Every time university is about to start up I start thinking about how I'm going to be wearing my wig everyday and how I am pretty much lying to everyone that I meet by hiding the real me. It's so frustrating because I've gotten so used to being bald at home after almost eight years, but I'm still terrified of letting the cat out of the bag at school. I'm so tired of trying to figure out when to tell people or if I should tell people. I hate that I let my alopecia limit what I do, but I just can't stop worrying about what I would do if I got a really negative response in a place where I have to go to everyday. I love playing soccer and a lot of other sports, but I've never actually used my campus recreation center because it is just too hot wearing a wig and I'm too petrified to go without it. I have lived in georgia for 5 years now, and I still haven't managed to tell any of my friends about my alopecia (although they probably have guessed by now since I have an identical non-alopecian twin). I have a thyroid disorder as well which can cause depression so maybe that is what's talking right now, but either way that's the way I'm feeling right now. I have so much resentment for my twin because she didn't get alopecia so the "why me" attitude is going crazy right now and I don't know how to shut it down. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my life is just passing me by because I'm too scared to fully participate. I feel so trapped, but I'm also disgusted with myself. It drives me nuts that I still can't just move on after all this time. Sorry for the rant I didn't feel like making my family feel bad because they can't do anything to make it better.