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I am a new member to this site. I am a 45 year old single (never married) woman and have had Alopecia Totalis for the past 15 years. I have tried everything re: dating and it has chipped away at my self-esteem so much. I have told some guys about my problem after they get to know me and have dated for a couple months, and I have told guys on the second date when there seems to be mutual chemistry and compatiblity. Neither have panned out well for me. I have take long hiatus' (years) from dating to avoid the discomfort and potential rejection. I feel like I am going to be alone for the rest of my life and I have so much to offer someone. The prompting for this post is due to a man I started dating who recently rejected me for what I assume was my telling him about my hair condition. He simply disappeared a couple days after I told him. I go from feeling incredibly hurt, to feeling he doesnt deserve me and how much character can he have in the first place, to feeling very angry. I am of the belief at this point that no matter how much confidence one has about being a hairless female does not erase the superficiality of guys out there.
Just thought I would get this topic going again on this forum.
Lesli
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I have never had long hair, and now I barely have any hair. Before I had alopecia guys would always say to me "let your hair grow" relationships never lasted long, and now I echo the sentiments that I may be alone forever due to the hair loss. But lets try to keep positive, we all know of successful relationships in the alopecia community, so why not us. Lets think of the laws of attraction, if we keep saying we will be single forever, if that is the message we send out to the universe, then that will be our reality.
true-and also, beware those who are too intense too fast-alopecia or not
I think it would help it some women chose to be bald and had men interested in them. Then women who are bald whether by their choice or not, would most likely do better.
Actually would like to go out with a woman who is bald (preferably) by choice.
Ideally I would like a woman with whom I was going out to be completely and permanently bald (preferably by choice). Was wondering if any women are here are bald by choice and do not have alopecia.
I'm guessing probably not since it's a support group for alopecia.
Hmmmmm! A year and a half has gone by since the last comment?
Leslie, have you found your lover yet? The guy who likes you for being you? Never give up. He may just be around the corner. Kiss you.... Curly
Hello Lesli, I'm a new member to this site also. I am 60 years old recently separated after 34 years of marriage and four beautiful adult children and eight grandchildren. I don't even know what it feels like to hear a man tell me that I'm attractive. Especially that of my estranged husband. I finally figured it out. I have had Alopecia Universalis since 1983. It grew back fully after seven years. Suddenly I experienced another horrific episode in 1990. I am still an Alopecian today. Nevertheless, the neglect and withholding any expression of support, affection or just to hear the words, "You are beautiful!" became too painful. I had finally came to admit that I deserve to be happy and to feel good about myself, hair or no hair. I never imagined that this would have happened and 34 years of marriage. I truly afraid to date. I feel ridiculously shy. I overstand your pain Lesli. One day, I too will enter the world of dating.
You and I deserve that special someone. I wish you the best. Lets keep in touch. We can encourage each other through this.
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