Alopecia World
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eyebrows & sex
Hi all,
I need some advice from fellow alopecians. I know there's a lot of threads on here already about sex & alopecia, but my problem is a bit more specific than just sex. I have somewhere between alopecia universalis and alopecia totalis -- lost all my body hair completely, and it's slowly been coming back over the years in some places (armpits lol). I'm totally comfortable with my body and my alopecia, but the one thing I still don't like is my lack of eyebrows. I draw them on every day with makeup.
My alopecia doesn't affect my life, in any way -- until we hit dating. I'm an open-minded person, and I would like to be someone who is totally fine just jumping into bed with a new partner - but I'm so scared for them to see me without eyebrows that I really avoid sex and sexual intimacy with someone until I know them really, really well. (Because makeup eyebrows rub off during sex) Which means that for the last, gosh, six years, I've had one boyfriend and very few sexual encounters. Which totally also affects my sexual self-confidence.
But you know what ? I am 28 now, turning 29 in a few months. It's time to get back on the horse and deal with my eyebrow issues. Goddammit I want a partner !
So I have been giving online dating a try, and right now I have a date lined up next weekend with a guy who's been getting sexual in his flirting. And the sexual flirting gives me anxiety because I'm not comfortable with this, and the idea of getting sexual with him next weekend scares me... but at the same time, I'm determined to face this anxiety. I know that I don't have to have sex with him, but goddamnit I need to get back on the sex horse, and if I like him, why not ? (Oh even typing that is a bit scary lol.)
Does anyone have any practical suggestions for going forward, esp with my eyebrows? Any suggested makeup products that might help my eyebrows stay on during any sexual encounters ? Should I try to hang out with my friends more without eyebrows ? Should I come clean and tell him that this scares me, even though it's our first meeting ? (aha waaaay too soon, no ?) Should I just suck it up and tell myself: calm down, you got this, don't overthink this, go and have fun and see what happens ?
Attaching photos... cuz ADDRESSING MY EYEBROW FEAR ! RAH ! NO FEAR !
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by AnnS on
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Yes, but you'll get over the pain. Just gut through it. I have had two children without anesthesia. It wasn't as bad as that!
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Permalink Reply by BB63 on
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I just saw ur message, I gave been using beauti-ful brow tattos.
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What about microblading? Lasts about a year. I had mine done and it was great. I had some eyebrow hair for a while, then lost one almost completely. I had them micro bladed and they looked good, they don't rub off.
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Permalink Reply by hagster on
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Not to be snide, but if you read this thread, you'd have seen microblading mentioned in the first reply and many times onwards. So, your idea of microblading isn't exactly a new or novel one for the OP.
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I have a husband with alopecia and you know this does not affect our relationships and sex life. We met him at all on the adult dating site
https://hookupmasters.com/ when I saw him I immediately fell in love with him. We have very old sex and there are no restrictions on sex.
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I can't find a partner for sex due to my alopecia. Unfortunately, it affects me in a very serious way. Especially I suffer a lot of the lack of sex. I've become a regular customer of the sex shop https://nicetystore.com/ because periodically I am buying some devices for pleasuring myself and can't live without it.
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Adult candy and adult foods are the kinds of things that give us shivers. I got erotic candy and adult foods that will make my little heart happy! Adult candy contains candy made with highly nutritious ingredients and is designed to be as safe for the body as possible while also providing the thrill of virgin consumption. That means no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives — just natural ingredients that are made to delight your taste buds and keep you young! Added ingredients like natural fruit juices.
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Truth be told, I got a similar problem. I had a severe injury when I was younger. Now my hands are full of scars, which most of my partners and I find unattractive. I was struggling a lot because of this. But I've got the solution to this problem. I often started to use the services of a https://aurumgirls.co.uk escort agency. Those girls don't care at all how you look. They just want to have a great time with you. So don't be disappointed because there is a solution to your problem. Or maybe who knows maybe someone will fell in love with you and all your disadvantages that you find unattractive.
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Permalink Reply by Paulina on
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What you need to do is to get over yourself. Sex is about opening your soul to someone - trust that there are insecurities others have that aren’t on the surface or as easy to see. You can say that it’s about your alopecia but it really is about being afraid of intimacy. Both sex and emotional intimacy. “Into me see” is really what sex and emotional sharing is about. So when you are at that level, how can hair matter to your lover? It doesn’t. Also the endorphins you will get when you reopen your sexuality will be good for your health and anxiety. I recommend seeing a therapist about your body image issues as well. Instead of walking around feeling rejected ( this goes for everyone in this discussion) how about finding some approval for yourself? How about forming some connections that go deeper than sex? I think the eyebrow thing is more of a metaphor for being afraid to share yourself with another person (intimately). I personally haven’t gotten my eyebrows done and never will because I think the no-eyebrow look is interesting and I like to draw my eyebrows on.
Paulina
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