Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Christine on August 14, 2012 at 3:12pm

Hi, I'm not in Law enforcement, but work in the medical field, where you would think it would be easier, I guess it is somewhat, as this is a medical condition, but we are still just people after all, and I feel extremely selfconcious about my lack of hair, I had been hiding it rather well up until the last 5 months or so, when I began losing in huge spots on the upper parts of my hair, I just went ahead and ordered up a follea gripper wig/prostetic and this is a big step for me, I've been struggling ever since. No matter how high minded we can feel others should be, we are still judged by our looks, it is after all a first impression. Why does wearing a wig/prostetic stop you from moving forward in your field?? Is it harder because of the physical aspects of the job? I have told alot of people I work with that I have AA, and the same people know that it has gotten worse, and I just told a few of them that I am getting a wig, I feel uncomfortable just showing up with "new" hair and acting like nothing is different, obviously they will know anyways right? I really feel for you about the dating thing, I don't know what I'd do in the same situation, I have thought about it tho, Do you tell them before they touch your hair, or head??? So hard to know what to do. How do you feel about not wearing anything? Do you often wear nothing around any close people? I think that you should be able to do whatever your heart desires as far as work goes, this should not be an issue at all. I hope others who work in your field will chime in here and let you know how they coped. Good luck in whatever you decide ((HUG))

Permalink Reply by Denise on August 27, 2012 at 1:07am

Hi, I am glad you are able to talk here about it. I work in EMS ambulance dispatch. MY coworkers are aware of my disorder. BUT not all the medics. I am very uncomfortable about it. I worry can they tell? Is it straight? I have lived with this since April 2009 and I know there has not been a day that I have not struggled with it. I smile and do what needs doing. I wear wigs, I used to wear only real hair ones, then found a part real/ part fake one reg 400.00 on sale for 218.00 so I bought 3..yup one for good, one for work and one spare. WELL 2 after only 2 mths are wrecked, as when I get home I wear short ones. these ones seem, to cook? they are suppose to handle some heat, but they are frizzed real bad at ends. Very frustrating, so I am going back to only 100 % human hair they seem to last almost 1 year, as I always order 2 of the same one and stay along the same look. I have NEVER gone out with out hair. I have 3 kids and am married, I will the odd time at home go around bald, especially when I get one of my migraines. wigs hurt when you have a headache. Unless I tell people they cannot tell my wigs are wigs. I now wear wig eyebrows as mine fell out. those made me feel like a million dollars.
Well, I think you should go for the job you want, wether you decide to wear hair or not, you should work in the area you really want to. I always wonder about if the wind would pull it off, so far not.I think it is hard to accept even though I know it is what it is. My hubby says , screw it , go out bald, your beautiful, who cares what people think.......I wish I could see what he does, but I don't.......... maybe one day. I know I did not really help you in your question, but I think if you at least share it with a few co workers you will feel a little lighter like your not carrying around this huge weighted secret. Try telling one. That is what I say to myself. I wish you well. :) Keep smiling,we all are ok. Denise :)

Permalink Reply by Mandabear on December 12, 2012 at 4:38pm

Hey can you tell me where you got your wig eyebrows?
I have also lost mine.... I draw them in with a combo of powder/pencil and they look pretty good but if there are other options....!!! Thank you :)

Permalink Reply by Bizzo on September 1, 2012 at 11:44am

Hi Shelby! I am new to this whole hair loss thing and have the added problem of working in the fire service for almost 20 years. I have also been through a police academy so I understand your fears and doubts about your hair loss and this line of work. The one advantage I think you have over me is that you will be entering the LE world with AU, not developing it midway through your career and having to go through a drastic change. I think if people know you from the start this way, they are more likely to accept it and get over it than if you have a sudden drastic appearance change. I have to be honest, in my experience the men I work with are less than supportive and have always been super critical of me in every way. In the fire service you live together for 24 hours and become like a second family, sometimes a very dysfunctional one at that. My appearance has always been scrutinized, every pimple commented on, every wrinkle pointed out (now that I am getting older), every bite of food critiqued. A thick skin is vital to survival in these environments. As a woman you are always watched and scrutinized, sad but true. I have found that men (and some women) will always try to find that "chink in your armor", that thing that bothers you and then exploit it. I have learned that this is because they are usually very unhappy and lacking in their own lives and feel the need to put others down to bring themselves up. There will be some that will support you but in my experience that is the exception, not the rule.

I don't mean to be so pessimistic, this is just my own experience. I am struggling now because I have recently lost most of my hair and have been struggling to find a solution and maintain a professional appearance. In my current position, I have to were tactical gear, chem/bio suits, respirators, airpaks , teach classes, testify in court, etc. and I have no clue how I am going to make this work. Add to this a hot desert environment, lots of sweating, and co-workers who will have a field day with this. Hair loss is difficult enough, but the stress of how I am going to manage this at work is making me physically sick. I would kill for a desk job right about now!

Bottom line, go with your gut and if becoming a police officer is your dream, go for it. I would recommend being completely open and honest about your AU, and never let anyone think you are embarrassed or ashamed of it as that takes away the power to mess with you. I so wish I could just act like I don't care what others think (after all these people don't care about me at all, just get off on being cruel) but I am like you, I look at my hair loss as a dirty secret. Until I can change that, I will suffer fear, embarrassment, shame and tremendous stress. I am no where near being able to go out in public without supplemental hair so I admire you if you can. You will need to find out the grooming and appearance standards of your agency to ensure that you comply should you chose to wear a wig. In my police academy, they were super strict and required super short hair for men and women, can't touch ears or collar, but each agency is different. You also might want to visit the HR department and find out what your rights are should you be harassed or discriminated against in any way. What pisses me off most is that half the guys I work with are bald, yet they are never harassed or ridiculed or singled out in any way. HIPPA laws and hostile work environments are serious issues in public service agencies and I recommend knowing them well should you ever need to protect yourself.

Let me know if you have any other questions as I have "been there, done that" and can share my experiences. And if you, or anyone for that matter, have any ideas about how I can ease my own situation I am all ears! Just venting about this has made me feel a bit better, so thanks for that!