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Happening so quickly!
My story is a very long one, so I'll try to sum it up quickly! Last October I lost my mom to cancer, after a 2 1/2 yr battle and boy did she battle it well! This was extremely difficult for me because I not only lost my mother, but also (truly) my best friend! We did everything together!
My husband was extremely supportive throughout and always encouraged me to "Spend every moment you can with her! You may not have her for very long" I love him even more for that now! During those years she was battling, he always went above and beyond, doing everything he could, to give me as much time as I needed with her! As the primary caregiver of not only her, but also my father, I was constantly under a great deal of stress! After she passed, I somehow managed to get through the holiday's...for my girl's (and my husband)! Struggling to move on...without her!
Then in March 2012, I found my dad unresponsive, but luckily, after a week in ICU and a long hospital stay, he made it through! This being 3 days after a tick bite (to me), followed by a huge dose of antibiotics and then it happened...my 1st panic attack...on my birthday nonetheless! Full blown, rushed to the hospital...thinking I was dying!
Not a month later and I found the "2 small spots". Now being unsure what the cause was! Was it finding my dad, the antibiotics, the panic attack? Why am I losing my once beautiful/extremely thick hair? It's happening SO quickly!
Can anyone please give me their advise: cause, treatment, wigs, makeup, shave or not to shave? Now, my eyebrows and eyelashes...are beginning to really thin! I just want this to stop! I just want to be "me" again! What really scares me though, is that I seem to be pushing everyone away, I don't mean too, but I just feel so lost...so alone!
Thanks for listening to me rant!
P.S. I have now lost more than 50% of my hair!...in 5 months...ugh!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Stress and environment or meds may be triggers for something already in our genes or DNA. See my posts under RESEARCH in Discussions, and go to www.naaf.org for research and local support groups. Macy's has a Brow Bar, and there are tons of posts under Discussions with good wig, shave and cosmetic advice. You now have hundreds of women here who share your concerns! By the way...you are still you, and you are primed to learn more now about your inner strengths!
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hi Judy
I'm so sorry that you have been through so much of late.
It sounds like you have alopecia areata. This diagnosis is not really needed to know that, what it means is that you are loosing your hair, which is frightening for you and I'm sure those that love you. I also understand at this time you will be feeling extremely lost and vulnerable. I am just going to write a description of the condition, please don't panic, as my intent is to pass on the worst and then help you with some solutions on dealing with this difficult condition.
Alopecia areata has no set prognosis or treatment course. At this time there is no cure. So, be thoughtful and do your homework on any treatments or medications you may be considering. Hairloss can occur with this condition in many different patterns and time lines. It is totally unpredicatable and nobody (including doctors) is able to tell you what is going to happen...that is the very worst of it. You don't have any control over it. In my mind you also did not cause it. Tallgirls explanation is a very good one. I always worry when people feel something has caused this to happen as they often feel if they remove that problem there hair will come back... sadly that is not how this often works. Not to say your hair won't or can't come back... Natural remission is very common for those with alopecia areata, a little more rare if you have the more extreme hairloss (alopecia totalis and universalis).
I totally get how you just want this to stop...that's natural and normal and it may stop, but it's important to be proactive around how you want to deal with the now.
Do your best to work out what you want to do around explaining this to people and presenting yourself as you feel comfortable, whether that be with patches of loss showing, or a scarf, or a hat, or a wig. Really work on your own needs and what you feel most comfortable doing.
I understand how alone and frightened you will feel but believe me you will find your way. You can do this and still be all you are and ever was. You aren't alone and many people on here will do there best to help you along the way.
If I can ever help please feel free to drop in and say hi.
Rosy
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Thank you for the responses, I was SO happy to see them and all were very informative! I am so glad I joined this site! It is wonderful to have others to talk to...that actually understand the emotional side of it all!
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@ BekindtoEarth, thank you so much for all the info...very helpful! So sorry that you have to go through this also! As soon as the Derm said those 3 devastating words "very rapid alopecia" I couldn't contain the tears! I decided immediately that I would be upfront with the people in my life. At first, I was able to conceal with a fancy scarf as a headband, but that didn't last very long:( and up until recently (thankful I HAD a ton of hair) I was able to cover "them" up with a thick headband and ponytail, but anymore that's just not cutting it! They say it's 50%, but i think it's far more. My "2 spots"...with in 5 days (by the time I got to Derm) was then 9 and they have grown so much that it is now the entire top of my head. With additional large spots on the sides and back! So now, until I find a wig, I've just been using bandana's. We have a Sephora close to us, so I'll now be going there this week! Thank you again for your reply...greatly appreciated!
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Permalink Reply by Christine on
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Hi Judy,
I'm so sorry that you lost your Mom, and the very close call with your Dad. I have lost both my parents, and like you I lost my Mom to Cancer, it was very short for her 6 week, I didn't have the time you had with her after finding out, but I also didn't have the 2 1/2 yrs of knowing that you had, I can only imagine how difficult that was. I promise it will get better, but it takes time, I remember that in the beginning every happy memory would tear my heart out, and any sad ones even more so. This too will get better, with time, now I can think about my Mom and Dad with joy and peace, and I know that they Loved me and I Loved them, the happy memories are just that, happy memories.
Now that the initial stresses are past, I'm not at all surprised that you have had an anxiety attack, usually they don't happen in the moment or the season of the major things we are going through but after, when we are left in the peace and quiet of our thoughts. Depression is only natural after such a loss and void in your life, and now to be faced with AA that is progressing rapidly, just more stress. I know there have been a lot of debate as to the notion of how much stress plays into AA and other Auto immune diseases, but I believe that it has a role, I think many things turn on the AA gene in us, I believe that mine was a drastic surgery I had ten years ago, nine months later I got my first spot, I also feel that during times of stress, I have noticed a period of loss about 2-3 month later. I do think that stress alone can start this off, but so can other things, it doesn't matter, as far as the AA goes, whatever turned in on, its on now. You said you have lost about 50%, are you still able to hide the loss? Do you have a distinctive pattern? What exactly have the Dr. you have seen say? Are they calling AA? My Dr. just gave me the diagnosis of Alopecia Universalis, even though I have what I thought was about 50% loss, but now that I've buzzed it all off, I can see it's more like 80%. Lost my eyebrows and lashes too. Have you tried a powder on the brows? this works really well when you still have some, I found it more natural looking than pencil, but you may want to play around with both.
I'm so happy to hear you have a very supportive husband, that will be a big help through this for you. Have you purchased a wig? It might help you feel better about things to visit a wig shop in your area, and many have private areas to try on wigs, try on lots of different kinds, to see which you would like. There are so many different options out there for us.
Most of all I want to tell you that there is hope for you, depending on your pattern, and if there even is one, there are some treatments that may help you, and if it is indeed caused by stress itself, may resolve on its own. So don't give up hope. But if for some reason yours does not respond, or resolve on it's own, remember you are not alone, we have been there, and we are still going through new aspects of this all the time. I found this site to be a Godsend, it has helped me to feel less alone, and just to find others who really know what this means to me, is a real blessing. Keep us posted. ((BIG HUG))
Christine
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Hello Christine, thank you so much for the reply! I am so sorry to hear you lost both your parents! It's such a tough thing to go through! I'm not sure which is worse, losing them quickly or knowing for so long that you're losing them. You're right though, I do see it beginning to get easier, have always heard it's all the "firsts" that are truly the hardest. I also believe stress definitely plays a roll...kinda sets it in motion. Witnessing "the fall" now, I do believe that it probably was happening for a while, but because I had so much hair, I didn't notice it. I say that because I am now losing lots of hair that is only about 3 inches long, which I'm guessing is the growth between now and back when my mom passed. I think, possibly, that finding my dad in that state, was kind of....the last straw. I am to the point now where I cannot hid it, have resulted to full head scarves or bandana's. Yeh, I have gone to 3 wig stores, but unfortunately have not found one that I like. Although, I'm beginning to think, I should not be so picky because at this point...anything will prob look better than what exists, haha! I don't really mind the scarves/bandanas on a daily basis, but it just is not going to work when I have dinner with our clients or school functions. I'm so torn with my daughters because on one hand, I want them to really understand that nobody is perfect, but on the other, I don't want other kids to make them feel "funny"....about their mom! Don't want them put in that position. I'm not sure I understand "distinctive pattern" sorry very new to this lol! I have about an inch back from my widows peek left and then from there back...nothing! It's now starting to go on the sides (above ears) and most of the back is already gone:( They say (docs), obviously I have some type of inflammation because the scalp will turn pink and then...the hairs falls! I have not tried powder, unfortunately I don't know the first thing about makeup. Actually I am 38 years old and the only time I've ever worn makeup was for my wedding...and someone else applied that, haha! I've always had really dark eyebrows and very long, dark eyelashes! So any advise on that would be appreciated haha! Going to take Tallgirls advise also and head to Macy's. I'm sure like most...I am so happy, I found this site! SO many strong women (and men) on here...quite the inspiration! It has been a blessing to be able to chat with others that truly understand! Hope to hear back and thanks again!
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Judy, don't feel bad about wanting to shelter the girls, I think that is very selfless of you, and no no one's perfect, they will not think any differently of you, and will love you even more, if that's possible, seeing what a strong woman you are! I have always said I would never leave the house without makeup, but I don't look my best without it, most women I know look good both ways, be glad you are one of those, wish I were, but I'm not... Now I say I will never leave the house without my makeup or my hair...lol I don't think that it's strange to want to present yourself in the way you want the world to see you, I wouldn't feel comfortable without hair, or makeup but I am happy that many women can and do feel comfortable going without both. The way that you describe your hair loss may be Ophiasis pattern, if you google it you can see pictures of it, I have that pattern of loss, but now I'm almost void of hair, the entire bottom is gone and has been replaced with white sparse hairs that you cant dye or do much with. I also get pinkish scalp in the active areas on my scalp when it's falling and for a bit after I have a bald patch. other than inflammation I've never heard what that means, and why do some see this and others don't?? Alopecia has lots of questions. When you go to Macy's have one of the gals at the makeup counter show you how to apply eyebrows, they will do a full face if you want, they would like you to buy their products of course but you do not have to buy anything if you don't want to. This is a great way to learn new ways to use makeup. and what a big help for your eyebrows, take a friend, it could be a nice fun day for you both. I'm glad to hear that things are getting better for you, and your right all the firsts are tough, and more tears will come, just let them it's part of healing. Hang in there!!
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Hi wise1! My girls are 19, 12, & 6...very spaced out (in age that is, haha, all 6 years apart). How old are yours? So glad to hear that they accept it so well:) So far, mine seem to be doing quite well with it also (but the "friends" don't know yet)! As a mom, I still worry...as I'm sure you know what I mean, lol. Us moms...always worry, when it comes to our kids, huh? As they are all girls, you can imagine that they love to shop, so they've actually been "helping me" pick new things to "conceal the spots". So glad you added a reply, thank you, any and ALL information/advise is a blessing right now! Trying to adjust so quickly!
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Hey Christine! Thank you for the kind words:)I must have explained it wrong, I'm losing it the other way...from the crown out. I did google Ophiasis and that is not what I have. The only hair I have left, other than a few small "islands"...is the hair line all around scalp. I'm guessing that's how I've been able to hide it so well...up until recently that is. Since I always had so much hair (thank god) I was able to pull what little hair I have left into a pony while also wearing a thick headband, to cover the bald areas. Interesting to hear you have the pinkish scalp also, did yours ever go back to normal? The areas that were originally pink are now kind of fading to a peachy color, but it's now been almost 5 months and I'm concerned that it's still not back to the normal shade! I do have to say I have those same baby hairs which pretty much look clear haha! And my hair has always been very dark. So do those white hairs not dye? Going to try to figure out how to upload pics to post. Thank you again for all the advise :) Hope you have a wonderful...rest of the weekend...whats left of it haha!
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