Hello everyone! 

So this is my first post here, and I just thought it'd be good for me to kind of get to know people who would know the feeling that comes with alopecia. At the moment I'm two months away from my twenty third birthday, and its been about a year since I've noticed my hair falling out. I was diagnosed with alopecia in April. 

All my life I had been known for having beautiful, silky black hair. It was my mask in ways, since I've been suffering from depression for over ten years now. I have always hid behind it. Last year October, on my anniversary, my husband of three years (yes I got married young) had left me for another women, and now I'm in the process of divorce. He had been the one who had gotten me out of my depression four years ago when I had met him, we immediately fell inlove and got married. Yes, young love, stupid mistake to get married so soon, but it felt right. With him having left me I started hiding behind my hair again, and I don't mean by making pretty hair styles I mean literally hiding behind it, it would hang in front of my face and hide me from the rest of the world. Then one day while at my sisters place she decided to give me a hair cut, something new, to help me start a new life, and she noticed a tiny bald patch. We didn't think anything of it until a few months later, just a couple weeks before my birthday, and noticed it had grown to be a larger patch, and more patches started forming. 

Well in the end after a few months I couldn't take it any more and I had shaved it off, I did kind of a mohawk look, where everything but the top was shaved, that lasted a while till I got frustrated with shaving of bits of the hair I wanted so I got rid of the whole thing. I'd started to get the cortisone shots, and my hair grew back, but it also started to make my skull form craters, so I had stopped, now what was new hair forming is new hair falling yet again. 

This has caused me to become even more so depressed, although I have accepted that I will most likely lose all my hair soon it is still depressing me. I once had lovely long silky hair, and now I have two inch long hair that is slowly starting to fall. I've gotten a boyfriend since, and he is very accepting and supportive of whatever I do, but when I see all these girls with long hair, beautiful hair styles it gets me to become very insecure. And I've spent my entire life being insecure of myself. My mum had bought me a wig, but we had experimented on it to see if we could cut it and change it a little due to the ends fraying (synthetic cheap wig), and now it has become unwearable. And we're not very well off for me to go out and buy a new one. So I've started hiding under hats and scarves yet again, its a good thing its winter now, but I still hate how I look.