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Day 1 - Alopecia Areata
I found out today that my doctor thinks I have alopecia areata. I apologize if this is not posted in the correct area but I just need to vent to some people that understand and can give some suggestions.
I am 31, Male and know this has to have started within the last month and a half.(Since my last haircut, and probably sooner since it wasn't noticeable when it was cut that short.) When I get my haircut I get a #1 on the sides (about 1/4 inch) and finger width on top (about 3/4 inch to 1 inch depending on the stylists fingers.)
So I get my hair cut....exchange small talk and she holds up the mirror at the end to show me the back right side of my head. Looks nice. I pay and tip and then go about my day. An hour later I meet my wife and she explains that the stylist messed up and I have a huge hole on my haircut. It's about the size of a thumbprint but the location is the most undesirable trait. It's about two inches higher than my ear but it's on the back left side of my head. She took a picture as I can't see it myself and since I have black hair and a white scalp it's blatantly obvious. I proceed to call the salon and my stylist answers the phone, poor girl. I'm not one to swear or get too out of hand but I still told her she messed up my head and I was not happy. She told me she thought it was just from a previous scar and I knew about it.(like I would knowingly cut off all my hair that was hiding this scar) The manager then talks to me and I go in to show her and see what they can do. She asked me on the phone if I had alopecia and I explained I did not. I arrive and very quickly they explain they aren't doctors but they think I do have it. The manager says she still will talk to her employee because she should have addressed the gap and showing me the side of my head without the spot wasn't cool either. They offered to try and do something to minimize it but I declined. At this point, I'm embarrassed (both about the situation and how I handled myself on the phone. Frustrated about where I am at with the condition and haircut. And I'm crying because I don't know how to cope with whats going on through my head (much less on it). I call my doctor and they squeeze me in....confirm the belief and set me up with a dermatologist.
So, I'm a manager where I work....professional business attire. Dress code doesn't allow for hats. I have absolutely NO hair I can hide it with as it is on the side 1/4 inch length area. As I see it I have 3 options. Go for a military style high and tight and bic the sides(was in the army and not really liking this idea but I'm exploring options), shave the entire head, or walk around with this white spot on the side of my black head. If I go for the first two I don't know how I get passed the obvious stage to something a little longer, or do I look odd for a month until it starts getting coverage. It's uncomfortable for me at this point as it is so new and I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary. If it was in a typical androgenic alopecia areas I don't think I would be this frustrated.
Do any of you have any thoughts, ideas, previous experiences on what you have done? I work later today. I can't sleep. I don't want to go into work and explain to everyone whats going on because I don't really know myself....but I don't want to look like an idiot who doesn't know his stylist royally messed up on the back corner of his head and people snicker. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and thank you for your responses.
I am 31, Male and know this has to have started within the last month and a half.(Since my last haircut, and probably sooner since it wasn't noticeable when it was cut that short.) When I get my haircut I get a #1 on the sides (about 1/4 inch) and finger width on top (about 3/4 inch to 1 inch depending on the stylists fingers.)
So I get my hair cut....exchange small talk and she holds up the mirror at the end to show me the back right side of my head. Looks nice. I pay and tip and then go about my day. An hour later I meet my wife and she explains that the stylist messed up and I have a huge hole on my haircut. It's about the size of a thumbprint but the location is the most undesirable trait. It's about two inches higher than my ear but it's on the back left side of my head. She took a picture as I can't see it myself and since I have black hair and a white scalp it's blatantly obvious. I proceed to call the salon and my stylist answers the phone, poor girl. I'm not one to swear or get too out of hand but I still told her she messed up my head and I was not happy. She told me she thought it was just from a previous scar and I knew about it.(like I would knowingly cut off all my hair that was hiding this scar) The manager then talks to me and I go in to show her and see what they can do. She asked me on the phone if I had alopecia and I explained I did not. I arrive and very quickly they explain they aren't doctors but they think I do have it. The manager says she still will talk to her employee because she should have addressed the gap and showing me the side of my head without the spot wasn't cool either. They offered to try and do something to minimize it but I declined. At this point, I'm embarrassed (both about the situation and how I handled myself on the phone. Frustrated about where I am at with the condition and haircut. And I'm crying because I don't know how to cope with whats going on through my head (much less on it). I call my doctor and they squeeze me in....confirm the belief and set me up with a dermatologist.
So, I'm a manager where I work....professional business attire. Dress code doesn't allow for hats. I have absolutely NO hair I can hide it with as it is on the side 1/4 inch length area. As I see it I have 3 options. Go for a military style high and tight and bic the sides(was in the army and not really liking this idea but I'm exploring options), shave the entire head, or walk around with this white spot on the side of my black head. If I go for the first two I don't know how I get passed the obvious stage to something a little longer, or do I look odd for a month until it starts getting coverage. It's uncomfortable for me at this point as it is so new and I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary. If it was in a typical androgenic alopecia areas I don't think I would be this frustrated.
Do any of you have any thoughts, ideas, previous experiences on what you have done? I work later today. I can't sleep. I don't want to go into work and explain to everyone whats going on because I don't really know myself....but I don't want to look like an idiot who doesn't know his stylist royally messed up on the back corner of his head and people snicker. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and thank you for your responses.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Well, since I happen to be up at 2 am for no good reason, I'll answer. Yes, hairdressers are the first to usually alert us to this, and take the brunt of our shock. In my case, I was 10, so I didn't have your vocabulary yet, ha ha! (Plus, it was my mom's friend who was doing our hair in our basement...at least she was a more loving one to soothe my mom). Next, you can do like Hummphrey Bogart did with his alopecia, and spray something with textured hair on the area before your performances at work. Or, you can beat them all to the punch, over-correct and shave it all off for a New Look, without even mentioning the alopecia. Then, there are toupees...but, for today, go to an all-night pharmacy and see what they have to cover up until you get to the dermatologist.
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on
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Good morning Justin,
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Relax - it's not as bad as you think it is.
Now that you've done that, then from a workplace standpoint let me be one of the first to offer you what may be the best advice anyone can offer you. Get a written diagnosis from your dermatologist. Take a copy of that written diagnosis to your HR department and get it on file. Then whatever makes you feel comfortable, go for what you know. Having alopecia is a protected condition under the Americans with Disabilities Act, and therefore your employer must allow you to wear hats, scarves, or anything that allows you to cover up your AA, should you so choose.
It sounds like the spot has been there for a while and for nobody to notice it before now, I would imagine that nobody still notices, unless of course it has gotten bigger since you first had it pointed out to you. Funny thing about spots; once you notice that first thing you obsess over it - you're constantly checking it in the mirror, constantly wondering what others think about it, or even if they see it - and the more you obsess over it, the more you see it, until it becomes all you see.
As a man, your options are considerably more acceptable socially than they generally are for women. For right now though, I wouldn't do anything. If anyone asks what happened, just tell them that it was an accident. Funny thing about memories too; most people have really bad ones. They forget things almost as soon as you tell them. Besides, you never know - that spot may just grow in all on its own and you won't have to worry about anything.
When it comes to bridges, I'm sure you already know what I'm about to tell you. Cross the bridge when you come to it. You may or may not take my advice, but at least it will allow you to sleep. And feel free to look at my page and blog here, as well as the blogs of others. If nothing else, know that you aren't alone on this journey. We're all here for you!
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Permalink Reply by justinvenners on
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Thank you both for the replies. I was able to sleep after I got that all out. I just don't want someone to think of me as unprofessional and a haircut that looks botched worries me. What I dislike the most is that I like short hair....and it makes it themost obvious. Eh, I'll survive. And whatever happens, happens. I will continue to frequent the board and I'm sure I'll have lots of questions. I've learned a lot in the first 24 hours..... Thank you again.
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J -
My first exposure was this: Christmas dinner (2003) and my neice blurts out "why do you have a big bald spot on the side of your head?" She was kidding and not inappropriate for the mood of the party, we kidded, but wow I had some reality to deal with the next day. My wife had not noticed, nor hairdresser last haircut.
The spot was above my ear on the right, and before I got to the doctor I was wondering if I had gunpowder residue on my head, rabies, AIDS, the flu, Parkinsons, allergy to soap, allergy to peanuts, wheat, almonds, and so on and on.
After my gp told me that its alopecia areata and its not such a big deal I was relieved. Not happy, not pleased, but glad to know I was not likely to be dead soon.
anyways you are not alone. its not that bad. mine has gotten a lot worse over the last 8 years, but all in all its not that bad. I wear a cap a lot when I am not in the office. At work people have asked if "it was an operation", and thought many other ideas I am sure.
I hope I have helped you.
BV
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Permalink Reply by R0BB on
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Justin -
43 yr old guy here .
If I were in your situation , I would buzz/shave both sides as close to the skin as possible (high and tight indeed).
Military - YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH type haircut.
Two things may happen in the near future:
1. The problem area will grow back . Check the area weekly to see if its growing , if and when it does you can allow the buzzed sides to grow and catch up with the rest of your coconut. If its not growing you can maintain your close shave by doing it yourself or hit the barbers when ya need to or Buy yourself a cordless trimmer to keep things in check until you see whats gonna go down.
OR
2. The discovered area will become larger. Check the area weekly and if indeed the problem area becomes worse and you cant find stubble or regrowth , then the area is already shaved down so continue the high tight style. Worst comes to worse you could shaved your entire head like Im gonna do - just in time for the warm weather.
Keep visiting here and soak up all the knowledge you can from everyone. Try not to freak out cuz there have been situations where someone like you will have one small instance of alopecia , and never have it again.
Have a drink and crank up the stereo.
- R0bb
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I've had that moment at the hairdressers too :)
In hindsight, I have had AA before in the past, blamed the hairdresser for nicking my scalp or something at the time.
15 years later its probably too late to go back and apologise!
Anyway, to the matter at hand, in all liklihood it''s just AA, so do what Robb says and watch it, and don;t worry.
As a bloke, you have options. I'm sporting the full shaved-egg look and many have said it actually suits me (the nicest liars in the world), but all joking aside, it's totally ok to be bald/shaved these days.
It's helpful to have a "prepared" answer for the curious people/if anyone notices.
Either way, try not to worry :)
Log in here for a rant/gripe/moan - you will feel better afterwards.
Greg
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