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Hair loss affecting a marriage -- am I the only one?
I'm not sure what I'm hoping for -- advice?? Someone else who knows what I'm going through?
But I'm surprised I have not seen this mentioned anywhere, or maybe I missed it.
My hair loss has really affected our marriage. My husband says he has a hard time finding me attractive anymore, and it's obvious from his actions as well. Obviously this has all kinds of ramifications.
How do other people cope with this??
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Georgia Stephens on
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It's a biggest problem that happened with many of the peoples. For this you may use a best hair wig that helps you and your marriage life also. http://wigsbycc.com/
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Permalink Reply by Neil on
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I know it's important to keep a positive outlook but the reality is that a part of relationships is attraction. As a comparative example: if you put on weight after marriage and your spouse is attracted to thin people then they will find you less attractive. They are likely as able to change that about themselves as we are to grow hair. As a guy my dating demographic is reduced to women who find baldness attractive, or at least have hair low on their list of priorities. Add the fact that our baldness can make us look unhealthy (mine is pretty patchy) and it becomes even harder to find someone. Unfortunately what a lot of women look for in a guy is confidence and getting shot down constantly doesn't do a lot for that. This is where we have to be a little tougher than the average person. We need to maintain a positive attitude and draw strength from other qualities that make us attractive. If your spouse liked you better with hair it sure isn't going to help the attraction if you become depressed about losing it.
So here is my advice for what it's worth.
- To suggest that your spouse is shallow or whatever is not really fair to him. He is human and as humans we have preferences. I would start by making sure you do not judge him too harshly as doing so will definitely not help.
- Wear scarves or wigs. Not only do they decorate your head they allow you to introduce variety into your appearance. Find out which ones he likes and wear those. Maybe he could even buy some or help you pick them out.
- If you haven't already, make sure he knows how his attitude makes you feel. He won't likely be able to change but at least he can be more cautious about expressing it. It is good that he was honest enough to express his feelings. Some people would be more likely to say that you look great or even better (especially if they are not actually ever going to be in a relationship with you). These white lies make them and you more comfortable but have no place in a relationship (IMO).
- Remember that we can not change other people, only ourselves. Smile and be happy for what you DO have. Everyone is more attractive when they are happy,
- All relationships take work. If you want it to work both people have to work at it. Maybe, ask him what would help make you more attractive to him (short of magically growing your hair back).
Hope this helps. Stay positive but realistic.
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Permalink Reply by Alanna on
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I hope that you all take a moment to listen to the gorgeous, Hollywood actress Carolyn Hennesy on this topic!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3KzMptAV1U&feature=youtu.be
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Permalink Reply by youarebeautiful on
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Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Everyone has issues. This is a good healthy reminder. I felt overwhelmed yesterday and today. I took a day off work because I just could not get out of the bed this morning. My body felt so heavy. I felt nauseous. I had a few errands to run even though I did not feel 100%
I pressed and am having a pretty good day. I was able to get a short nap in which helped. I am enjoying a quiet evening.
We can do anything.
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Permalink Reply by Chickadee on
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Mine affected my marriage.....my husband of nearly 25 years left me because he wanted women with hair!
I am heartbroken. I am not sure what the future will be for me.
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My heart is with you. Was this recent?
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I do not think it is the hair. IWith all due respect, it is because he was not courageous enough to tell you the truth. He decided for 24 years that you were "just right" without the "hair" Now at year 25 it's "the hair'
Do not beat yourself up. The hair is a "cover story." There is always a back story. Pray that you get the real back story. It is not the hair. God Bless you.
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Thank you! We were divorced in 2014. He said he I am not a real woman without my hair. I know deep down it is for the best after he had numerous affairs. I am scared that I will be alone for the rest of my life!
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Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on
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It's Not good for us to think negatively about our future. Instead it is good to build upon our strengths and concentrate heavily our inner Beauty And self esteem.
I am sorry for our ex's. They don't know how to relate to true beauty. Let"s have a pity par5y, let's have a beauty party. Wigs, no wigs, make up tricks and skin care Be your own kind of Be You ti. Full.
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Hello Jenny! Please know that I previously posted a thread about Alopecia Universalis has affected my marriage. I'm moving forward now the hurtful
things that were said to me by my ex husband of 35 years was unbearable. Sometimes
wordsught were withheld and the rejection would weigh heavily upon me as though I was invisible. So 1 year after the divorce, I met a nice gentleman
. After dating for three months I wanted to share written information with him regarding the Alopecia Universalis that has stripped me of my hair, but not my spirit. the man that I was dating didn't want to read it the brochure that is regarding alopecia Universalis. I'm going to just kept telling me you know I was it was ok. So that was on a Saturday morning so Tuesday morning I get a text message saying that he no longer wanted to date and good luck to me. I don't really blame him. Nevertheless I provided true and correct medically documented information to help him understand but he refused to educate himself regarding alopecia. The feeling of rejection can scar the soul from not wanting to trust others acceptance oneself. But I wasn't really sad. I actually felt more empowered, knowing that his ignorance was not the foundation that I wanted to build a relationship upon. And I quickly affirmed, that he is not the man for me. So, from having the husband of 35 years, in having a male friend for approximately three and a half months, caused me to be relieved knowing that there's nothing wrong with me. I can't shake it, but I know now that bald is beautiful. I became course in my heart knowing that my husband of 35 years actually looked at me and felt the same way about me the man whom I knew for only three and a half months. I must admit the greatest pain where's acquired from my husband of 35 years. Junie find your strength in the inner most deepest part have your spirit and be strong not to let anyone use the weapon of rejection against you. Begin to tell yourself how beautiful you are! I'm wish the very best for you in your relationships and that you will be accepted for the beauty that is within you and that is shine from the inside out. I'm so sorry for the pain you must have experienced. But I feel more sorry for those who have operated under such dark rejection I gain those you carry section on dutyI gain those you carry sugh an oddity as Alopecia Universalis.
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Be strong Jenny and move towards a better beauty, a true beauty that causes you to shine.
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THanks for being so candid. You are a beautiful women. Thanks for encouraging others.
I'm sure there is/was something about those men--flaws they had that you accepted without complaint.
I choose to believe there are strong me who will love you for you, not for your external appearance.
Anyway it is their loss. You seem like a great lady to me.
Carry On, continue encouraging others. You helped me today.
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