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Comment by Larry Barbee on June 26, 2024 at 5:13pm

Part 4

I love being bald and feel special and attractive even more than I did before my hair fell out. Rarely do I use the term “hair loss” because I don’t like the connotation that I have “lost” something. I feel that my beauty was changed and not lost when I went bald. I will probably be self conscious of being bald for the rest of my life, or as long as bald is perceived as unusual. The option is whether or not to feel good or bad, attractive or unattractive because of it.

After we finished moving my stuff, I treated Susan and Denise to a “fashion Show” complete with bad jokes and funny stories about my experiences. When it was time for Susan to go, she kissed my nude scalp, cooed that she thought I looked cute, and said that she believed that bald is beautiful. I thanked her and told her I thought she was beautiful, too. She grimaced and said that she was hardly beautiful considering that she was this, that and the other thing. I took exception to her self deprecating remarks and tried to put into perspective what I have written in this article.
“Having hair does not make one beautiful, nor is it true that bald is beautiful in and of its self. Being bald doesn’t make a person beautiful, Susan, but a person can make baldness beautiful. The same, perhaps, can also be said for this, that and the other thing.”

The one thing I lack is a need to talk to people who have had similar feelings. I just want to share my feelings - good and bad - with others who have done what I've done. Not just "heavy" stuff - I mean things like "how did you feel when you got a wig different than your natural color," "have you ever revealed your baldness to someone you dated and they loved how you looked" "I love myself equally, bald or wigged, anyone else feel the same?" These are just some examples. 

God bless and love,

Larry

Comment by Larry Barbee on June 26, 2024 at 4:55pm

Part 3

A Special Wardrobe
“What’s in here?” Susan asked. We were shifting some of my belongings and among them was a storage box with the word “Herman” scrawled across the top.
“Take a peek,” Denise advised with a twinkle in her eye.
“Eek! There’s something furry in there!” Susan screamed as she dropped the box.
As Denise laughed, I picked up the box and with mock indignation over the word, “furry,” and explained to Susan that she had picked up my wig box.
“But these wigs are all different colors and styles, Larry, are they all yours?”
Susan had asked the question most people ask fairly soon after a relationship is formed.
“I’m totally bald and my lifestyle includes wearing wigs on those days I feel like being a “haired” person. I adore my bald head and spend time making it look good and feel nice. I like hair too, and with wigs I can enjoy a variety of looks in different hair styles and colors.
It is possible to be both bald and “haired,” and enjoy being both.”
“I think that’s wonderful!” Susan exclaimed with a look of sincere delight and approval.

The way we feel about the way we look is important. Physical beauty is one of the cornerstones of self esteem and it is one of the most vulnerable. This is an article about how I have dealt with this subject in one area and I hope that it will inspire the reader to find solutions to their own threats to self esteem.
I have been fortunate in that my hair loss experience was not burdensome or a source of great anxiety. The reason for this is simple -- I did not see baldness as a disfigurement in others so I did not see it as such for me when I went bald.
I am a Christian; as such, I strive to see people the way God does. I don’t see “ugly” people. The physical body is much too frail to be a vessel in which a person’s beauty and worth can be housed. Even those who are deemed to be “beautiful people” will be stripped of their attributes through age, disease or accidents. So much of what society labels as beautiful is not even intrinsic; a cursory examination of history and other cultures will show the great diversity and transitory nature of so called Perfect Beauty. The diversity of beauty in human beings is staggering if we are receptive to developing an appreciation of it.
Most bald headed men and women I knew or had ever seen never struck me as disfigured or ugly. I believed that they possessed beauty in ways that were different from someone else; indeed, those bald people who incorporated their baldness into their self image in an open and positive way seemed even more attractive and even exotic in their beauty.
It is hard to believe in one’s beauty especially if it flies in the face of conventional standards. It can be done and I have had some success at doing so. It does help if there are people in your life that will support you and believe in your beauty, too.
The first wig I got was a present from someone who knew I wanted one but couldn’t quite get the nerve to get it myself. I think that I would have eventually but this speeded things up for me. The wig was christened “Herman” by my friend Holley and became the first for many more to come. The support Holley provided cannot be praised enough. She genuinely liked what I was trying to do and did everything possible to help me create my lifestyle and get all I could out of it. She encouraged me not to wear hats or wigs in public after I began to keep my head clean shaven because she knew that I really wanted to. She and many others have made my balding experience one of the great blessings in my life.

Comment by Larry Barbee on June 26, 2024 at 4:52pm

Part 2

For me, going bald was not something that was necessarily bad in and of it’s self. It was the early 80s and a lot of actors and athletes were starting to accept, embrace, and love their baldness. Guys were sporting shaved heads, and I thought “would I look good with a shaved head?” Much to my parents’ displeasure, I took the plunge and have lived happily ever bald ever since.

It was about the same time that I became aware of the auto-immune disease, alopecia areata – mostly from TV talk shows. There were lots and lots of them back then such as Oprah Winfrey, Geraldo, Donahue, Montel Williams, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Jenny Jones to name just a few. Although the cause of my baldness was different than their’s, I identified with them, and I felt like a kindred spirit. I did my research and learned that people of both sexes, all races and all ages can “get” alopecia areata – this, of course, made me feel even closer to these people.

Seeing bald women on these talk shows talk about how wigs were easier to take care of, that they could be worn for fun and fashion, and that having different colored wigs allowed them to enjoy a variety of looks planted a seed within me that would lead to having an exciting and adventurous life in my future.

Work on my peer support group went well. I found potential members through newspaper ads and contacting local Dermatologists. Not only did the “skin Docs” tell their patients about the group, some offered to come and give talks on the subjects of alopecia areata, totalis, and universalis.

A cousin of mine ran a small salon and I noticed one day that she had two short wigs – one was dark brown and the other was a frosted brunette. I tried on each one and realized that while they were women’s wigs (only because it said so on the boxes they came in), but they looked like they were for men – well, maybe the frosted one was a bit of a stretch, I liked it, and well, uhm, I wore them at the next two group meetings. I intended wearing them only at the support group meetings: I could have told them what I had seen on the talk shows, but the truth of what the women with alopecia had said about wigs looking much more natural “these are not your momma’s wigs” and that whether bald or not, wigs can be worn for fun and fashion, but by wearing them I showed rather than just told them what I now believed was true.

An area of my life was changed not because I was helpful in making women feel good and beautiful about being bald. The planted seed within me that would lead to having an exciting and adventurous life came to fruition when I got compliments and positive attention from women who saw me in wigs.

I’ll close for now by sharing an essay I wrote twenty years ago that still rings true and has helped people with all kinds of self esteem issues. I’m now wanting to meet, talk and share with kindred souls who feel the same way I do.

God bless and love,

Larry

Comment by Larry Barbee on June 26, 2024 at 4:50pm

Part 1

Hi, my name is Larry, and I’m a wig wearer.

While I truly love my totally bald head, I choose to wear wigs as a form of self expression, and I’m interested in meeting people who share my feelings and interest in wearing wigs. Let me begin by sharing with you some of my story.

When I was in college, for one of my psychology courses I had to design and implement a peer support group – I chose to work with people who had the auto-immune disease, alopecia areata. I wanted to work with people with this hair loss problem because I was dealing with baldness issues of my own. I started going bald in my early teens from androgenetic alopecia. My self esteem was not very good – mostly because of being over weight, but also because I was something of a free spirit. I pursued my own interests without much thought as to what other people would think. For instance, I was a fan of Star Trek – this was before the movies with the original series cast of characters, and long before the “next generation” and it’s spin-offs made Star Trek popular again. My childhood and my teenage years were not good times in my life; however, I am thankful for those bad times because they made me receptive to God and having a relationship with Him – a relationship made possible by what His son, Jesus, did when He willing died for me and everyone else who was lost and alone and need love.

Comment by Heather Bloom on February 16, 2024 at 1:31pm

Thank you, Larry. Doesn’t seem like this group gets much activity

Comment by Larry Barbee on February 15, 2024 at 9:01pm

Hi  Heather, welcome to the group.

God  bless,

Larry

Comment by Heather Bloom on February 15, 2024 at 7:43pm

Hi All, new to this group

Comment by Chethan on January 3, 2024 at 1:34am

Anybody here from Bangalore, India? Would love to connect

Comment by Rahul on October 22, 2023 at 6:12am

Anyone from india. 

Comment by Ty on August 11, 2023 at 10:44pm

Any single ladies in the south OC or north San Diego areas of Cali? I'm a 48 year-old single guy who lives coastally, so the number of water activities and sightseeing areas are plentiful. Hopefully, hiking, boating, kayaking or stand-up paddleboarding are exciting enough.

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