Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Buddhism, mathematics, and alopecia
Hello everyone! I thought I'd introduce myself, after having lurked around off and on for the past year or so. I look forward to chatting here!
I've attached a picture of myself, just because it seems to help break the ice more. I'm the one with no hair.
I am a Male living in Minnesota and am currently in the final stages of my Alopecia Universalis. The only hair left anywhere on my body is a few good sized patched on my legs. I know they will fall out in due time. I am also a High School Mathematics Teacher, and at first was embarrassed at what my students might think, after going from a magnificent beard and full head of hair to completely bald within the span of 2 months left me a bit jarred. However, I believe that I’ve come out of the experience as a better person – and am proud of the way I look.
I think the defining moment actually came from one of my freshmen classes. This was towards the beginning stages of my descent into hairlessness during September of 2012, when I only had bare patches. I noticed for the past few days that some of my students kept snickering whenever I turned around to write on the whiteboard. Being oblivious and a tad bit naive, I thought that I had a hole, or stains on my pants. After each class I would actually check - and was always confused when nothing turned up. Eventually one student found the courage to raise her hand one day, and asked me: "Umm, please don't be mad, but why do you have bald patches on your head?" I laughed a bit, relieved that was all it was, and explained alopecia.
This happened on a Friday. Over the following weekend I decided to shave. I felt that it looked a bit awkward then, but looking back on it, I see this decision as one of the best that I have made.
After spending the better part of two months worrying over whether or not I would keep my eyebrows, my eyelashes, or my chest hair, I eventually came to the conclusion to stop worrying. I gradually came to realize all the baggage that came with having hair - from shaving, to shampoo, to hat head - and I no longer had to worry about any of that! Alopecia forced me to change my attitude, and see the benefits in not becoming attached to things that are, by nature, impermanent. Though it seemed like I wasn't attached (in the sense of clinging) to my hair while I had it, I realize now just how much freer I can be and act without it.
Once this came to my attention, I decided to look more into Buddhism as a religion - having gone through this transformative experience indicative of Buddhist thinking. I have now taken up Buddhism, and have noticed a wonderful feeling of peace within myself about the nature of the world. I am happier, have more self-esteem, and am in better shape. All this is precisely due to the fact that it was revealed to me just how much I stressed about my hair. Once my hair was gone, my attachment to it vanished, and my stress vanished. Once I realized this, it's only a small leap to apply this thinking to other situations. In general, Alopecia has helped me come to the realization that the only thing I can control in the world is my attitude, and reactions to the things that happen around me.
So - in an odd sort of way - I am thankful for this disease and proud to wear it as a stamp, if only for that reason.
- Attachments:
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Marie on
-
How cool are you!!!! I want to have coffee with you and chat about life-not Alopecia!!! (BTW, you look like my daughter's fiance.)
-
Permalink Reply by Gideon Naude Bakkes on
-
No ways - never give up hope!
Science will find a cure!
-
Permalink Reply by Pat on
-
Hi Merkve lovely pic! I sense your freedom and it's wonderful you have come to acceptance so early in your alopecia journey. Each of us finds our own way eventually. I hope for a cure but temper it with unreal expectations and sometimes there's a fine line between the two...maintaining hope without pinning them on expectations that may disappoint. A Buddhist philosophy helps for sure in putting our alopecia into perspective. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I'm the short darkheaded wig lady in my pic lol
-
Permalink Reply by Sue on
-
Good for you, I love this post. Keep up the positivity, you are a good role model for your students!
-
Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on
-
Murkve, you are an inspiration! The way you've handled getting alopecia is totally wonderful! I hope everyone who reads this can walk away with an appreciation of your thoughtfulness and take something from your experience that they can use in their own life. I totally agree with you about being thankful for alopecia and accepting the things that it can BRING to your life rather than taking things away. I'm a woman and not so inclined to go bald all the time (too much attention), but I do it occasionally, for fun and for ease (never wear hair at home unless I forget to take it off, or in the garden or to exercise) and what you say is true - even for those of us who wear wigs - much easier than taking care of your own hair!
-
Permalink Reply by Bety on
-
Congratulations!!! It only took me 25 years to let go of my hair. I still wear hats, and sometimes is hard to deal with the staring part from strangers, but stories like yours, is what keeps me going. Thanks so much for sharing :)
-
-
Hi
Thanks for sharing your story....it is inspirational. :):):)
Rosy
-
Permalink Reply by Rose on
-
Bravo!!! You, adjusted so fast. And you look very handsome without hair. Truly.
-
Permalink Reply by Dorothy on
-
This is all just much easier for men than for women, I have lived with AU for 40+ years and while the nightly crying stopped years ago, I will never stop wishing I had my hair back and hating this baldness, lack of facial features I have to endure.
-
-
While I respect your ordeal Dorothy, and I genuinely hope you are able to come to terms with yourself - both my and your individual experience are just that: individual. I hardly think it appropriate to leverage these and use their comparison to draw a conclusion about how it is simply easier for men to go through this disease. Especially when you must know how many men tear themselves to pieces over common male pattern baldness.
Again, I am not trying to say that what I went through was difficult. As a matter of fact I don't think it was, for me. It just was what it was. I'm also not trying to trivialize your sufferings. I cannot even begin to imagine your emotional turmoil. For that you have my sympathies and compassion.
But I want to be cautious about how we sometimes - intentionally or unintentionally - devalue the struggles of others via anecdotes and comparisons.
I hope you find your peace - in whatever manner it may present itself.
-
-
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time Dorothy. In my work, I've found that for most men, it is harder to camouflage their alopecia than it is for women! You don't have to endure a 'lack of facial features'. Women can get their eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed, can wear wigs that hide their hairline and no one thinks twice about their use of make up. For men, tattooing looks unnatural, they can't wear make up without fear of looking like they are on stage and their lack of facial hair is also a factor. I have found that alopecia is actually easier to disguise (if you want to disguise it) for women than it is for men and especially, for boys. The choice to wear a wig is a natural one for many women even when they don't have AU. I don't think any of us is in a position to judge how difficult (or not) it may be for any one person. You can reach out to others in your region for resources on cosmetic tattooing or just on how to apply make up that looks natural.
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
