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Does it get easier?
My son is 12 and has been bald for 2 years. He is now in 7th grade!
He is a pillar of strength and he amazes us. He doesn't like the fact that he is bald and that everyone thinks he has cancer, but as a family, we remain positive and focus on all of his strengths that are totally not related to his appearance. He has amazing heart, he is a great baseball player, he sings, he has a great personality, he is an amazing athlete in every sport he plays. It has been very difficult for me as a parent to accept that I can't "fix this!" The more I focus on NOT focusing on his hair the better off we all are! He is beautiful first and foremost on the inside!
He always says " my friends like me for me, not for my hair!" I am certain it is easier to be a boy with alopecia, but people are very cruel and insensitive today.
We choose NOT to let it define who he is. As a parent I certainly worry about his future in dating, marriage and children, but I choose to enjoy today and every moment with him and thank God every day that it is NOT cancer! What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger and he is so strong and positive and that is the way we choose to live our lives! It will not control us, we are trying to control it! Take one day at a time and love who you are inside first! Everything else will fall into place!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Thanks for the post!
Rosy
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Hi, my 9 year old daughter has alopecia areata, and like you, it breaks my heart that I can't fix it. Her hair started to fall out last Oct, and by Mar it was all gone. It since grew back, but is now falling out again, currently just on the right side. She is also now getting eyelashes in her eye each night, again just the right one, and I'm absolutely terrified that she will lose her eyebrows and lashes too. I need to be strong for her, but I just worry about her so much. I can't focus at work, because that is so unimportant in the scheme of things. She is such a beautiful soul, I love her so much, I just wish this was happening to me instead. We thank our lucky stars that we are otherwise healthy, and I'm trying my best to be as strong as I can. My partner is a rock, thank god for him x. Any tips for coping?
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Hi Deb
Your post takes me back to the beginning of my journey with my daughter...she had just turned 12 when her alopecia began.
It's very important to look after you and I know when this happens to our children all we want to do is fix this and help, so sometimes looking after our own well being is the least of our priorities.
I remember not sleeping and constantly worrying for the future. I grieved, which is what you are doing and that's an important part of what has to happen around this condition. There is no wrong or right way on how to do this....just the right way for you, your daughter and your family.
Some of the things that helped me get balanced around alopecia were, education, communication, and investigation.
Learn about this condition, work out what things are going to help you and your wee girl. Talk to others who have been there or who are in the same place as you now ( just like you are are now....reach out, there is a wealth of knowledge here). Never stop talking with your daughter and your family ( this will help you work out her needs as they change and develop through her teens and her own journey with this condition).
Trust your instincts you are her mum and of all the people in the world you will understand her the best. I'm sure you are her biggest advocate...keep going she needs you more than ever.
My daughter is now 22 years old ...10 years on. It continues to be a journey that has it challenges ( as life is). My daughter has and continues to grow into an exceptional young woman ( can't help being a proud mum). She has achieved a wonderful education , is a medicinal chemist and has done a post graduate diploma in teaching ( she is currently a full time chemistry teacher with her students (all boys) aged between 13 and 18). She has a wonderful boyfriend who I love. She is funny, strong and loving.
When I think back I'm pleased that I armed myself with knowledge as Tweens and teens have their challenges...but I want to assure you, you and your daughter will find 'your' way.
If you need extra support go and seek it...sometimes talking to a counsellor can be so empowering ....I did this for about six months to help me get things sorted for just me. When I did this I finally felt that the discussion wasn't a burden to others as even though my family were there for me I needed to release my upset to someone that I felt I wasn't hurting.
If I can be of support just let me know.
I will friend you as I have my page set on private.
Hang in there you sound like an absolutely fabulous mum, your love will sort this out for you and her.
Rosy
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