Hi All,

I've been having a hard time lately with my hair and the emotions that are tied with it. I've had Alopecia Areata for a little over a year now. It started in April of last year as a small dime sized circle and grew to about the size of an egg/lemon. I started getting cortisone shots which stopped hair loss immediately. But of course that was only temporary. Through the summer I still dealt with covering the spot but no hair loss, and it had started to grow back. Come October anther spot in the front of my head appeared. Treated it. it stopped falling out. Of course the back of my head(original spot) started shedding again. Shots didn't seem to help so I tried Plaquenil. That also seemed to halt hair loss immediately. I had a good four months of complete re-growth and no active areas. I thought I was out of the woods and could finally put this behind me. Well here we are again, and the back of my head is very active. While it isn't happening in circular patches the whole area is just thinning around the initial spot. I've decided to forego treatment as I do not believe it would be anything but temporary, it also takes time away from work to go to appointments, and it's money I'd rather be spending elsewhere. So here I am, crossing my fingers that it will soon stop falling out and I won't lose so much that I have to start wearing a wig. I'm angry. I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with my hair. It causes me so much anguish fretting over it, and then it stops falling out and I have all of this hope, only to fall out again. It's hard to accept things and move on when you're constantly back and forth. It's caused a resurgence of my anxiety and I've developed some rather troublesome self esteem issues. I'm smart enough to get help(therapy) for these issues and feelings that have come up but of course I'm still struggling with it. I see so many beautiful people on here who I think look great without their hair, but at the end of the day I'm just not okay with the thought of my hair being gone. My hair makes me feel pretty more than any other feature. My hair envy is out of control as well. My boss has GORGEOUS model hair and I want to throw things at her whenever she complains about her hair(I don't actually throw things). I realize this is turning in to more of a frustration rant than a post, but I just would like to hear from others and how they have learned to deal with the coming and going of your hair. At this point, even if my hair stops shedding and comes back in the missing areas, given the last year my AA will most likely become active again. Some days I want to shave my head so that I can just move on. Anyhow would love to hear from you all :)