Afraid to have kids

I know there are much worse things that can be passed on to children, but a part of me is rather scared to have kids because I hate knowing I may pass on my AA. Anyone else have these fears?

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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on July 27, 2012 at 5:53pm

My kids both had nice hair with bangs, needing haircuts all the time. Grandchild, too. I think the particular mixture of rare genes we got might be compromised or negated by whoever we select as the other parent. Besides...kids are wonderful of their own accord. We help them have strength and positive attitudes, help them discover and develop their talents, minds and compassion. Some folk never get that, even WITH hair!

Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on July 27, 2012 at 5:59pm

Haha Tallgirl, good point. ;)

Permalink Reply by Debra (twin mom) on July 28, 2012 at 3:43pm
My son's derm told us this condition is NOT hereditary!!
Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on July 28, 2012 at 3:52pm

I've been to 2 and they both said it was. :-/
I'm the only one in the family with it though.

Permalink Reply by Deana DG on July 28, 2012 at 3:50pm
I have had AU since the age of 8 I am now 31 and have a 3 years old who has beautiful long hair. I wonder everyday if she will have AA or AU but the joy and happiness she brings us is worth it. I think it also depends on how you feel about your AA. I am very comfortable with my AU. It's a part of who I am and I think my positive attitude towards it will effect my daughter if she has it. Honestly AA would be a blessing compared to some of the other illnesses that effect children.
Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on July 28, 2012 at 3:53pm

I don't disagree! I'm more comfortable with my AA now - but it took me 4 years to get that way. I couldn't image dealing with it as a child.

Permalink Reply by Deana DG on July 28, 2012 at 3:56pm
The doctor that diagnosed me told my mother not to treat me any differently. That is probably the best advice we ever got and the best advice I can pass on. I believe it made me a stronger person and it was never, ever a crutch.
Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on July 28, 2012 at 3:57pm

Smart doc. :)

Permalink Reply by Me&myGirl_Aussie on August 1, 2012 at 2:50am

Do not let this stop you from having kids!!!!

I have AU, and my daughter has AT. My daughter is the most awesome experience that life can bring. She has amazed me with her acceptance of the condition, and she classes us as "special" compared to other mothers and daughters, because we share something together that others don't/can't.

She shows off her wigs to her friends at school, and loves the attention that she gets when she goes to shool with "new" hair (which we explained to the school and did not hide the fact)

Its all about putting positivity into your childs heads, stand up, accept who you are
(my attitude......if you don't like it ......get stuffed),
and if it happens to to your child, its ONLY HAIR....... its so superficial.....

Heads up people, have your children, and be proud !!!!!

Permalink Reply by Me&myGirl_Aussie on August 1, 2012 at 7:09pm

You have taken it all wrong, reading it you should be looking at the positive of it. Please do not think I do not understand.... I have had AT from 12-25 and AU from 25 to this day. However I was trying to put across a positive story for people, and a pump up the negative thoughts.

I was treated extremely poorly at high school, back then it was a freaky disease so unknown, no internet there was no online help with this......... however when it did happen to my daughter I took action from AA (nataional and australian) sites and used the school packs to help awareness for her, her friends and her school so she would not be treated the same.....

..... BUT we are not focussing on the negative....I AM focusing on the POSITIVE....please see that.... my positive actions and with the school packs help ..... that was what has helped my daughter....

As I have always said, I can see, I can hear, I have two arms, I have two legs, I am not blind, deaf or in a wheelchair (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I am greatful I am only missing hair.... I have friends with disabled children, and I am a step mum to my partners 4 children (2 of which are autistic and we have full custody of and attend "special school")..... life is about looking at the positive.....

Permalink Reply by N on January 28, 2014 at 11:29pm

I have also had similar concern. I am 37 male and single and for a long time I avoided relationships because I always had this anxiety of having a child with A. So I could not consider any relationship to get serious. Having a kid with A will be a double torture for me.

Permalink Reply by N on January 29, 2014 at 10:21am

Thanks for your support. I know that adoption is a concern, but you can not get the right of having her own kid from a woman. 

Regarding the point with those who don't want a kid....Being a man with alopecia makes it extremely difficult to intimately attract a woman! On the other hand, the % of those women who don't want a kid is very low..

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