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Alopecia and teenage boys
My 16 year old boy was recently diagnosed with Alpoecia. He had a very thick and beautiful head of hair before April. 2010 and not it is very sparse and he is growing it out to comb over the spots to hide them. he is having a very hard time coping with it and the doctor (who has seen a lot of cases) is not that supportive. I have never had this problem and am having a hard time supporting him as he is very upset and gets quite defensive when we talk about it.
How does anyone else cope with their children going through this? We have been on the internet and seen pictures but it does not help him personally.
he is very worried about going to school in September (grade 12) and what he peers will say about him.
Please suggest something for me to help him.
thans
How does anyone else cope with their children going through this? We have been on the internet and seen pictures but it does not help him personally.
he is very worried about going to school in September (grade 12) and what he peers will say about him.
Please suggest something for me to help him.
thans
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Trish Richardson on
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Thanks Ben. We all know that if your friends make fun of you for something as trivial as hair loss they are not true friends. All of my son's closest friends told him that they hadn't really noticed until he went swimming and his hair parted over the bald areas. They didn't freak or anything and he explained to them what was happening. they were very cool about it. My son's greastest concern is the girls in his school. He is 16 going on 17 and doesn't have very high self esteem right now and this is making it worse.
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Permalink Reply by Connie - Chris' Mom on
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My son was 14 and in the last month of Jr. High when his started. When he realized that it was noticeable he wanted to wear a hat (which was against school rules). I wrote a note explaining the situation and went with my son to school (with the hat - a nice fedora). The school staff was very understanding and notified all of the teachers that he would be wearing a hat. Over the summer he lost all of his hair, eyebrows, eyelashes - everything. It was real hard for him, and me too, to show up for high school registration and ID photos. I again had contacted the school and made sure that he could wear his fedora for the pictures and at school. They even gave him permission to wear sunglasses if he wanted. He had become known for his fedora and says that no one even questions his hair loss (although I'm sure plenty is said or questioned behind his back). This year he'll start his second year of high school with partially grown in eyebrows and eyelashes and splotchy head hair. The fedora continues to be his constant companion whenever he's outside of the house.
I've done everything I can to make things easier for him at school. I have his school counselor discreetly observing him to make sure he isn't isolating himself from his peers. The teachers are all aware and are to notify me if they see him withdrawing. I've told him we can try any treatment he wants, but at least for now he doesn't want to try anything - he doesn't want to do anything that will hurt. His doctors have strongly recommended I get him into professional counseling, but he has refused to talk to anyone about this. We also discovered he has an inflammatory bowel disease (while looking for a cause of his hair loss) and especially with the combination of the two conditions they are most concerned about his emotional health. We have started him on some very low dose anti-depressants in hopes that he'll begin to open up enough that he can talk it out and start to deal with everything. It's so hard as a mother to watch your child suffering and have them not be able to talk about it and to not be able to do anything to make it all better. If I could change places with him I'd do it in a heartbeat, but for now I just have to be the strong one that he will know is always there for him.
Hang in there Trish, and make sure your son knows you have his back. It sounds like your son has friends he can talk to about this and that will greatly help. The friends will probably help pave the way at school, just make sure the school officials know what's going on too. That way, if he decides he want to wear a hat or some other head covering they will support him. I've been told that all of this will only make our children stronger, but I understand how agonizing it is to have to watch them go through it.
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Hi Connie, thanks so much for your reply. I too had suggested to my son that we contact the school and ask about him wearing a hat. He said that for now he didn't want to do that because he didn't want to stand out as the only one wearing a hat and didn't want everyone else feeling he was given special treatement for something. However, having heard from a few people it is good to know that I am doing everything that I can to support him. He also does not want to try the injections or anything that may hurt him. He has a cortisone cream that he is applying twice a day but no real results so far.
Congratulations on you son's hair return even if it is "patchy". Hopefully it will mean he is on the road to recovery. I will speak to my son tonight and maybe the two of them can talk about their situations and friends reactions. It may help.
I will let you know what he says.
Trish
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I have to say, everyone says its harder for girls, but I think boys , at this age, have it harder. My son was just dx at age 14... A few months ago and so far has told no one . It's breaking my heart.
He's a cool artsy kid so no one questions his hat wearing. This morning he looked at me and said," I'm losing all n
My hair and I can't even put it in a Mohawk". What can I say to that?
I'm documenting it here
Www.smartdame.blogspot.con
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Permalink Reply by JeffreySF on
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Hi Trish,
Here are a few sugestions. Without seeing what we have to work with you will have to decide.
1) A cosmetic product called DermMatch. You basically apply it like makeup with a sponge to the affected area. It lasts all day until you wash it out. It comes in many colors and is quite inexpensive.
2) Another cosmetic product called XFusion. It's a topical product that you sprinkle on the affected areas and then add a little hairspray. He could use the 2 products in conjuntion.
3) Get him with some other kids his age that are going through this so he knows he isnt alone. This will be the greatest of help in my opinion.
Best of luck!
Jeffrey
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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National Alopecia Areata Foundation has a list of support groups and phone contacts.
www.naaf.org
then click on Support, then find your area of the country to scroll or click.
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Permalink Reply by Rita on
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Trish-
I've been in the same situation as your son for years, but I'm finally starting to realize it isn't the end of the world (I've been diagnosed for nearly 12 years and it comes back and falls out again over and over). For me it was difficult to talk about it in the beginning because it was hard on my self-esteem. I'm also going into 12th grade and the typical high school setting makes everything that much difficult, but it is a lot better when people know what's going on so they can help and understand what's happening instead of making jokes or comments. I've also had a doctor that doesn't understand what you're going through and he treated me like an experiment instead of an actual person until I actually cried in his office, but I've recently found another. To help him I'd make sure he knows all of his options from treatments, wigs, etc.. that's something my mom never did. Also, I strongly suggest to talk to him and find out how he feels about telling people. My mom drove me crazy by telling people I really didn't want to know.
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Hi Rita: it is nice to hear from someone who is around the same age as my son. I have had a lot of response from people and it was all very positive. Right now, he doesn't want me to tell anyone. However, it is getting more noticeable. He has told his close circle of friends and they are Ok with it or so he tells me. I have discussed with him other treatments etc. that are out there but right now he still believes that it will not all fall out. I think it is actually wishful thinking but I don't want to "burst his bubble" right now. All I am going to do now is be there when he wants to talk and "shut up" when he doesn't. He does have an older brother and younger sister who are very supportive of him and he does talk to them. The three of them make jokes but it is OK because he knows they don't really mean anything.
Again, thanks for you reply and good luck with your own situation.
Trish
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Well... I was the same way every single time it started falling out thinking it wasn't going to come out even more, but eventually it did. So it's going to be even harder on him when he realizes it won't stop falling out. I totally see where he's coming from when everyone jokes about it, you've gotta make the best out of the situation :).
Rita
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Hi Trish,
I just wanted to let you know that NAAF is having several Webinars coming up and they are really geared towards children. Contact NAAF and get on their mailing list! www.naaf.org
Jeffrey
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Thanks Jeffrey. I will.
Trish
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