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Alopecia and heartbreak
Hello All and Happy New Year!
I had alopecia areata for several years, I was able to do okay, covering my "spots" and keeping a really healthy mental attitude about it. I was in a relationship for a little over 2 years and during that time, I lost my lashes, brows, and all the hair on my head. I got a Freedom Wig (best thing I ever did) and can't lie, was and still am, very sad about the loss of my brows and lashes...Still, (and finally my point) I had been in a relationship for a bit over 2 years, he loved me and accepted my alopecia completely. We broke-up last week. Though I am heartbroken and can't even FATHOM dating again, I am very perplexed (and maybe feeling sorry for myself) about how to go about dating with alopecia. My ex saw the progression of my condition, I never had to explain...It was something he was there for me during. How do you meet someone new and explain alopecia? Ugg.
I'd appreciate any feedback!
Julie
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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1. Why do you NEED to date?
2. Why can't you get over yourself by completing a college education, travelling, creating art, partying with friends, hanging out with relatives, etc. until you are over the last guy and know yourself better?
3. Why can't you go to the Love and Relationships discussions category on this site (and read all of them to see what many of us have already said on this topic)?
4. Why not join an age-appropriate group on this site, or go to an alopecia support event locally, or attend the alopecia conference via www.naaf.org? You won't have to explain to THOSE men!
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Permalink Reply by julie on
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Wow, Tallgirl...This is my first day on this site. Thanks for your support. Or whatever your response was.
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Hey Jules! (ooh, I feel a Beatles song coming on....)
Don't take TG's comments the wrong way.... she's pretty cool really. She's just trying to point you somewhere on here where peeps have already asked that question! (you should see what she says to ME sometime.... actually, no, you shouldn't ;) )
Soz to hear about you breaking up with your fella, but I second what Whitney said below - it's not about your hair, it's about how you present yourself. Act like you own the room, be confident, and watch jaws drop (for all the right reasons). In cases like that, the bald head actually amkes you even more enigmatic, exotic, mysterious and desirable!
Meanwhile, take some time out to get over your break-up, and come and chat to us on here. In fact, feel free to take some of us out for drinkies - because we're worth it (no, hang on, that's shampoo... we don't talk about that here :) )
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Thank you so much, Norm! While browsing on here, I read a lot of your replies and advice. You are very witty, insightful, and wise. I appreciate your words!
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Yeah, but she still can't count.... I make that THREE men. The unashamed hussy. ;)
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My 20 year old daughter has just gone thru a similar break-up after a 2 year relationship with a guy that was so supportive. I feel like he was there for her when she needed him. I have a friend that I met on this site a couple of years ago. She is happily married and told me that men want an attractive woman on their arm and they don't care how they get there. The point is, wear a wig if it makes you feel pretty. She also said not to tell the guy about the alopecia unless you think the relationship has potential to go somewhere. This has worked for my daughter and she seems to be doing okay. Break-ups are so tough with or without alopecia. Get Adele's album and listen to it and realize the sweet revenge that she has had. One writer said that we all got over her ex this past year. My point is don't blame the break-up or the sadness on the alopecia, it happens to alot of people. Some great guy will love you for who you are someday and for how you deal with life. I am really sad for the break-up and sorry for your pain. Karen
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Permalink Reply by thinlizzyfairy on
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hi lovely lady :)
im in the same boat too, me and my boyfriend split up last week and feeling much what youre feeling...i think tho, this is a grand opportunity for us to find ourselves, learn to stand on our own 2 feet, have a lot of fun with friends and just focus on feeling good, dont need no silly boys for that! :) if you ever need a natter drop me a line.
big love,
sarah x
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