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Codependency and Alopecia
I am wondering if it is just me, or if other alopecians who feel loss of control over their hair and lives tend to control whatever they can...and whomever they can...for some SURE things to manage in their (our) lives? I am particularly talking to those of you out there who have settled for others who "need fixing" (i.e. addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, overeaters), either to fix them or because we do not feel we deserve better. How many of us then ended up with relationships that were no picnics, due to someone's substance misuse? Or, how many of us self-medicated with alcohol, pot, other things "because we wanted to forget," or because we thought we needed it to loosen up and be fun after years of not dating? College students, feel free to jump in here...do you control? Or do you self-medicate and then resent those trying to get you back to normalcy? And, if the relationshp ended, did you blame the alopecia rather than the addiction/addict?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carmen Dayhoff on
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this is an interesting post.i've been thru a divorce w' an addict/alcoholic&hv learned much bout codependency after being involved in al-anon.it was in these s'port grps i came out of hiding my alo.
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another side of codependency for me is needing confirmations of self to build confidence.i've struggled to b confident no matter what ppl say or what i think they think.i'm working on it tho.
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Permalink Reply by Heather L on
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Cool topic Tall girl!
I read an article on Pubmed a while back - (I'll have to see if I can find it again) that looked at the correlation between personality traits/types and AA. Of the small sampling of AA patients in the study the majority did have higher anxiety and control issues than the control group. However they were looking at children!!! SO perhaps it is a which comes first scenario (chicken or the egg!) Are people who tend to be more controlling or feel the need to "fix" more susceptible to developing AA? (or autoimmunes diseases in general ) Rather than the loss of control due to AA creating a need to control other areas...
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Permalink Reply by Tuesday on
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Interesting post. I definitely self-medicated BEFORE losing my hair and I had a lot of other issues going on in my life. BUT, Losing my hair and watching my personality evolve actually gave me a lot of inner strength - so I'd say alopecia has mostly had a positive effect on my life. If anything I'm stronger and less prone to any sort of co-dependency issue than when I had hair.
You mentioned "control" issues. I do have a lot of other autoimmune health issues and tend to worry about my diet and fitness level. But this focus on my health has always been the norm for me. Again - a positive - alopecia made me realize i can't control everything. I was always super healthy and then BAM - my hair fell out. Now I realize you can try to be healthy but you can't prevent all bad things from happening to you!
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