecia, compulsively for a while, because I assume everyone sees, and cares, and judges. Overwhelmingly the response is awkward laughter, confusion, and then "oh I thought you just liked a shaved head". Even people I've known for years (with hair), and even when I point out that I have no eye brows, and no eye lashes. They usually look closer, squint, and then say omg! Or even double down and say yeah I really thought you just like the bald lifestyle!

I had a micro pigmentation tattoo last year. It has been a very subtle solution to feeling completely naked up there. It gave me just enough confidence to go out without a hat and not constantly think about being bald, but I am bald, and now that I don't think about it, it wouldn't matter if I had the tattoo or not. It's a huge mind fuck! It doesn't matter.

I still have dreams occasionally that my hair started growing back, and in the dream I'm so relieved. I feel like finally I knew it was going to grow back! Then I wake up and I feel good about it for a an hour or so. For a while there was a sadness afterwards because it was just a dream, but that went away eventually. I can spot other people with alopecia across a crowded room, and I've met so many people who have overcome their struggle with it that it made me feel stronger. Some people who are very vocal advocates for alipecia awareness, and some people you just bump into in an elevator. So many brief and awkward introductions with people who managed to get pay it and carry on with life. It took countless moments of insecurity, self doubt, and second guessing, but I've made it. The people who loved me still love me, the new people I meet like me for morenimportant reasons than looks, and whether male or female BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!