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I first noticed I had some missing hair at the front when I was 19 years old but my hair was still quite thick. Later in my 20's it was starting to become noticeable. I absolutely hated it. I used to have the comb over but bravely opted for a number 4. A few weeks ago I had a number 1 which is only a few millimetres long. I've had to accept it and now am able to crack a joke about it.
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I believe the person dealing with the condition can laugh about this when they are ready...but I feel it is really inappropriate for others to laugh at you or use your condition to make others laugh.
I also don't like when those with this condition belittle themselves, there is a fine line between genuinely being ok about this and humour. Be careful not to hurt yourself.
Rosy
Dear Rose Marie , how wise you are , casual self depricating humour now and again is fine , but too much of it shows a lack of self esteem , and can lead to unwanted attention , along with unkind and hurtful remarks from insensitive and ignorant people . We have nothing to be ashamed of , so therefore do not show it.
You sound very confident Rosy , I wish that I was , but then we all cope with this problem in many different ways . A Good life and happiness to you.
OK - 2 funny stories. I will start by saying that even though I get bummed out at times - I am mostly OK with my AU and very open about it.
1) My boss is a very good physician whom I have know for about 10 years. He is old enough to be my dad and I think that makes him feel too old. So, one day I made a joke about his age - something dumb, like he was having trouble reading something and I said "need some reading glasses?" He looks at me straight faced and said "need a comb?" The people around dropped their jaws but I just laughed so loud! I love it that he doesn't tip toe around me and treat me weird. He apologized later and I told him how it was actually refreshing. He did not mean it in a mean spirited way any more than my age crack was towards him.
2) A patient walked into the office and I smiled and said "Wow - you are letting your hair grow out. Looks great!" She said thanks and gave me a funny look and walked to the check in desk. (I work with OB patients so I really get to know them fairly well.) When the CNA was checking her into a room she asked her about my "condition". The CNA explained about the AU. The patient told the CNA about my comment and said "Oh good because I almost said - yah but you're obviously not!" in reference to growing out hair. Again I laughed when the CNA told me about it. See I would have laughed if she said it b/c how quick witted right? But obviously you don't say that kind of thing to someone you slightly know and have no idea if they are sick or not.
So yah - I can joke about it and laugh but I do think there is a difference (as someone else said) between a sense of humor about the situation vs hiding behind self deprecating humor. I know if this had happened to me as a teen or something I could not have handled it with the same grace and sense of humor as I have been able to do as an adult. AND it did take me at least 8 months of AU to even think about getting a sense of humor and see the silver linings.
My dear friend was so proud of me for finally being open about my alopecia that she would always say, "I love what you've done with your hair." To which I would reply, "I curled it just for you." Then we would laugh. Her support and the laughter helped me gain footing on very unstable ground. Now, I use gentle humor to help others understand they don't need to feel awkward about my alopecia.
I lost all my hair when I was a child, now I'm 38 I have plenty of time to come to terms with it so yes I do have a sense of humour about it.
Totally! Without humor, life could be pretty depressing! When I first got alopecia I was newly married. My husband joked that he no longer needed a nightlight when he got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If there was a moon, it reflected off my shiny bald head and lit his way! For a while I had a spot at the back of my head that was shaped exactly like the 'boot' of Italy! Once, after skiing, the bar at Stratton was full of people and a guy was giving away promotional Corona beer hats and playing Jimmy Buffet music. After a guy requested a hat 'because he was bald' the announcer told him that was NOT a good enough reason to get a hat. You know what's coming don't you? I looked at the friend I'd been skiing with and she looked at me and I got up and asked for a hat. When he asked why I wanted it, I took off my hair and said, 'because I'm bald"! Needless to say, he gave me the hat, to thunderous foot pounding and cheering from the crowd. Life is better when you can laugh about yourself, your alopecia, pretty much everything.
Laughing really helps. I'm a completely bald woman and don't care anymore. I just go everywhere as is. Yesterday, I was walking into the grocery store and passed a mother and little girl in the parking lot. The little girl loudly said, "Mom, is that a guy?" over and over. I turned back and smiled. The mom grabbed her daughter and ducked behind a car. I watched her drag her down to the other door, the "Mom, is that a guy?" fading in the distance. I bent over laughing so hard. I laughed because once upon a time, I would have been the one red faced and hiding behind cars. But not now.
Awesome yourself Bonnie!!
I've got Alopecia Universals & when I lost it, I was a bit spectacle about it..
But, now I took the look as a blessing & didn't bother about it!
No headache's of Hair loss, Hair cuts, coloring/ dye'z, dandruff etc.
I only regret losin' my eyebrows and eye lashes da most..
Sandy, you can get your eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed! It's the best. Make sure to ask around for the best people to do it. Some people learn to put on false eyelashes too.
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