Finding it hard coping with hair loss. How to adapt to wearing wigs full-time and how to tell people about hair loss!

I am having trouble coping with my hairloss. I have lost 50% of my hair with my hair very thin all over. I have hair on most of my head it is just extremely thin and see through and curly.

I am having trouble coping with my hairfall and at the point where I am not sure if I should shave it short and wear a wig full time.I do own wigs and have worn them in my free time around some people

My problem is coping with telling people about my hairloss and explaining my transition to wigs and shaving.

I still have hair ...but as I say it is at the extremely thin stage, where I can't do anything with it. If I go out in any sort of a breeze my hair is soooo flyaway and thin and I am concious of people looking at me.

Also I am working part-time at a childcate centre and have just started training to become an Early Childhood Teacher. When I work at the centre I wear a thick headband to try and conceal my hairloss. If I do decide to shave and or wear wigs full time I am unsure of how to explain it to people. Should I actively tell people about it or when they ask what should I say?

I am sure they will notice I am wearing a wig. I am also unsure of what to tell the little children if they happen to ask about my change in hair.

Any ideas of how I can cope with the transition or what I should do...I am so freaking out!!!! It is so hard :(

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Permalink Reply by Lexi on February 17, 2013 at 9:50pm

Mary, it is great that you are so comfortable. But it is not for everybody. Thank the Lord I still have hair, all be it so very thin. I feel my head sometimes. I have dents in my head on both sides. Nice! Does anyone here ever mention the fact that to be comfortable being totally bald, one has to have a nice head? One also should have a totally pretty face, nice skin, great body, the list goes on. If you are older, or just an average looking person or your skin isn't the greatest, or you have dents in your cranium!!! maybe you could never be comfortable. The list goes on. Not everyone could feel comfortable bald. EVER!!

Permalink Reply by Mary on February 17, 2013 at 11:42pm

Lexi, and everyone, I know that going out in public bald isn't for everyone. My intention is just to share my experience and let other women see that it can be an option for some. I totally support women who aren't comfortable being seen bald, or who just aren't interested in it. Believe me, if I could stand wearing a wig, I'd be wearing them. Physically, it just wasn't an option for me.

There are women here on Alopecia World who go out in public bald who come in many different sizes, head shapes, body weights, and ages - just like bald MEN do. They are living proof that in order to be comfortable with the bald look, a woman doesn't have to have all the attributes you list. I think this is something that's going to become more acceptable in time, just as baldness for men has.

Permalink Reply by Jennah on February 18, 2013 at 3:56am

I totally commend you for being comfortable being bald, that is fantastic and you do look great. It is hard before deciding to shave remaining bio hair or as your hair sheds not to have these questions. What will my head look like bald? will I still look attractive to not only others but to myself . It is definitely a hard one ! lol

You do look fab by the way :)

Permalink Reply by Mary on February 18, 2013 at 10:17am

Thanks...it's just what it is. I found that after becoming bald, I paid more attention to what I wore - nice tops and earrings, and hold my head up a little higher.

Permalink Reply by Jennah on February 18, 2013 at 3:53am

I think you totally have a point there!One thing I always worry about if I shave is Make-up...I like to wear make-up and usually I blend into the hairline to get a natrual look and if there is no hairline, do you end up having a mask effect? also yeah about the sking thing. I am not entirely comfortable with my skin, which is part of the reason why I wear make-up in the first place (partly because I love make-up) without hair is it attracting more attention to the other flaws ( if you can call them that).

I am not at all a shallow person and whne I look at others I never judge on appearance, however it is hard not to do so for ones self don't you think!!!

There are some gorgeous bald women on this site I must say with fantastic features, gorgeous skin and lovely shaped heads. Some of us are not so blessed lol

Permalink Reply by Mary on February 18, 2013 at 10:16am

Hadn't thought of makeup, Jennah...I've never worn it, except for some blusher.

I can tell you that when I first shaved the last of my hair, my scalp/head was noticeably whiter (even though I've always kept my face out of the sun, or used sunscreen). My husband was super supportive of me being bald, but only asked that I even up the color. I did that by sitting in the backyard a little time each day in a sun hat with no top - it perfectly covered my face and the temples, but let the "dome" get some color, until it was even. Now I'm always careful to either be bald in direct sunlight, or wear a sunhat. I don't go out in sun for more than a few moments if I'm wearing a scarf, so as to not get that "tan line" again. ( ;-)

Permalink Reply by Lexi on February 18, 2013 at 9:26pm

I for one!!! I see this bald young girl at this place where my husband and I often go out for dinner. She is very pretty. I of course have never said a word to her, but she is very comfortable in her own skin, she works as the hostess some nights. Along with a few other pretty young girls with lovely hair. She could wear a wig like anyone else could, if she so chose. But she doesn't, and she looks pretty the way she is. Like so many of the people on this site who post pictures. Oh, and I never did think about the makeup line. I always wear foundation, as my skin isn't the peaches and cream I would like.

Permalink Reply by MaddiiBoo on February 22, 2013 at 4:56pm

You'll be fine with the makeup! Just get foundation the same color as your skin and you won't even be able to tell. I can email you pictures of me wearing makeup without hair. We're more critical of ourselves than others. =]

Permalink Reply by Kara on February 18, 2013 at 9:53pm
Oh, the wind. My biggest enemy for months! I know how you feel. I started telling people at work about my AA before I braved the wig. Thankfully, I had many supportive co-workers. It was extremely difficult that first day wearing it (I wanted to vomit walking into work) but it does get easier. I'm going on 3 weeks of the wig and am starting to get a little more comfortable. I think I'm more conscious of it than anyone else. At least I don't have to worry about the wind anymore and I am certain my employer would frown upon a bald head. The kids probably won't even notice or care. The first day is difficult but it does get a little easier. I would always prefer my own hair but that is not an option now. I hope you find the courage to do what makes you feel better! You are not alone. P.S. I too always wonder if my husband looks at me the same even though he says he doesn't care. :)
Permalink Reply by Debs on February 18, 2013 at 11:26pm
I transitioned into wearing wigs at work 3 weeks ago, I felt exactly how you do. I took 5 weeks off work, I didn't go into work in my own hair one day then pitch up the very next morning in a wig. By taking 5 weeks off people didn't have a clear picture in their minds of exactly how I look. When I went back to work people said they like my new hair style - my wig is same colour and length as my own hair was - they think I have just had a cut and am using hair straighteners to make it all straight and shiny! I have only told my closest friends and family. I wear a lace front wig and that lace front is marvellous, it really does make the wig look realistic. It is a huge step wearing a wig to work but I honestly think if you take even 2 weeks off you will be able to pull it off, people are not as observant as we fear they are. Good luck to you
Permalink Reply by jewels on February 22, 2013 at 12:58am

When I started wearing a wig and people noticed...they'd say what's different? I would just say I colored my hair or that I got a cut it seems to work. I lost about 50% of my hair as well and also wore head bands. I went to the hair club since i've had my awesome wig I shaved the rest of my hair. Honestly I love it...it feels good to have a full head of hair and when i'm home i can take it off an i don't have to deal with it. Being able to work and go out and not worry about what everyone else is thinking is amazing. I say shave it...good luck. and don't freak out your not alone :)

Permalink Reply by MaddiiBoo on February 22, 2013 at 4:54pm

I know what you're going through. I wear a wig around extended family members and honestly no one has noticed. The key is to carry your wig with confidence. And most of the time it's you being hard on yourself rather than people being hard on you.

Also with enough research you'll find wigs that don't even look like wigs. There is hope yet!

Good luck <3

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