Always accepted, but now the challenge of revealing it. My story

Hello everyone!

 

Well here is my story and alittle bit about myself all in one. My name is Michael and I live in milwaukee Wisconsin pretty much my whole life. Im really interested in learning things to my liking, and challenging myself. I love video games and almost everything about music. Im not good at telling things about myself.... I dont like sounding like those people, im good at this, Im good at that, blah blah. I let people decide if im good at things more than me, cause I know some things I really enjoy, Im not all that good at. (like karaoke ;)

 

 

Forgive me if I get excited and side tracked and maybe words with letters in wrong areas. I have a dyslexic thing going on as well as Alopecia. Opps not good for internet haha

 

My first run in with Alopecia was around 4th or 5th grade. Had some small nickle to quarter size spots on my head in front, and near my ears and on the back of my head near my neck. I dont remember much of how I delt with it, just that I had it and was told there is not much I can do and it should grow back. I know I was the only one out of 6 kids to have it(at the time)

 

 Next time 6th grade I remember more cause just my eye brow left side fell out all of it. It was embarassing and I was shy about it. I knew there was no way to hide it. My mom offered to color it in for me and I wanted nothing to do with make up.(common you really think a boy will wear make up to school at that age) At least that was my thinking. It was not so bad it grew back like last time within a few months or so.

 

Now highschool it happened yet again. But this time I do remember it was hard to deal with, cause more in the back of my head fell out. Like 2 silver dollar size spots. People asked quiet often. But by that time knew what it was and was able to explain. In highschool my parents saw it was hard and we went to see a doctor. I ended up trying out a cream, which didnt work cause i could not apply it everyday. So they tried a shot. That seemed to work rather quick. But it seemed to take longer. almost a full year, maybe longer. but it grew back by the start of 10th grade. By that time I figured I would grow my hair long to cover any spots in the future.

 

After that My younger sibbling seemed to get her 1st or 2nd episode( I really dont know, I will have to ask her) of alopecia around 7th grade.(oh I am 3years older than her) But it all pretty much came out just on her head. She shaved it and wore a bandana. I could not believe it and felt really bad for her cause I knew how I felt but was sure she felt worse. I never went through that bad of a problem. So my mom helped her alot and I pretty much tried to learn as much as I could from that point.

 

Something told me I may have to deal with this forever. Her hair grew all back for her by mid 10th grade. she had shots and tried skin creams, and health pills, oils, basicly everything. It just seemed to just come back on its own, but so many things were being tried that we dont know what really worked. After that My whole veiw on it was alot more serious. I really was cautious on how i reacted to things that got me angry. I tried to do things I enjoyed as much as possible growing up with not alot of money in the house for sports, or things like that.

 After school or maybe during school I noticed my arms and legs had spots missing. I thought it was only the head was affected. Somehow I must have missed hearing about it could happen all over. But I told myself so what its better than my head, and just ignored it. It seems to have hung around on my arms and legs to this day.

 

Just within the last year around April/may or so I noticed my beard starting to get small spots. As small as it was I figured, I cant get all worried it will get worse if I do.(basicly my thinking on everything I do in life due to the alopecia) it grew back quickly. Then I got really sick during summer of 09(flu like sickness thats all) and it seems after that my beard got really bad. I figured cool now i dont have to chave as much. Then pretty much 80% of it was gone by augustish. In september It stayed that way. I was going through a rough time with bills and income. I figured It was the mental stress of it all and hoped it would not get worse. A week before halloween my left eye brow started to fall out. Thanksgiving it was half gone and that was it.

I think around Christmas time or just after it my part down the middle of my head was starting to get small spots. thats when I started to worry and remember about my sister. Luckly it is winter and I could wear a skull cap. Cool it will go away sooner or later. Well January came around and every shower it seems I dreaded looking on the floor to clear the drain of all my hair falling out clogging the strainer. Just about late january I said forget it I cant have long hair with now huge missing patches on the whole top of my head missing. With it also on my chest, pubic area, legs, arms and face. I decided It looked worse that way then maybe buzzing it. I loved my long hair but it had to go.It was my concealer for any spots I could have had to protect myself from seeing it and stressing out.I Had my girlfriend get the clippers out and go away. I told her if its worse dont say anything until she was done, cause I feared It was worse with good reason. With my hair so long and it was dense it covered alot of spot that had develpoed I have no idea when. So here I am with 1/2" hair.

I dont want to take a razor to it as I have maybe 50% of my head hair and its not too bad from the front. but the back is basicly bald already. I rather let is show alittle bit and let people ask and Just accept it totaly for what it is. Maybe I will stop thinking its a big deal and I wont stress about it and it will grow back. Hoping. If it gets worse then I will have to shave shave it. but I really dont want to deal with the task of shaving. Im lazy. I just want a clippers and done.

 

I have just started to try and go around the city with out my hat after 2 or 3 weeks of buzzing my hair. But  I still wear it in dorrs most of the time. I think tonight may be the first night im going to go without the hat in doors, but I do need it for the cold. I have never had a shaved head before and wow its cold with no hair! I dont know maybe I will wear it.. arhgg I have to get used to it so im pushing myself to leave it in the car.

 

I have so much more to post but will leave that to another disscusion area on the board.

This seems like a cool place to either vent, or reveal personal info and maybe others finding common things and helping each other out with ideas or dealing with mental situations.

 

Thanks for reading such a long post,

Michael

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Welcome Michael. Yeah this really is a cool site. Had to laugh to myself about wearing a hat indoors...my head gets cold too (western NY...16F this morning when I left for work) so I do the same thing.

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