I'm not sure what I'm hoping for -- advice?? Someone else who knows what I'm going through?

But I'm surprised I have not seen this mentioned anywhere, or maybe I missed it.

My hair loss has really affected our marriage. My husband says he has a hard time finding me attractive anymore, and it's obvious from his actions as well. Obviously this has all kinds of ramifications.

How do other people cope with this??

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kick him to the curb...he should love you unconditionally..

whats wrong with him.

My man loves me for who and what I look like.

he sounds very immature...its not you...there's something wrong with him

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I had no idea how much it really bothered (some) men and how much it would come to bother me. For my husband, it was a sore point. I could have told him he gained weight, that he had food stuck in his teeth, or that he was dressed badly, but if I knocked his hair (or lack thereof), all bets were off..


Untreated, hair loss  in female pattern baldness is permanent. In most cases, hair loss is mild to moderate. You do not need treatment if you are comfortable with your appearance.


The only medicine approved by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat female pattern baldness is minoxidil:

  • It is applied to the scalp.
  • For women, the 2% solution or 5% foam is recommended.
  • Minoxidil may help hair grow in about 1 in 4 or 5 of women. In most women, it may slow or stop hair loss.
  • You must continue to use this medicine for a long time. Hair loss starts again when you stop using it. Also, the hair that it helps grow will fall out.

If minoxidil does not work, your provider may recommend other medicines, such as spironolactone, cimetidine, birth control pills, ketoconazole, among others. Your provider can tell you more about these if needed.

Hair Transplant:

During hair transplant, tiny plugs of hair are removed from areas where hair is thicker, and placed (transplanted) in areas that are balding. Minor scarring may occur where hair is removed. There is a slight risk of skin infection. You will likely need many transplants, which can be expensive. However, the results are often excellent and permanent.


Hair weaving, hairpieces, or a change in hairstyle can help hide hair loss and improve your appearance. This is often the least expensive and safest way to deal with female pattern baldnes

i am sorry to hear about this. i understand it can create some problems in marriage. i am lucky that my Husband is supportive in this matter. He loves me.

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I hope your Husband shows more love and respect to you.

Men are very visual so seeing a bold women can be a turn off. I am just wondering why cant you just wear a wig? at least in public? 

I love my wigs. No one ever knows that I wear them. Just get a lightweight human hair.

Wow, this thread is a real eye opener.  I'm male and I've been with my partner for close to 20 years.  My alopecia started around a year into our relationship.  I've had the hair loss for so long, I can never actually remember the exact amount of years as I'm not good at keeping tabs. 

Strange thing is, it was me that nearly destroyed the relationship.  I wanted her to hate me, to find me unattractive as I hated myself and felt unattractive.  I wanted conformation.  She never gave me neither. Even though I was horrible to her for the first year into my aolpecia journey, she stuck by me for some bizarre reason.  I was depressed, I realise that now.  So much so, I turned to drink (10 years without a drop now).

She never needed to ever use my alopecia as an excuse as she had 1001 other excuses to leave me that would have been just as valid as had she found me unattractive. I think my problem was, I was in my mid 20's, had an easy time getting women and my girlfriend was utterly gorgeous. I felt I suddenly went from like for like to "punching well beyond my weight". Yet after all that and more, she's still here and our relationship is strong. We've had our ups and downs like anyone, but nothing major in over 15 years.

Although i do feel uncomfortable with her doing it, she's always made me feel like the most attractive looking guy in the world when i know for a fact I ain't. I owe her more than I can ever put into words.  What i will promise, I will be there for her no matter what.

I like your story b/c I had felt the same way. I was dating my boyfriend for 3 months when my hair all fell out and I was absolutely convinced he was going to leave me. Even when I realized he wasn't leaving me as my hair was falling out, I was afraid to say to him that it will probably never come back b/c I thought he would leave me for that. Eventually I realized that if he ever left me it would have absolutely nothing to do with my hair (or lack of). It's nice to hear a similar story. 

Mine left me for his long-haired secretary...so I divorced him. I wore wigs out of the house, scarves to bed, and he knew there was no cure...yet he was cruel enough to order me to grow hair. Idiot.

My story is the opposite. I'm losing my hair due to chemo and Lupus. Well, my husband just recent revealed to me an " affair" he has been having for a year now. ( At our Therapist he said it was only sex but, that's still horrible? And she has Alopecia. Completely bald no hair anywhere. So, our situation is opposite in that my very nice long thick hair with patchy baldness underneath, I admit it is very pretty. Did not make a difference. He had sex with a woman with alopecia for a year. So it didnt matter to him hair or no hair. I was getting sicker and sicker and this " woman" came up at work one evening and said " a bunch of us are having drinks after work, come on and go". He came home that night and told me this "strange girl " invited him to the bar with the crew but nobody was there. He had a beer and left. He felt bad because she was extremely odd and people were mean about her baldness so he said he would take her under his wing and be a friend. If only we had known she ONLY dates married men. And uses Alopecia as a sympathy factor. My husband had been on the job maybe 2 months. So anyway, he willingly had sex with her most of the time and tried to get rid of her the rest. Their conversations are all like "Nobody loves me my life is horrible" " if you try to stop seeing me I'll tell your wife everything etc... A. MESS!!!!! But this person is using her condition in a very destructive way. Manipulating it to get what she wants. Who does that right? She could have a normal life but has made the choice, married men only. And then acts as if her disease is why people dont want to be near her. Family cant stand her, she cant stay out of rehab and when he would try to end it she would threaten to tell me and throw her crotch in his face. Poor woman literally only thinks she is a walking vagina. Not good enough to find her own man. VERY SAD!!! The only way my husband could get out of that relationship ship was to tell her he was staying for the money! If he said he loved me, she would threaten to contact me. And when she did, She said " Dont you tell me who to f***. I will f*** your husband when I want to and you have nothing to do with that"    So, I'm babbling. But this is how Alopecia affected my Marriage. We are fighting to put the pieces back together and Its not easy. My husband is a fool and this woman is crazy. I have never seen a person come up with so many different ways to contact a man when her phone number was blocked. I bet she used 30 different ways to call and harass him. Friends phones, computer calling etc. One night Dec 8 2018, she called 36 times in a row!!!! Then took a short break and went back to it. So not Alopecia but, this woman with Alopecia and using it as a tool to hurt people had done great damage to my family.  And the sad part is, Her Mother died from the same disease I suffer from and am in later stages of. Woman has a black heart and to think,we wanted to befriend her. Sad. Been a nightmare! Then I find out shes in this group. I'm not mentioning names so I hope it is ok. It's all raw honest and true. Husband has a file on her. Will never name her.


Lack of sufficient sleep or vitamins, Hormonal in balance problems may cause hair loss. According to the National Sleep Foundation, it is suggested that the number of hours of sleep varies, depending on the age of the individual.



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