eyebrows & sex

Hi all,

I need some advice from fellow alopecians. I know there's a lot of threads on here already about sex & alopecia, but my problem is a bit more specific than just sex. I have somewhere between alopecia universalis and alopecia totalis -- lost all my body hair completely, and it's slowly been coming back over the years in some places (armpits lol). I'm totally comfortable with my body and my alopecia, but the one thing I still don't like is my lack of eyebrows. I draw them on every day with makeup.

My alopecia doesn't affect my life, in any way -- until we hit dating. I'm an open-minded person, and I would like to be someone who is totally fine just jumping into bed with a new partner - but I'm so scared for them to see me without eyebrows that I really avoid sex and sexual intimacy with someone until I know them really, really well. (Because makeup eyebrows rub off during sex) Which means that for the last, gosh, six years, I've had one boyfriend and very few sexual encounters. Which totally also affects my sexual self-confidence.

But you know what ? I am 28 now, turning 29 in a few months. It's time to get back on the horse and deal with my eyebrow issues. Goddammit I want a partner !

So I have been giving online dating a try, and right now I have a date lined up next weekend with a guy who's been getting sexual in his flirting. And the sexual flirting gives me anxiety because I'm not comfortable with this, and the idea of getting sexual with him next weekend scares me... but at the same time, I'm determined to face this anxiety. I know that I don't have to have sex with him, but goddamnit I need to get back on the sex horse, and if I like him, why not ? (Oh even typing that is a bit scary lol.)

Does anyone have any practical suggestions for going forward, esp with my eyebrows? Any suggested makeup products that might help my eyebrows stay on during any sexual encounters ? Should I try to hang out with my friends more without eyebrows ? Should I come clean and tell him that this scares me, even though it's our first meeting ? (aha waaaay too soon, no ?) Should I just suck it up and tell myself: calm down, you got this, don't overthink this, go and have fun and see what happens ?

Attaching photos... cuz ADDRESSING MY EYEBROW FEAR ! RAH ! NO FEAR !

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Permalink Reply by hagster on September 12, 2017 at 11:17am
Sarah - I'm so glad to read how you are accepting of your situation. Sans the eyebrows, of course. You are vy beautiful young lady - with or without brows.

I, too, am very focused on my eyebrows - as the eyes are the windows to the soul and the brows are the window frames. And, usually one of the first things people notice when meeting or looking at someone.

I had permanent make-up done years ago. Unfortunately, with the last touch I had the artist got the taupe pigment too deep and I now have bluetone brows. So, I still have to use something to tone down the blue.

Today, the trend is microblading. Better results than perm make-up and more natural looking. Even the guys with alopecia are pleased with the outcome. Perm make-up takes about a week or so to heal and I'm not sure about the micro.

There are brow wigs that are glue on real hair brows that you can buy on a lot of sites. And, I have read on here that there are also brow make-ups that last 24 or more hours. Go to the top of this page and on the left is something called 'All Discussions'; click on it and type in eyebrows, eyebrow make-up, microblading, etc in the search box; this will bring up all past discussions on that particular topic. Then you can read the comments.

Sorry I can't be more help. But, this should give you a starting point. Best of luck with your date. (I'm old and met my very accepting partner thru Match, so there is hope for all.)
Permalink Reply by Seattlewingsfan on September 12, 2017 at 8:19pm

I just want to say that if someone doesn't like you for who you are, just go out with someone else.  I am sure some people think it's strange I don't have eyebrows or eye lashes.  But I rarely get someone that says anything.  Your a beautiful young girl.  Does he know you have Alopecia?  In my experience we are more the problem when it comes to dating, not the alopecia.  If it helps your confidence the microblading looks pretty good.  I know a few girls that shaved their eyebrows and had it done.

Permalink Reply by ebecker on September 13, 2017 at 12:12pm

My friend had hers tattooed on, looks nice

Permalink Reply by leah on September 13, 2017 at 1:57pm

Hey Sarah! Thanks for posting and opening up! I hear you with fears and hang ups, but bravo for trying to face them and have a good game plan! I used wunderbrow and it stayed on a lot longer than other eyebrow makeup - had scrub off. I than recently got microblading and feel so much better. Since I was not that good with getting even brows with makeup, etc. lol. I do think you look great without them and your smile shines. However you know you and what need to do to relax and have fun and enjoy yourself is most important. I shared with partner that I wore wigs and it helped me ease anxiety, though something I'm still working on. Good luck and keep posted if like.

Permalink Reply by Tanya on September 13, 2017 at 6:43pm

Hi Sarah,

Yes, I totally believe that alopecia shouldn't stop you from doing anything you would've done if you had hair/eyebrows! So good for you for taking the initiatives :)

There are so many options!

1. My fave would be microblading, but that won't work in time for your date!

2. Wunderbrow as Lea mentioned:

http://www.wunder2.com/product/wunderbrow-semi-permanent-eyebrows

3. Fastest option: Go to a Sephora (or similar) and ask for a semi-permanent eyebrow makeup. Followed up with a makeup-setting mist such as Urban Decay (~$40), or Elf (~$3). I actually prefer Elf! You can buy it online or at Walmart.

Keep us posted! :)

Tanya

Permalink Reply by JessicaStinkle on September 13, 2017 at 10:09pm
I absolutely love your post, after reading it I felt like I was actually talking with you! As far as products, I can't imagine you haven't heard of it already but I'll still say it because I am in love, Anastasia brow dip pomade. I was suggested it by a few people when my hair started falling out and I've only ever used that. I'm an athletic person, I've done multiple bike rides, runs, workouts,even a tough mudder and my eye brows have been with me the whole time, they can certainly withstand Sex. You just can't touch them, that is the only thing that ruins it. They even withstand the shower and steam. As far as being uncomfortable with no eyebrows, I've just started thinking about this myself. I immediately got Universalis a few years ago but in the past year I started growing hair in random locations (small patches here and there). I'm so comfortable with my hairleasness but I can't imagine going without my brows. Which is sort of funny because I believe we alone make ourselves feel as though we can't. Specifically for me, I started dating my boyfriend 3 months before I lost my hair and that was back in 2014. I still don't want him to see me without my eyebrows. When I'm drunk that's not the case and of course I wake up in the morning and the brows have been wiped away. He's seen me browless on numerous occasions but I'm still uncomfortable. I'm a firm believer in saying what your soul is telling you to say and communication is key. If you simply talk about it then it will be easier to discus. When you hold it inside it just builds upon itself.
Permalink Reply by Hilary on September 14, 2017 at 4:10pm
Guys love confidence and they think it's sexy when a girl rocks whatever she has. Just be you girl
Permalink Reply by sandy edwards on September 21, 2017 at 12:48pm

You can get temporary tattoo eyebrows from Headcovers.com    I have used them for years and they usually stay on for 2 to 5 days.  Check out their website.

Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 23, 2017 at 2:59pm

Looks like you have a lot of suggestions here.  I would add that since you are comfortable with your alopecia perhaps adding a photo of yourself without the eyebrows to your profile.  Sometimes getting things out in the open help.  

Permalink Reply by Lauren on December 6, 2017 at 3:56pm

MircoBlading has been a huge success for my eyebrows, look the procedure up on youtube

Permalink Reply by BB63 on January 31, 2018 at 12:41am

That is my next step up from these temporary tatts. Was it painful??

Permalink Reply by hagster on January 31, 2018 at 10:29am

I've been checking, and most places won't / don't want to do microblading over perm make-up.

Microblading is temp also as it only lasts a year or so.  By temp tatts, I assume you mean perm make-up - which isn't either.

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