I need some advice from fellow alopecians. I know there's a lot of threads on here already about sex & alopecia, but my problem is a bit more specific than just sex. I have somewhere between alopecia universalis and alopecia totalis -- lost all my body hair completely, and it's slowly been coming back over the years in some places (armpits lol). I'm totally comfortable with my body and my alopecia, but the one thing I still don't like is my lack of eyebrows. I draw them on every day with makeup.
My alopecia doesn't affect my life, in any way -- until we hit dating. I'm an open-minded person, and I would like to be someone who is totally fine just jumping into bed with a new partner - but I'm so scared for them to see me without eyebrows that I really avoid sex and sexual intimacy with someone until I know them really, really well. (Because makeup eyebrows rub off during sex) Which means that for the last, gosh, six years, I've had one boyfriend and very few sexual encounters. Which totally also affects my sexual self-confidence.
But you know what ? I am 28 now, turning 29 in a few months. It's time to get back on the horse and deal with my eyebrow issues. Goddammit I want a partner !
So I have been giving online dating a try, and right now I have a date lined up next weekend with a guy who's been getting sexual in his flirting. And the sexual flirting gives me anxiety because I'm not comfortable with this, and the idea of getting sexual with him next weekend scares me... but at the same time, I'm determined to face this anxiety. I know that I don't have to have sex with him, but goddamnit I need to get back on the sex horse, and if I like him, why not ? (Oh even typing that is a bit scary lol.)
Does anyone have any practical suggestions for going forward, esp with my eyebrows? Any suggested makeup products that might help my eyebrows stay on during any sexual encounters ? Should I try to hang out with my friends more without eyebrows ? Should I come clean and tell him that this scares me, even though it's our first meeting ? (aha waaaay too soon, no ?) Should I just suck it up and tell myself: calm down, you got this, don't overthink this, go and have fun and see what happens ?
Attaching photos... cuz ADDRESSING MY EYEBROW FEAR ! RAH ! NO FEAR !
I just want to say that if someone doesn't like you for who you are, just go out with someone else. I am sure some people think it's strange I don't have eyebrows or eye lashes. But I rarely get someone that says anything. Your a beautiful young girl. Does he know you have Alopecia? In my experience we are more the problem when it comes to dating, not the alopecia. If it helps your confidence the microblading looks pretty good. I know a few girls that shaved their eyebrows and had it done.
My friend had hers tattooed on, looks nice
Hey Sarah! Thanks for posting and opening up! I hear you with fears and hang ups, but bravo for trying to face them and have a good game plan! I used wunderbrow and it stayed on a lot longer than other eyebrow makeup - had scrub off. I than recently got microblading and feel so much better. Since I was not that good with getting even brows with makeup, etc. lol. I do think you look great without them and your smile shines. However you know you and what need to do to relax and have fun and enjoy yourself is most important. I shared with partner that I wore wigs and it helped me ease anxiety, though something I'm still working on. Good luck and keep posted if like.
Yes, I totally believe that alopecia shouldn't stop you from doing anything you would've done if you had hair/eyebrows! So good for you for taking the initiatives :)
There are so many options!
1. My fave would be microblading, but that won't work in time for your date!
2. Wunderbrow as Lea mentioned:
3. Fastest option: Go to a Sephora (or similar) and ask for a semi-permanent eyebrow makeup. Followed up with a makeup-setting mist such as Urban Decay (~$40), or Elf (~$3). I actually prefer Elf! You can buy it online or at Walmart.
Keep us posted! :)
You can get temporary tattoo eyebrows from Headcovers.com I have used them for years and they usually stay on for 2 to 5 days. Check out their website.
Looks like you have a lot of suggestions here. I would add that since you are comfortable with your alopecia perhaps adding a photo of yourself without the eyebrows to your profile. Sometimes getting things out in the open help.
MircoBlading has been a huge success for my eyebrows, look the procedure up on youtube
That is my next step up from these temporary tatts. Was it painful??
I've been checking, and most places won't / don't want to do microblading over perm make-up.
Microblading is temp also as it only lasts a year or so. By temp tatts, I assume you mean perm make-up - which isn't either.