Hey,

For those who haven't read my other forum posts, I am a young adult with extensive alopecia areata (I would say that I am at about 60-65% loss now). I am currently at month 7 of dealing with my alopecia areata.

I have tried and stopped prednisone (1 month course), and other than the horrible side effects, I have not noticed hair growth.

I have been getting cortisone injections since early February, every 3 weeks, and there have been a fair number of regrowths.

I am potentially about to start a new medication prescribed by my dermatologist, an oral liquid steroid that you take once a month (name is unknown for now, I haven't picked it up from the pharmacy yet). Not sure if I will take it, will have to research it first. I will probably add another forum discussion tomorrow once I know the name.

As great as the regrowths have been (seriously, I am really happy for regrowths!), the fact that my losses are still at 100-200 hairs every day is really upsetting. I am so confused, and although I know that keeping a positive demeanor with a "you know what, it'll be okay" attitude is what will make my body stop being so anxious, it's way easier said than done.

I don't think it is coincidental that the first spot I got back in January coincided with a traumatic family event, and to be quite honest, I am not so surprised that the hair loss is still so bad because I am constantly stressed, anxious, nervous and sleepless due to said family issue (my older brother has a genetic heart disorder, and since January, there have been quite a few incidents that have happened... as recently as 3 weeks ago.)

I know what I SHOULD be doing - making sure that I am healthy in every other way, happy, reduce my stress, etc and I do do things to aid my body, but it is so hard sometimes when I think about my brother, you know? So I can do all the yoga, therapy, organic eating, etc in the world, but at this moment, I still get so stressed and upset.

With my hair loss being at some weird state of regrowth and loss, I decided to purchase a fancy schmancy wig since I don't see my hair loss slowing down for a long while. If you are in NYC or are coming into NYC, I really recommend Bitz n Pieces. The service was amazing, the people were so comforting and nice, and the wigs feel amazing. Incredibly expensive (mine was $2200) but the owner of this salon makes wigs for everyone from chemo patients to Cher so I figured hey, might as well go big and get a wig that gives me perfect hair every day.

I know I am blessed to have an amazing support network, with really good doctors, therapist and general help, and I should be so grateful. But I am still just so sad about this all. I am not in a place of acceptance yet. For example, I do not see myself mentally ready to shave off what little hair I have left. I cry every time I see handfuls and gobs of hair. I feel so ugly even though all sorts of people compliment me everyday. I feel shallow and guily when I feel sad about my hair loss, because I technically am healthy in every other way while my brother has a heart problem that had few solutions or treatments these days. I feel hurt when people say "it's just hair!". I feel angry when people diminish my alopecia which we all know is at least some part an autoimmune disorder, and say it could be worse... I could have actually been sick.

I am confused about my emotions, and as a person who had a major depression episode years ago, I am scared I might go back into a depression even with all my support.

All in all, I am totally on a really wacky roller coaster ride, and I have a lot more to go, don't I?

What are your stories/what has your trajectory been like?