Buddhism, mathematics, and alopecia

Hello everyone! I thought I'd introduce myself, after having lurked around off and on for the past year or so. I look forward to chatting here!

I've attached a picture of myself, just because it seems to help break the ice more. I'm the one with no hair.

I am a Male living in Minnesota and am currently in the final stages of my Alopecia Universalis. The only hair left anywhere on my body is a few good sized patched on my legs. I know they will fall out in due time. I am also a High School Mathematics Teacher, and at first was embarrassed at what my students might think, after going from a magnificent beard and full head of hair to completely bald within the span of 2 months left me a bit jarred. However, I believe that I’ve come out of the experience as a better person – and am proud of the way I look.

I think the defining moment actually came from one of my freshmen classes. This was towards the beginning stages of my descent into hairlessness during September of 2012, when I only had bare patches. I noticed for the past few days that some of my students kept snickering whenever I turned around to write on the whiteboard. Being oblivious and a tad bit naive, I thought that I had a hole, or stains on my pants. After each class I would actually check - and was always confused when nothing turned up. Eventually one student found the courage to raise her hand one day, and asked me: "Umm, please don't be mad, but why do you have bald patches on your head?" I laughed a bit, relieved that was all it was, and explained alopecia.

This happened on a Friday. Over the following weekend I decided to shave. I felt that it looked a bit awkward then, but looking back on it, I see this decision as one of the best that I have made.

After spending the better part of two months worrying over whether or not I would keep my eyebrows, my eyelashes, or my chest hair, I eventually came to the conclusion to stop worrying. I gradually came to realize all the baggage that came with having hair - from shaving, to shampoo, to hat head - and I no longer had to worry about any of that! Alopecia forced me to change my attitude, and see the benefits in not becoming attached to things that are, by nature, impermanent. Though it seemed like I wasn't attached (in the sense of clinging) to my hair while I had it, I realize now just how much freer I can be and act without it.

Once this came to my attention, I decided to look more into Buddhism as a religion - having gone through this transformative experience indicative of Buddhist thinking. I have now taken up Buddhism, and have noticed a wonderful feeling of peace within myself about the nature of the world. I am happier, have more self-esteem, and am in better shape. All this is precisely due to the fact that it was revealed to me just how much I stressed about my hair. Once my hair was gone, my attachment to it vanished, and my stress vanished. Once I realized this, it's only a small leap to apply this thinking to other situations. In general, Alopecia has helped me come to the realization that the only thing I can control in the world is my attitude, and reactions to the things that happen around me.

So - in an odd sort of way - I am thankful for this disease and proud to wear it as a stamp, if only for that reason.

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Permalink Reply by Murkve on November 25, 2013 at 7:47pm
Thank you all for your kind words. I've never known another Alopecian, and it's strangely comforting to know that my experiences are shared.

Anyway, I just wanted to extend my thanks and gratitude for the kind welcome and comments. I didn't write it with the intention of "inspiration". I simply wanted to express my newfound happiness to a group of people that might truly resonate with it.

People tend to look at me crazy when after I tell them about my condition. I exclaim: "Bald is actually pretty nice! You should try it!" I'm feeling less of that "crazy" feeling here.

You all look fantastic, by the way. Everyone. I wish more ladies would have the courage go bald. They look so beautiful. Serene. Regal. However, I understand how difficult it is for all involved.
Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on November 25, 2013 at 8:27pm

Thanks Murkve.  For me it isn't courage.  I will take my hair off anytime, anywhere if the spirit (or my sense of humor) moves me.  I wear it because I like to just blend in - go my way without making a drama of it.  I am also vain and like the way my hair looks with clothes - but that is personal and certainly not something that anyone else has to do or not do.  We all have the choice to go the way we feel most comfortable.  Still, you ARE inspirational - even though you didn't intend to be!

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on November 26, 2013 at 10:33am

Hi Murkve,

I just wanted to say thank you for you're post, sometimes you write and don't realise how much you're words touch other peoples lives. I finally got the courage to shave my head on Saturday morning, completely spur of the moment, just decided I couldn't live with the hair loss anymore, and really didn't have much to shave off.  I had a very tough day, cried on and off all day, or when i looked at myself in the mirror.  My insides were very much at peace, my outsides were not matching my insides. I continue to struggle when I look in the mirror and don't know how long that will take, but I read you're post Saturday night, I think I went on the website to find comfort and I did in you're post.  Just to hear you're story,  and that you have newfound happiness was a blessing to me, so thank you ! and welcome to the board. 

 

Permalink Reply by Brandy on November 26, 2013 at 8:26am

Thanks for your profound words and wisdom.  Losing my hair has lead me to meditate on gratitude, being grateful that hair is all that I have lost.  I also feel liberated to have discovered head wraps (bandanas / head scarves) and am no longer glued to a bonded hair piece.  In a sense, I have discovered non-attachment through liberation from my hair piece.

Permalink Reply by Electrox_Kicks on November 26, 2013 at 10:56am

Thank you for sharing. I too have surmised that Alopecia has been a positive in the sense of introducing me to an even healthier and more rewarding lifestyle. I have not yet reached the stage where I feel comfortable without a hat in public, though I have taken it off once while eating out and found this really empowering. I have also recently began embracing Buddhism, and also taking a further interest in Hinduism, and believe in the future I will look back as see Alopecia as my saviour!

Permalink Reply by Nathan Paul Prince on November 27, 2013 at 4:32pm

I think it's a super groovy way to accept being Alopecian :) cheers and greetings from Calgary!

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