Being shunned by family because of shaving?

I have not actually shaved my head but I want to introduce my background first to give you a glimpse of what's been going on.

I am 18, and have androgenetic alopecia since 3-4 years ago. What I am going through right now is "bereavement" and I am teetering between the stages of "depression" and "acceptance".

I hate my hair so much now. It has made me feel so ugly (even though it is not supposed to do) and I am beginning to slowly slip back into the depression I had last year. However, before that, I was becoming more positive about my alopecia and was also embracing it as a gift. But I cannot accept the gift until I shave my head, which will honestly make me so much happier than I am now and to allow me to be free from this condition. So I broached the subject while in a conversation with my mother, and I honestly could not have been more disappointed. She was shocked and thought it was "utterly stupid" and "absurd". My siblings have the condition so it is really a family curse. But they have dealt with it and moved on with their lives.

I want to deal with it in a different way by shaving my head but obviously I have no familial support, not even from friends. I know I am 18 and I should make my own decisions but I really need my family's support. I am honestly going into depression, not for this condition but for other personal struggles as well, and I will try to seek psychological help for it (I am on verge of a mental breakdown).

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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on July 27, 2013 at 3:32pm

So, shave it and wear the wig around your mother! What is she going to do, pull off your wig so she can cry? Really! You will be smiling on the inside if you are making your own bold choices! Here is a photo of me on my 60th birthday. I had it shaved the day before my birthday trip.

Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on July 28, 2013 at 5:33am

Gorgeous photo - seriously what fab skin you have. 60....wow, you just don't look it at all!.

Permalink Reply by Paula on August 17, 2013 at 6:20am

60??????? WOW!!!!!!

Permalink Reply by Kirsten on July 28, 2013 at 12:53am
People in our lives can sometimes take so much longer, if ever, to accept a situation/illness than those of us actually living with it. How have your siblings dealt with this and can you not go to them for support and advice?
Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on July 28, 2013 at 5:37am

Hi

I tend to agree with Tallgirl here. This is your choice. Do you homework around what to expect when you shave your head, be prepared with answers to the possible questions that may come up and feel comfortable with your own needs.

Kirsten also has some great advise. Talk to your sisters. :)

There is a group here dedicated to those ladies that prefer to present themselves without hair. I feel sure they will be able to pass on support and advise also. Look through the groups and read through what has been passed on already.

Rosy

Permalink Reply by Lilac on July 28, 2013 at 3:26pm
Thank you for your great answers. Yes I can go ahead to just shave my head off but I really need support and guidance from my family. Doing it alone, I will not be able to stay strong emotionally. My sisters have learned to deal with it but they are completely opposed to the idea of shaving. This is what I am thinking: because I started Rogaine only a few months ago and have just changed my diet to eaf healthier, I will wait to see if there is any positive progress at all within next year. If not, I will go ahead to shave it off.
Permalink Reply by Theresa on August 8, 2013 at 4:19pm

Mariam, I shaved my head and it was the best most liberating feeling I experienced. I did not have to lament over each strain of hair falling to the floor. I shaved my head against my husband wishes but I had to do what was best for me. He eventually supported me by being the one to shave my head. I did not want to feel the shame of the bald spot under my wig anymore. I wanted to be free of it all. Once I release it and let my hair go...it came back to me.
You got support from us!

Permalink Reply by jaime2201 on August 12, 2013 at 12:22pm
Do not allow others who have no idea what this feels like to discourage you. I am shaving my head this week b/c I am sick of waking up and feeling ugly and frustrated when trying to do what little hair I have. I have female pattern baldness and even when I tell people that they wonder if shaving my head will only make my insecurities worse. Nothing will heal over night but I know I will feel some relief after I do it. Do what you want to do, life is too short and anyone who matters won't care and anyone who cares doesn't matter.
Permalink Reply by Paula on August 17, 2013 at 6:30am

Jaime I really feel for you. So young and having to face loosing your hair. I too suffer from Female pattern baldness and even those words make me sick but you have to do wat works for you, wat makes you feel better about yourself? Your siblings have done it their way and you accept that so its now their turn to accept your choice!! You can only control your own feelings and actions and you are not responsible for their attitudes. I would love to know what you decide to do?

Permalink Reply by CindyG on November 27, 2013 at 8:14pm

It is very difficult if your family and friends are not supportive. But I would try what someone else suggested and shave it off and wear a wig around the house.

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